Dear Ash83:
I have a lot of the same feelings you described. I, like badbaggirl, take ativan (lorazepam) when I need it. I had just about every torturous test in the hospital that they had, not to mention multiple surgeries. I think I too have some sort of post traumatic stress. The medicine really helps to take the edge off and allows me to function normally (and sleep!). You really need your rest and there is no shame in taking something that will help you relax when you are so stressed. I know insurance is an issue but can't you go to the ER? I believe they must treat you by law. In the hospital I went to the social worker at the hospital was very helpful regarding insurances etc. Do you think you can speak to the social worker at your hospital? I hope you feel better soon.
Richard