Getting Nervous...

Ok, everyone bear with me please this is going to be extremely irrational, but please read it and then post "you are doing the right thing" actually you don't even have to read it, but it might be good for some laughs!

So I am having my surgery on 4-17, just 10 days away, and then I can really actually belong on this board, woo hoo!  So I am actually really excited about it, and I do know it is the right thing, but now I start having all these weird thoughts.  I had three valid reasons why I thought it was a bad idea, they are, it might leak/smell, it's kind of gross, and I will have to take stuff with me places (ok that one's a little weak) and about 30 reasons why I should do it.  But now I am coming up with all these stupid reasons to not do it.  Like, I won't be able to do a cartwheel.  Or what if I wake up and a cure for UC was found while I was in surgery?  I am married but what if something happens to my husband and I have to start dating again and then that would mean I would have to do other stuff (you know...) then how on earth would I deal with that???  See just stupid stuff.  I think what happened was, I just found a bunch of my old friends, from pre UC days on a website and now I am all nostalgic and missing that time of my life, before my body was ruined by years of sickness and steriods and having a baby didnt' help the look either, lol. 

Ok, now if everyone could please say, it's ok and some other encouraging words that would be super great!   

(You guys are really nice and have always been very helpful to me and I appreciate that)

Thank you, that was the kind of thing I needed to hear, lol. I am so excited about the eating and drinking thing, after the operation they will probably say to me,w ould you like some juice? And I will be able to say YES without being very very sick afterwards. The thing about the cure is weird I know and I have heard other people say that they thought the same thing, but I also thought, or I could wait the next 50 years and they never find one. Thanks again!

I am right there with you Cattieos! My surgery for a temporary ileostomy is scheduled for April 20th. I have Crohn's disease, not colitis, so for me there is more chance that the disease will just spread to my small intestine (for now it is centralized in the lower end, the very, very lower end!). I have been running over the pros and cons so much since I first met with the surgeon, but I am still convinced it is the right thing to do. Most doctors do not want to recommend a surgery, until they see it as the best and only solution. Trust your doctors. Trust your instincts. Trust all the other people on this board who swear how much the surgery helped them.

For me, I am recently single again, and now I am faced with having to explain to any future girl I meet about my situation. That part is frustrating to me, but I know that the girl I want to be with will need to be understanding about Crohn's disease, regardless if I have an ostomy or not. If she isn't, what do I want to be with her for anyway, right?

As for a cure, they are still making incredible progress, but I don't think your doctor would want to go ahead with surgery if he didn't feel it was necessary.

Me personally, I plan on being cured one day, I just wish they would hurry the hell up!

for now I take Humira, which is the newest FDA approved treatment for moderate to advanced Crohn's disease. It still is not enough to keep my symptoms in check.

I am also waiting to get in a trial for new stem cell therapy. Doctors inject stem cells into your blood, and the stem cells find the damaged tissues, and begin to repair the tissue to pre-disease condition. That sounds cool to me, how about you.

But the way I see it is, if I don't let them do this surgery now, I may not be around for that trial. Now that would be the real bummer.

I think the choice should go like this, do I want to feel better and more in control of my life and my body? yes. Then, good, there is no question whether I am going ahead with the surgery.

Keep it simple. Happy or sad? I choose happy, and I am taking all the people on this message board's word for it. I will feel better, darnit! So will you.

Buddhist Quote of the day:

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened - Happiness never decreases by being shared - Buddha

Talk to ya'll later......

wish me luck, I have a date tonight. I hate to say it, don't want to offend anyone, but it will probably be my last chance to before my surgery!

catt.   I remember having all those crazy thoughts and a few more.  I kept thinking they will find a cure. I had my surgery in 1988.  I am still waiting    My dreams of being a bikini model just didn't happen( as if!! ).  I think it was just the old panic rat got out chewed on my sensibilities.  All the what if's of life came knocking at my door.  At the time I was only 19 and well scared crapless.  I then realized that I was not in school,(because of crohn's) I could not work, I was passing out, I was pooping in my pants.   Life did not look so great.  Since then I went back to school, became a nurse, and am now an educational assistant.( summers off) I also have two beautiful boys 11 and 8. People often ask about my decision to have the surgery. I alway tell them that I didn't chose surgery, I chose to have a life. I can do anything I want to do with my life and so can you.  BEST OF LUCK 

Cattieos, thanks! The date went well, and surgery is coming in about ten days. Hope you feel better soon too!

Any type of surgery is a scary thing and it's normal to have doubts. I had my surgery about 1.5 years ago and had the same thoughts about 'what if'. Let me tell you, when all is finished and you are up and about after surgery you will feel so much better. No more UC pains and sickness, no more meds.

If you change your appliances regularly there will be no smells, just when you empty it but everyones BM stinks!!! Leaks can be a problem but with the proper help from the nurses you'll soon learn what system works best for you. Get as many samples of products as you can and try them all to see what works best for you.

Try to keep yourself busy until the surgery and time will fly by. I filled my time doing all the things that I knew I wouldn't be able to do for a while after the surgery (baking, major cleaning of the house, taking care of little things that we'd let slide, etc)

best of luck!