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Ostomies
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Posted 10/18/2016 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
My husband has cancer, which resulted in him getting an ostomy. My husband does not wear a shirt when we are at home. All of our friends know about the cancer and ostomy, but one friend has a problem with it and thinks he should cover it when people come over. This friend has a granddaughter that has been in my house numerous times and now she will not let the child come over and play with my granddaughter, she has also gone so far as to inform the parents of the other children my granddaughter plays with. Now I have been informed that their children will not come back to my house because they don't want their children to see his ostomy. I am very upset and feel that in our home people need to accept him with his sickness. Am I wrong?
Posted 10/18/2016 11:52 AM (GMT 0)
Try to be considerate. Everyone is different. You and hubby have to understand that not everyone is at your level - some people will be comfortable with seeing it, others won't. He shouldn't be expecting, nor trying to force, them to accept by exposing it constantly before them. Basically, when it comes down to it, it's just another way to poop. Some people consider pooping a private and personal thing and not something to be put on display. Did he go around pantless before surgery exposing his anus (via which he pooped - his ostomy is basically his anus now so it's not a far-fetched analogy) or invite friends into the loo whilst he was pooping pre-surgery?

My friends all know about my bag and are comfortable with it and yes, I would be comfortable showing it to them if they asked but I don't feel the need and they very rarely ask, nor do I think I should go around exposing it all day. They know about it, they are comfortable with it, They realise it doesn't change who I am and that's all I care about.
Posted 10/18/2016 12:13 PM (GMT 0)
That is great that he is very comfortable with is ostomy. But in the case of having company over the house, I think he should go ahead and put a shirt on. Not everyone in your life will have that level of being comfortable. Now my husband doesn't have an ostomy and I ask him to put his shirt on when people come over. He'd walk around in his underwear if it were up to him! Sometimes you just need to cover up.
Posted 10/18/2016 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
yup, you are wrong - like my mom always told me, cover up for company -
Posted 10/18/2016 1:45 PM (GMT 0)
Honestly even without an ostomy it's a little odd to be walking around with no shirt on when company is over. I'd definitely have a problem sending my daughter to play at someone's house where the grandfather was walking around without a shirt, ostomy or no ostomy. It's not necessarily an indictment of your husband's illness, it's more a societal convention. Don't take it personally.
Posted 10/19/2016 2:57 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the replies.
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