Who here has an ileostomy for life?

Don't anybody read this next post if you can't cope with negative thoughts.







I am tired. I cannot even enjoy the simple things of life anymore. Food (which I used to love) bores me to tears now; I eat because I have to rather than because I really enjoy it. My concentration has been torn to shreds, so I can no longer lose myself in a book or movie: it takes me months to finish a single book. I am single and childless and when my elderly parents die, I will be alone in the world. I feel tired and drained. Despite my best efforts not to, I harbour a lot of resentment and sadness. Not just about the recent op, I hasten to add, before anyone thinks I'm taking a dig at them, but about my entire life. I have a massive chip on my shoulder. I feel like I'm a burden, a waste of space and money. There you have it, positive thinking in a nutshell.

No, no job. Don't really want to talk about it, but that is another area of my life I have managed to mess up beyond all hope of recovery. I'm 38, too late for me to train for a career or whatever.

Thanks for suggestions, but I'm honestly not seeking advice. Just wanted to vent.

I did a masters degree at 42 and immediately got higher salaries.

What you just wrote sounds like it has nothing to do with your OP and stoma. Therapy. Look for it. It will help. Otherwise it seems you want to stay where you are. Which you can do if you like, just be aware there are narrow limits to how long others will play along.

38 is not too old to train in a new career. I had peers in my nursing class that were in their 40s, close to 50 even. I think that schooling/working would help tremendously. I had my stoma during my last 2 semesters of nursing school and I was SO busy that I forgot it was even there most of the time. I only thought about it when going to the restroom.

ncot - you probably have lots of reasons not to pursue a career in medicine, but i don't think people skills are absolutely needed - i'd prefer to have someone cordial and skilled than someone gushy nice and inept -

if you are drawing my blood, say hello, stick the needle in, get what you need, say goodbye, the end - i'm outa there and happy !

just my thoughts -

as far as my advice to feel better - when you are able, get off yer ass and go do something - always does wonders for my frame of mind

 

Cheers, soystud :p

Zuccazi - I have pretty much ruled out antidepressants entirely as a treatment option for me. I went through a range of SSRIs a few years back and had awful reactions to all of them. Later on, I tried a tricyclic which initially seemed to work better, but after a few months I became literally suicidal. I have since then gone on and off venlafaxine a few times over the last 3 years, but it doesn't seem to do anything for my mood and I don't think I'll bother with it anymore.

I'm just somebody who seems to have a weird reaction to meds; most of them, including the Crohn's meds, made me worse than I was before. I have to find another way of dealing with depression other than meds. Which sucks in a way, because if pills worked it would make it so much easier.

Thanks for the tip about lab techs though! I do like science, although I'm not sure if my brain is up to science degree level. But I think it's interesting.

Hi, NCOT! I'm usually on the fibro forum but peeked over here and saw your post asking about living with an ostomy for life. I havent read the whole thread but wanted you to know that I am living with a permanent ostomy. I had a severe case of Crohn's disease and needed the total colectomy done because my colon eventually was cobblestoned with ulcers and I was having to have blood transfusions to keep going. I had the total collectomy plus they had to remove the rectum too. So no pull down surgery for me.

I was 42 years old when I had my surgery and I just turned 66 years old last week. For me, this surgery not only saved my life but made it so much better. I was running to the bathroom 20-25 times a day and just going to the grocery store was a challenge. I would break out in cold sweats when the urge came that I was going to have a bout of diarrhea in the dessert aisle. So my ileostomy was a blessing to me.

I didn't look at this surgery as something negative. Yes, it does play with your body image but at least I was alive. I looked at the surgery as a different way of my having a bowel movement. It also gave me my freedom back and I was far healthier because of it

I have never let the ostomy stop me from doing anything. I have done a lot of traveling with it, like a two week tour of Italy. I've stood on a glacier in the Canadian Rockies, snorkeled, and even parasailed with my ostomy. As you can see, I've had a full and enjoyable life in spite of this surgery and plan on living a whole lot longer thanks to this surgery.

I just wanted to share with you my experiences with my permanent ileostomy. I think how you look at your surgery makes a huge difference. I've looked at my surgery as a blessing...not something terrible that happened to me. Sure it can be an inconvenience at times. I plan around things. But because I had this surgery I am here to enjoy the flowers, sunrises, spending time with friends and family and I'm even here to hopefully have helped you!

I used to do hospital visitations for the United Ostomy Association to share how life can be good with the patients receiving an ostomy. You are new to this and it can be frightening and depressing but there can be a wonderful life ahead of you. Perhaps see if you have a local chapter of the United Ostomy Association. There was one in my area and just going to the meetings and meeting people in person who live with ostomies really helped me and I could see wonderful people living a very normal life. Your local hospital could help you find a chapter near you.

I hope you start to feel better. You can live a long and enjoyable life with a permanent ostomy. I know because I have.

Sherrine

I don't think that when any of us wrote the famous "What I want to be when I grow up" we added pooping into a bag on it. BUT given a choice of lifetime of sickness we all chose surgery of some type. Personally I chose a permanent ileo, I didn't want to mess with the jpouch. And I love having it. I have a friend who always gets an upset stomach when he eats pork, yet he continues to eat it. And then he spends hours rushing to the bathroom, and I think, With my bag that won't happen! So yeah, I am happy with it. Does that make me crazy, maybe, I don't care.
Like I have I said before we ALL have crosses to bear and no ones is heavier than anyone elses. Just different.
Am I a super happy person? Nope, but I fake it! And when I do that, it makes me feel better. I keep myself busy, even though it's not always stuff I like to do.
I know you don't think there is anything in the world you can possibly do, well that's just not true at all!
My Grandma started a new job in a new field at 70 years old! A woman at school he is 45 just went back to college to be a mortician. She had no previous experience. Maybe that would be a good job for you. You don't like people, you do like medical stuff. You don't have to talk to those people!
Just try lots of things, you will eventually find something you like. Maybe find a pen pal, an older person or a vet. Just find something that will give you a purpose, or at least TRY something instead of constantly saying how unhappy you are.

i am 52 yrs old had my stoma since i was 4 to 5 yrs old i have ilestomy

Well, my experience doesn't qualify but maybe this guy can give you an idea about what life with an ileostomy is like:
"Ulcerative Colitis in 1975 - Ileostomy Since Then" link: /www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbfXxQMk7DI

If you want some encouragement and some tips on how to soldier on with an ileostomy, check this young woman's video:
"Q & A | Living With an Ileostomy, Staying Positive, Bad Days | Kristen's Chronicles" link:
/www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ezM9DdFxE4

Maybe we'll be able to tune back in to her channel in 45 years to see how she's managed....

Folks, this thread is 5 years ago and I had a reversal nearly 3 years ago >_>. That said, I'm still interested in new answers. Particularly as with the way things are going, I'm probably going to end up having to have an ileostomy again one day anyway :-/

Thanks Mak. Same for you too!

NCofT: Nice to hear you've had a reversal. I hope you can 'keep it all together' forever and not need another ileostomy.