Posted 6/24/2011 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
I don't start a lot of subjects but thank you all for good ideas and caring hearts and some great laughs as I might be crying on the inside sometimes.
Life is much settled down since my surgeryin Aug.09. It seemed baby steps to recover. I wanted to get back to "normal" for so long and then I realized that life wasn't going to be the same. I did hope hope I could do another ironman someday though.
It took time to get my walking up to 6 miles, which was a distance I easily ran daily before. It took time to get my appliance to stay on more than 2-3 days. ( Costly to change so often) It took time to go out in public for any amount of time. (I sometimes I still panick about when it leak, and where, on an outing)
It took time to get in the swimming pool with the bulge on the side of my stomach.
It took time to get in front of a fitness class and have fun, (instead of secretly freaking out.) It took time to have my family understand my limitations with the many demands placed on me.
It took time to feel comfortable about my body, how it looked, moved and felt to me.
It took time to try another triathlon, not being so competitive about winning my age group.
So much to do and so little time.
I realized this week that time goes forward with out our help.
I realized as I did my third triathlon since the surgery (2 sprints and Just finished an Olympic distance last weekend) that I really was getting my life back and I might have some litmitations, but have not completely stopped having a great and healthy life. Silver lining is in clouds!!
I feel blessed and now think I do want to train for the 1/2 Ironman distance. Will possibly sign-up to race that distance in Sept. if all goes well. I was the oldest woman in my distance last Sat. I think, but I still went faster than some in my 50-59 age group. Got 3rd, A trophy and cried with so many emotions.
And who knows!! Maybe I will sign-up for the full Ironman distance again. I raced it very ill in Nov. 08 and could probably at least beat my own time if not a few others.
This is just a small part of who I am and what I do but it is a part that encourages me to look inside myself and reach for as much opportunity and joy and love and service as I can in life. Other development is not so easly rewarded or tracked as fitness goals, I guess that's why I do it. Keeps me from gaining a million pounds from liking cookies too!!
They say triathletes are crazy and that could be true to some extent but it's one of those things that helps me feel very a live, so I hope I can do it for awhile longer.
May we all have the hope that fuels successes and joy!! Thanks for letting me share this, I feel so grateful for finally having this ileostomy and finally appreciating this experience.