Sex after rectum removal

Hello all, I am a new member and I am glad I found this forum as it's comforting knowing there are people out there having the same questions and worries. Talking of worries, here is my biggest one at present.
I had an illiostomy since 2009, but this year I decided to make it permanent and remove the rectum as it never settled and is bleeding on and off. J-pouch, although an option is not for me. So I need to schedule the surgery. I've been putting it off for years and with good reason-having a child. Now my daughter is 3.5 year old and I don't intend to have any more because of other complications during pregnancy. So now I ran out of excuses to put it off. I was advised to have the rectum out as soon as possible by a consultant to eliminate risk of cancer and I understand the urgency. But, I am scared my sex life will never be the same. I'll be in permanent pain from what I've read on forums. Both my husband and I are very sexual people and I am dreading it. My husband has been very supportive and having an illiostomy hasn't been a problem (for him, or at least he says so for my benefit,however I have body image issues, but we all do), but having issues with sex is terrible. As someone in the forum already pointed out our partners haven't signed up for that.
I haven't had the surgery yet, is there anything that can be done to mitigate this. Do you all ladies find sex painful? Any workarounds you've adopted? Any positions that work better?
The consultant also mentioned numbing sensation and difficulties reaching orgasms? Anyone experienced that? I feel really depressed. Any words of wisdom? Thanks

I had both surgeries at once, but I don't have pain anymore from the removal. I think it lasted about six months. That was almost 7 years ago. 2 years ago I had adhesions and had to have a surgery for that. After that sex was really painful for months and I went to the Dr and found my IUD had been knocked loose during the surgery. With my husband it's always been painful, he's very large, most women wouldn't mind, I do! But it doesn't hurt anymore now than it did before the surgeries.
As for the body image thing, it doesn't bother me, my teeth bother me way more. I cannot get them to be shiny white. People see that, they don't see my bag. My husband really doesn't care, honestly most men are only paying attention to one thing during sex anyway! Get a band to hold the bag flat and empty it before hand and you will forget it's there.

Thank you very much ladies, sounds really encouraging. I guess I freaked out a bit after the meeting with the consultant. He is a very nice guy, quite blunt at times which I appreciate but it's different when you talk in theory and when you are on the receiving end so to speak(pun intended:). When he said sex will never feel the same, I'll be a bit numb and most of the plumbing will drop down hence I'll need to try new positions and may be a bit painful, I got really concerned. I am all for the different positions but continuous non-premeditated pain is entirely different thing. He also said he can't do anything to hold the movement of the vagina as there is nothing to tape it to. I hit Google as soon as I left his office and pain during intercourse after rectum removal was a prominent feature in the web search. Peace & Harmony, when you said that after the colon removal there was already movement, did you mean the vagina shortened or expanded?
Thank you. I really appreciate you all sharing such personal details.

Thanks for your response. After the surgery do the vagina shorten or become longer with the movements? I read somewhere that some women use dilators to stretch the vagina as it collapses once the rectum is removed and that's what's causing the pain, i.e. trying to enter a tunnel that's collapsed and every time need to make your own way through. (not a great analogy). Even someone mentioned that every time she had an intercourse after the rectum was removed was like the first time she had sex. Just the thought makes me cringe.