HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

off topic

Support Forums
>
Ostomies
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 9/21/2011 1:05 PM (GMT 0)
hi all, i hope it's ok for me asking this question on here, but i want to get as many ideas and as much info about the decision i have to make.

i've been struggeling with colonic inertia from the age of 20 to 36 (till i had the colectomy at 36) and this condition has totally controled my life and prevented me from moving on. i worked as a secretary for many years till i had a course for bookkeeping and started working as a bookkeeper. but right then was the time when my condition got really bad and i realized i couldn't go on working full time. for a whole year i couldn'd find a part time job as a bookkeeper, and to be also in the after noons (cuz i needed many hours every morning in the b/r), so for lack of any other option, i then compromised on a typing job and worked at the same place as a typist for 7 years till my colectomy and 1 more year till my ileo op.

i never liked being a typist (sooooo boring redface ) and always dreamed about studding something better, but b/w 5-6 hours in the morning in the b/r and then work, plus feeling so sick all the time, i wasnt really able to go to school. anyways. now after my ileo op i quit my typing job and now with the stoma i have disability, so i can use it for going to study something, cuz really the 17 yrs of being sick and in pain and bound to the b/r really prevented me from moving foreward in my life, and now i feel so good and free from the b/r so i'm hoping to start new. i'm 38 yro and the idea is not to go for a degree right now, but to find something simpler and more practicle so i can start working and earning my own money etc. actually i'm very insecure about my ability to study right now. i have really hard time consentrating on studying and i don't know if i make it, but i want to try. the social security social worker believes in me that i can. i hope so  

so among the options i have are: photography, real estate, insurance clerk, human resources clerk, optics and dental assistant. i'm contemplating b/w optics and a dental assistant, but...... i'm having real hard time deciding which one to choose confused   rolleyes   what do you all think?? which do you think is preferable and why? what would be the considerations you would do and what kind of considerations? i'm supposed to meat with the social worker on this coming sunday and decide on the plan for me. but really wanted to have your guys opinion.

so i'm sorry it turned out so loooong... thanks for your thoughts and advice :-)

Posted 9/21/2011 1:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Hodaya,
I'm like you trying to decide what to do with my life and find a job thats easy on my body. I am currently doing childcare but that has its moments where its a worry being around the kids as they coming running into you and having to pick up little ones for cuddles which I do love but my body just can't cope anymore and especially now that I also have RA. Either of those jobs you are thinking about would be good they should both be reasonably easy on your body and interesting work, so I guess it depends on whether you want to look at eyes or teeth all day lol, Sorry I'm not a great help for you but you really can't go wrong with either of those career choices. Is social security going to help set you up in a position? I have no doubt you can do anything you set your mind to so good luck and let me know what you end up choosing, you will inspire me to get moving on a new career for me too :-)
Take Care
Doreen
Posted 9/21/2011 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
lololol Ron you crack me up :D

thank you both!

Doreen, thanks so much for your support! you ARE helping! yes, social security are supposed to set me up in a position, which is another major plus. i hate it when i have hard time deciding on things.. :/ but you're right either one i choose is good.

i agree, childcare can def be hard and strainfull physically, and you must think about your health. what's RA? hope you're well. i will def keep you posted. thanks again to you both :)
Posted 9/21/2011 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
I agree that either career would be wonderful!

Have you prayed about it? :)
Posted 9/21/2011 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
RA = Rheumatoid Arthritis, which is an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in the joints. My dad and brother have it. sad
Posted 9/21/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Which pays more? If you like them both equally, that would decide for me!
Posted 9/22/2011 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
I think optics would be more fun. People are nervous going to the dentist and there's more pain. I think eyes are fascinating, teeth less so..... although you'd be doing important work either way.... of course, that's me.... great that you're moving on, hope you find something you enjoy.
Posted 9/22/2011 1:02 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Hodaya,

Good for you. I would also vote for optics. Rosemary
Posted 9/22/2011 11:01 AM (GMT 0)
thank you all :)

Cece, you've made a most important point, have i prayed for it. the answer is yes i did, but not enough for my liking (or his too ;) thanks for explaining RA. i know, it's a horrible disease :( my best friend has it and it's aweful. i'm so sorry Doreen.

