Glad to hear you are doing well and almost ready to return to work already. I found that if I want to hurry things along I can stand up, bend at the waist like I'm picking something up. A few seconds in that position really speeds things up for me and I can empty right then. I can usually be done with everything, including my bidet rinse, in about
two minutes. I think it's a gravity thing. I'm sure you'll learn a little trick in time too. Some people cough. Everyone is different. I think this is why they don't send you home with a lot of information from the hospital because everyone's body responds differently. I've only called my surgeon's office once since my surgery because I feel like it's really hard to explain these kinds of things to anyone who hasn't gone through it personally.
Have you ever looked at Dennis' j-pouch videos on you tube? They are pretty helpful. I've only seen a few but he has a whole series of them. Just watched his one last week on j-pouch spasms. He did a great job of explaining the feelings I get from time to time. He calls them spasms but I don't think a name has been coined for these yet. Mine are never painful but they last about four seconds and can be annoying. But people talk about pressure, urgency, spasms, gas and it's hard to figure out if we are all talking about the same feeling or different things? This is kind of the confusing part. Whatever they are they have gotten better over time and I think they will continue to improve. Also, I have found that time of the month changes things a bit for me - more watery stools and spasms. It really is "a curse."
The gas should impove too. I drink 3-4 soft drinks a day and I rarely ever feel gas pains anymore. Sometimes I will hear the gas rumbling around but I can hit the restroom and it normally comes right out. Once in a blue moon I will feel gas around my shoulder area. Releasing gas is also part of the learning process. Some people have to do it on the toilet while others can do it sitting or lying down and some even standing up. But it can take a while to figure out how to do it without anything besides gas coming out. Don't know if you've mastered that yet