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Posted 10/31/2010 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
I see that Bob's post have been "erased" and I cannot convey how upset I am at this! This man who we have all known for so long needed us so badly and HW has decided that , in their opinion, it never even happened. I think this it is so important for people to see the reality of the depression that some of us have and the need that we be there for each other. To sweep this under the rug is, in my opinion, an atrocity.

I am sorry for coming on so strong but I find this so upsetting. Does anyone else feel the same way or am I missing the reason for this forum.

Cathy
Posted 10/31/2010 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
In my opinion they are trying to cover for there selfs and the site. I think it shouldnt go un-noticed but what can we really do except wonder what happens next? it is possible that by making a bit of attention we ourself could get our threads erased or banned. until we stop bringing it up.

But i just dont know what comes next..
Posted 10/31/2010 4:54 AM (GMT 0)
I totally agree with you Cathy! If people with really serious, embarassing problems can't come to a forum such as this and speak from their heart, then where can they go? It doesn't do much good to talk to friends, family, etc. when they absolutely can't understand what some of us go thru. I just don't understand how Bob's post could be erased; like he never existed, never mattered? I still hope he is o.k. but one thing I know for sure; there are other's out there who feel just as desperate as him and need support! Maybe a moderator can speak on this topic. This is outrageous!


Gilda
Posted 10/31/2010 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
I would like someone from HW to explain to me why it is okay to talk about our stomas and J pouches and the "ins and outs" of surgery and not be able to talk about the emotional aspect of this disease. Are you trying to say that the emotional side is not just as serious? Or are you trying to pretend that it doesn't exist?....time to step out the dark ages!
Posted 10/31/2010 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
I am not your moderator, but I am a moderator, and I am disturbed and saddened to see these threads here.

I think it's important to remember that moderators are not able to make or change forum rules; we simply do our best to ensure that they are followed on the forums. And I am sure that Shaz, who, has done a lot to make this a warm and friendly and open and welcoming forum, would be saddened to think that there is some attempt to censor or shut down discussions here.

As I said, neither Shaz nor any other moderator is able to change forum rules, so I think that there is limited benefit in discussing your feelings about the rules here, on the open forums. I think your best bet would be to contact Peter, the site owner, at [email protected], and ask him to explain why we need to be so careful about having suicide-like discussions on the forum.

Shaz, I am sorry to step in to your forum, but people were upset and wanting rapid feedback... Feel free to delete this and add a post of your own if you like.

This is a very upsetting situation, and I can understand why you are as upset, distressed, and frustrated as you are. But I really am not sure that it is helpful to make multiple posts on this forum debating the forum rules: the moderators can't change the rules, and are likely to be as upset about Bob's situation as you are.

Anyway, sorry to intrude, but I hope this helps. Moderators do listen and care, but, in the end, we have to follow the forum rules, just like everyone else here.

Ivy.
Posted 10/31/2010 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
ps. Sorry, just saw that last post. Nobody is trying to deny the emotional impact of any disease. Please, contact Admin, and then he can explain in his own words.

Shaz, sorry again...
Posted 10/31/2010 5:35 AM (GMT 0)
I apologize....I know that I have come on pretty strong. I realize that the moderators are only doing their job. We are all pretty emotional tonight.
Posted 10/31/2010 5:46 AM (GMT 0)
Of course you are. This sort of thing happens on most of the HW forums every now and then, and every time it is so, so, upsetting. Though this time, of course, Bob has been here forever and is respected by so many HWers.

I'm glad you feel a little clearer about things now. This isn't my forum and I didn't like to intrude here, but it's really upsetting to see people so upset... especially when they think that their distress has been censored and that people don't care...

The moderators (and admin) know, and care, and appreciate how you feel. It's incredibly hard on us, too. One of the horrible things about online forums is that we can't reach out and touch the other person and intervene as directly and as personally as we'd like to...

:-(
Posted 10/31/2010 6:55 AM (GMT 0)
As I said in another post, sometimes, being a moderator sucks, but I have to follow the rules, it's part of the job. I don't make the rules, but I do have to follow them.

I care as much as anyone on this forum about Shrek and am very concerned about him, but under the rules, I couldn't allow the post to stay.

Shrek isn't forgotten, and I truly hope he's still here with us and will come back and post, but due to the content of the thread, I had no choice and I hope people understand that.
Posted 10/31/2010 8:33 AM (GMT 0)
To Collicat and the others on this thread, I understand why you are angry about the thread being deleted. I have only been on this board for a year or so but I know the OP was very well respected by all. Having said that, I did feel that the thread should have been deleted and I agree with HW's rule re: threats of suicide. When I read Shrek's original post about his abusive mother in law and his feelings of suicide I was as angry as everyone else and I was happy to see others support him. However, when he started to post saying he was actually overdosing as he typed, I felt that it was either a desperate cry for help by someone who was extremely psychologically vulnerable and or disturbed OR in fact it was a post by someone who was trying to commit suicide. Either way, it was distressing to all who read it and we could do nothing to help this man, so for me it became a totally voyeristic situation. This was not someone saying he felt suicidal and reaching out for hellp, but someone saying that they were committing suicide as they typed. I do believe all who have struggled with chronic illness have had deal with the mental and emotional impacts and for many that means suicidal thoughts and this could be a forum where others could share that this was normal and try to offer appropriate means for working through those thoughts. However, it's not appropriate, in my opinion, to "watch" someone (claim to) go through with it.
I know many will disagree, and I truly hope the OP is okay and getting the help he clearly needs.
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