Stephanie, i thought about that too. from what i searched on the net, it seems optics pays signifecantly more, like few thousands more.. but i'm not sure about this info.

thanks blue and Rosemary. it's so hard to decide............... still lol
Posted 9/22/2011 12:03 PM (GMT 0)
you know, i thought about the disability issue and it's kind of ironic..... i mean talking about ability, for so many years my bowels problem limited my life so significantly that i really wasn't able do much and i didn't have disability from social security. and now.. now the stoma has actually set me free and i feel i'm able to do anything i want, but having a stoma is considered to be a disability.... isn't it funny?
Posted 9/22/2011 12:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Hodaya

 

how great you can now turn your life around career wise.. so pleased.. smilewinkgrin

 

I would say go for what you are actually drawn to do....which is most appealing, where do you feel you have the most potential or have any experience? etc.... Can you  imagine yourself in that role? (sorry if this sounds obvious).

 

It is really a personal decsision ... both are face to face services... sounds like you are a people person.  I hope you get on well. (personally i like photography - but i am arty !! tongue )

 

much love k xx

Posted 9/22/2011 12:17 PM (GMT 0)
my dear friend Karen!!!! miss you so much! how are you doing??

thanks so much! well.. i'm actually most drawn to medicine and WISH i could go to med school, but now it's kinda too late and i tend to turn to paramedical proffetions, as close to medicine as it is. your points are great and important, not obvious at all. thanks so much xoxo i will let you all know what i finally decide.
Posted 9/22/2011 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hodaya,

I am so happy that you are finally able to move on with your life!  I am so proud of you.  I am sure whatever you decide will make you happy, and that you will succeed!

Kyle (((Hugs)))) blush

Posted 9/22/2011 1:18 PM (GMT 0)
thanks so much sweet Kyle! your support means to me more than you know! much love and hugs!! ♥
Posted 9/22/2011 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
HOdaya i had a gastric emptying test a while back and i go for my results tomorrow and to see what the future holds for me - i am tending towards going back to the bag as there is something not right with me albeit i dont know what it is - all i know is that i had a normal life w/o pain etc with the bag. I am really scared for the future right now having to make a big decision to have surgery again sad  

 will update you and i miss you too!!! take care x

Posted 9/22/2011 2:01 PM (GMT 0)
It's seems like dental hygeniests and assistants are always in demand and they get paid really well. I think this recession has made a lot of people rethink their career paths. If I was going to college now instead of in the 1990s like I did I definitely wouldn't have pursued journalism and political science. But it is important that you enjoy your job. The trick is to finding a job you enjoy that is actually in demand and will continue to be in demand no matter what the economy does.
Posted 9/22/2011 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, your journey has been a long one and i wish for you to already be at the end of it. you didn't have the chance to experience how it is w/o the bag and spent 1.5 yrs with the bag before having that chance. certainly anyone in your shoes would want to give it a chance and see how it works w/o the bag. i know i def would. i'm so sorry things turned out the way the did for you and all this time, still on your journey. but surely all this process you had to go through was inevitable.

i know exactly how you're feeling about having more surgery... but only creating an ileostomy is relatively a simple procedure. my ileo op took only 20 mins and the recovery wasn't neerly as hard as the one after the colectomy. will it be a loop or an end ileo for you this time?

i assume they are not going to remove the rectum (?) i don't recommend you do, removing the rectum is a huge surgery, just like a colectomy and even more, cuz it's in the pelvic, which is the most sensitive area with lots of nerves ends. it's also so close to the vagina and bladder and since those are such delicate areas of the body, the complications can be hard. at some point i really wanted to have my rectum removed, but now i don't. it's too complicated and riskey, and since it's not diseased, then better not mess with it. i can't expel the mucous from the rectum on my own and it can build up in there for a whole year, if i don't do an enema, it won't come out. but i manage with enemas (once a month is enough for me) and will not go for another major surgery of removing the rectum.

