NEEDS HELP

First of all, I know how crazy the leaking can make you, I felt the same way. Like it's completely chaotic and ot of control and you can't connect to life anymore.
You will get it under control I just don't understand why doctors and nurses aren't being more accomodating.
People have leaks for differen reasons and sometimes a combination of them. You just need to calm down and figure out what's going on.
It sounds like you started having leaks when your stoma began to shrink. It starts shrinking at some point after leaving the hospital and will keep changing shape and size for maybe 8 weeks. Someone correct me if it's less. So maybe you are utting too big a hole? It needs to fit almost exactly around the stoma withut only about 2 mm of space in between. That space should be filled with an Eakin ring. I hope you can get them or that you can afford them. Do you have stoma nurse who comes? She needs to bring you some protective wipes and stoma powder, because you have to get your skin healed before the bag will stick properly. It really may not stay irritated
I was having leakages because my stool got so thick that it would stay on top of the stoma, not fall into the bag, and when more stool came out, the stuff had no where to go except sideways and between the seal and my skin. Between the 4th and 7th week after surgery, it could happen about 2-3 times a day. I was cmpletely freaked out.
Call the hospital and have a stoma nurse sent over. Call or write emails to hollister and coloplast and ask them to send you samples of bags (the ones that were working). They are free, and each company sent me about 10 bags. The nurse will help you figure out if you need a differen system.
It will get pbetter, I promise.

I had a similar problem last fall. It was a combination of my stoma shrinking after surgery and me gaining weight. I ended up seeing my stoma nurse and then she suggested me getting a convex wafer, and that really helped. You need to push to see a wound/ostomy care nurse. If you can't find one, your surgeon should be able to tell you how to get in touch with one. That is completely ridiculous that your surgeon is so casual about this.

     I am in total agreement with the above posts.   You need a GOOD ostomy nurse ASAP.  They should have assigned you one while you were in the hospital.  My ostomy nurse gave me his cell phone number and told me to call any time I have a problem. 

     What type of appliance are you using?  They gave me Hollister in the hospital but I had a problem with two of them bursting.  I switched to the Coloplast Sensura one piece.  My ostomy nurse recommended them and I love them!  For a few months after surgery I did have some skin irritation under the wafer.  My surgeon suggested I leave the wafer on a week if possible.  I just rinse my bag out with water, while still attached, and place about a capful of 3% hydrogen peroxide into it and that sure helps alleviate the odor.  Since my skin has long since healed, I change the appliance twice a week.

     Things will get better.  It took me about six months to feel like myself.  about a month post op (I have a permanent ileostomy and my surgeon left the anus opened but the rectum and colon are removed), I developed a hematoma inside the anus.  The surgeon had to drain it at my first post op office visit !  Talk about pain...yikes!  Then I was on a regimen of antibiotics.  A few weeks after that, I was hospitalized for dehydration.  It's been rough but it DOES get better.  My surgery was June 28th, 2010.  The surgeon told me that in one year I would feel like a new woman....and I thought....ugh..one year?  But here it is, and he was right.  I'll keep  you in my prayers.