Tommorrrow is prep day, Thursday 5AM Hospital

and I am starting to loose control of some of my emotions.  Sleeping is a non starter for me right now.  My mind is racing with thoughts of last years 8 surgeries, and the pain I endured - and I am scared to death of the pain.

My poor MIL is on me about being the man of the house, and instead acting like a mouse and how her husband never complains about pain.  She says I am pushing it all on her daughter. 

I don't think I am doing that.  And I think it is normal to be scared about a major section of my body being removed - as well as the hospital itself.

I also had a horrible MRSA infection that nearly cost me my leg last year by amputation if they could not get it under control - and the doctor and ostomy nurse has said that hospital acquired MRSA is a potential danger in all hospital procedures these days.  That scars me to death again - and I think my MIL isn't "walking a mile in my/our shoes right now - God love her".

I also feel guilty as I told my wife I really don't want to see her or any friends at the hospital when I am recovering therer - only her.  Am I being petulant or selfish?  I just want to be on the other side of this and being a day away is making me not myself at all.

Again - I am sorry for the vent - I can't talk about this with a lot of other people.

With love for all here

bob

Hello Bob,

I don't know exactly what to say to make you feel more at ease over your upcoming surgery.  Yes, it will hurt.  Surgeries just do.  But in this case, no pain - no gain.  Once you get thru post-op and recovery at home, you should be rid of that awful, debilitating pain that you have with your disease.  Just keep in mind that once you heal, you are healed!!  You should just start looking forward to doing the things that you haven't been able to do with active disease.

I too think it is a good idea NOT to have a bunch of visitors at the hospital.  You will need your rest, and believe me, it is hard enough getting rest as it is with the nurses checking vitals at all hours, and doctors coming in at the crack of dawn.

One bad experience with MRSA would scare the bejesus out of me as well.  But we will be right here on this forum to get you thru all of your pre and post operation emotions.  Just keep talking with us....

Hi there Bob - I sometimes wander over on this forum, although I had a temporary ostomy long ago. I still find useful suggestions over here for my on going situation (diet, etc.). You'll all such a wonderful group over here!

That said my first surgery was extremely painful to recover from and I was in the hospital for 7 days. This is when I learned how people behave when they are not the person in the hospital bed. And when I realized we must become our own advocates.

Do not apologize for asking for no visitors. I had to ban everyone from my hospital room except my husband and my children (they were in Elem. school then, came to visit once). Well I did want one parent there, my dad, but he passed away 14 years prior to my cancer/surgery. Anyway, I had and still have an overbearing mother, who almost climbed into my bed, continuing to pet and paw my face, treating me as if I were at death's door. It was all TOO MUCH! I couldn't handle her intense attention. The woe is me attitude. A kind nurse turned off my phone, I could call out, couldn't receive calls into my room (this has probably all changed since everyone under the sun has cell phones now). She posted - do not disturb, ask for info at the nurse's desk - sign on my door. It worked. I had peace (after an onslaught of seemingly kind visitors).

I discovered that visitors will hang on and stay for very long periods - if you allow this. I also learned they will bring food and drinks into your room, if you allow this and eat in front of you. Even if you can't eat yet.

So in a wordy way, yes you have the absolute right to request what you will have and what you don't have. If you want visitors or not. Or if just your wife there. This is your right!

Be firm, nice but firm about it Bob.

And if you're in pain, don't feel you have to be brave but tell the nurses. That is what they are there for!

Wishing you my best......
(I should add that for my take down surgery, I told about 3 people, compared to about 30 the first time. One nurse said to me - aha, you snuck into the hospital didn't you, because my phone never rang! I didn't have flowers or anything on display, maybe a few pics my kids drew but for the most part I recovered quietly but I had to also intentionally tell people my takedown surgery was weeks away, when in fact it was only days away, but at that point I didn't care if they got their feelings hurt! The things you do learn when others mean well but become overbearing in the process, telling you how THEY would be recovering in that hospital bed, instead of you.....sigh.).

I can understand all of the anxiety you are experiencing. Vent here, we'll understand!

Again, good luck to you (and nice to officially meet you, but I have read posts from you before...I'm usually posting over on the IBS board).
Mary

Hi Bob--You're in my prayers. I, too, limited my visitors. In fact, I created a schedule for the first 4 days (and was luck enough to come home on the 5th) and made it clear that only my husband, dad, brother, and uncle were permitted (And I told them who was to come at which time) until the 4th day when I asked for my aunt and allowed my in-laws. My matron of honor, a nurse, came by (she asked) and that was it.

I don't want to impose my views on your situation but your MIL sounds like she is toxic to your condition. Is there a sister or brother in law, aunt-in-law or cousin who can step in and help keep her at bay and away from you for a while? I needed to limit my MIL and my sister. Both would have driven me off the deep end if they were present early on. They mean well but can be very inappropriate.

Your health is number one. As you have reassured me, I will reassure you--your anxiety is totally normal---especially given your history.

thank you again for helping me. I am sending positive and healthy vibes.

Bob,

You need to avoid your MIL for a little while. The things she says to you are so insensitive, and you don't need to listen to her mindless babble now or after surgery. Please make sure your wife tells her that there are NO VISITORS ALLOWED in the hospital.

Everything is going to be fine with your surgery. You have to believe that and go into it with a positive mindset. Good luck with your prep tomorrow. Just think, it's the last time you're ever going to have to do that!  

We're all thinking about you, I'm praying for you, and we'll be here for you when you get home from the hospital and can post on here again. The good news is, you will soon be disease-free!! Woo Hoo! 

up and taking a shower for the ride to the hospital...I am freaked but  the docs emails say I will sail through this...thank you all and see you on the other side.

bob

Hey Bob!  I imagine u are all through your surgery now and doing just fine!  I just want to add my good wishes to everyone else's.  Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.....Cheryl

And hopefully, you have a handle on your pain and are using your pain pump!  Take a deep breath...I always held my breath when I was in pain.  You can turn pretty blue if you don't breathe!  Looking forward to seeing your update...

Hey Bob,

I'm thinking about you and praying that everything has gone well so far!

bob...send good thoughts your way!