Which of the 3 step surgery is most serious?

The construction of the pouch is the more sophisticated portion of the whole thing, but I still don't think I would go to a general surgeon for the colectomy if j-pouch is your final goal. The reason I say that is you want to make sure:

1) they do your ostomy in a way that is most advantageous to having the pouch built/attached later. If they take too much small intestine for some reason, you might not have enough left to get a pouch.

2) they know how to appropriately handle the rectal stump which is so important for the future surgeries.

I personally would like whoever is going to do the pouch to be the one to do the first surgery so that they set it all up the way they need it to be and they are familiar with the "lay of the land" so to speak from start to finish.

Have you called your surgeon's office back to discuss your concerns? I would let them know how sick you are and just ask them what they recommend you do if you get too sick to wait. See what they say.

I can understand your distress with your current situation but I would want the same surgeon throughout.  Definitely call his office and nurse and plead with them....I hope they can somehow get you an earlier date for the first surgery.

A lot of times surgeons do not like "picking up where someone else has left off" and your surgeon might not be receptive to this although I totally understand your reason for trying this route.

Good Luck.