should I go?

Due to my very poor health and surgery, I've been away from teaching since mid January. I had expected to be back to school in early April but surgeon said not a good idea and it was truly unrealistic for me to go back. Even today, I couldn't make the stairs to my office. My students have a big final presentation/performance tomorrow--there are 90 students.

Even though my sub agrees that to be exposed to that many students and parents in a close space is like flirting with germs and could be very overwhelming emotionally, I am feeling awfully guilty for not going. I'm really struggling with this. If it were a big theater where I could sneak in an out and sit in the back, I'd go. But, again, it's a small space where you can see everyone.

I'm afraid of two things:

1--I will definitely be swarmed with hugs and questions from students and parents I've known for several years--people who have been very good to me and are genuinely concerned.

2--I know this will be an emotional challenge and in this small space, I don't want to have folks see me cry or get choked up as I'm bound to do.

thoughts?

My thought is you need someone to do crowd control. It sounds like it could be very physically and emotionally draining. Would seeing the students be worth it? Can you go and dash after? Good luck with the decision and your continued recovery.