hope your test turns ok and you can move on with your decision. i think you're making the right one. you need to move on and forget about all this, you need to get your life back again and this time once and for all! and pls do update me! thinking of you ♥♥
Posted 9/22/2011 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
thanks scrap girl. you're right, having to go through a medical condition, dealing with it for so many years and drs not giving you answers, made me go and investigate it my self, cuz if i wanted any progress with getting the right treatment, i had to work on it my self, cuz from my experience with drs, they didn't care. but the more i learned about my condition and others on here, the more i developed a passion to the medicine world. it's truly the most interesting and intriguing field in my view now and exciting too.

i'm 38 and in order to be accepted to med school i'll have to work REAL hard on imroving my highschool diploma first, cuz my grades are not high enough, and only then, if i succeed, i'll be able to go to med school.... it's not realistic or practicle for me to do now :/ but if i were in my 20's now, i would have seriously consider pursueing med school. right now i need something to start with and within a reasonable period of time, cuz i also need to make a living and fast. maybe after this course, who knows, the sky is the limit and even if i get a dr degree at 50-60 yro, why not haha :D

thanks so much for your thoughts. every opinion helps so much more :) and after all that's been said, with my insecurity of succeeding in school, i may not go anywhere anyway...... just kidding :p
Posted 9/22/2011 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hodaya,

Not sure if it's the same in Israel but what about Physician's Assistant or Nursing school? In the US, nurses get paid tons of money and there are all different levels of programs, so you can keep going to school to move up, while you're working and making good money.

Just a thought..... probably you've thought of it too.
Posted 9/23/2011 7:07 AM (GMT 0)
thanks blueglass. not sure what Physician's Assistant is. nursing tho was the first thing i really wanted, but again, the demands to be accepted are also really high and i'll have to improve my highschool grades in order to be accepted - nursing is studying at the univesity and it's a degree. unfortunately the secial worker told me they won't invest in that for me at my age. they are willing only to invest in me in something practicle to give me the option to earn a proffesion within a reasonable period of time to enable me to engage in this proffesion. improving my highschool grades + nursing schoold (3-4 years) will take me at least 4-5 years. they won't do it.

he said after i gain a proffesion and earn enough money, i can go through this process on my own, but not through them :( oh well.
Posted 9/23/2011 12:28 PM (GMT 0)
In the US there's something called a Licensed Practical Nurse, LPN, that's only a year or so of studies. You can still make a decent amount of money that way...... then if you want to go back and get an RN, which is the full degree, you'd have the $$ to do so.... but here there's a nursing shortage and I don't know if it works the same way there, presumable if it did they would have told you.....

Physicians Assistant is kind of like a nurse practitioner, but a different path.... it's a graduate program, I think, so more school than a regular nurse.

Sounds like you can take the next step, whatever it is, get stable for a while, and then think of what comes next..... my partner went back to school in her late 40s..... people do it all the time here....
Posted 9/23/2011 1:35 PM (GMT 0)
i know. it's never too late. up untill about a year or two ago we did have here not academic courses for nursing, but they stopped that. these courses don't exist anymore and nursing school is only academic studdying now. there are nurses who went through that non academic route who still work in hospitals and from what i understand from other nurses, both academic nurses or non academic nurses practically do the same things and there's no difference b/w the two actually in real time at work. but i missed the train on that specific course. but that's ok :) cuz as you said, i can take the next step and i'm fine with that too.

and as continuation to our discussion on your surgery thread :) after all we both know that a man plans, God laughs, right....? lol i guess how ever things turn out, it's for the better, cuz he knows what's best for us.
Posted 9/23/2011 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hodaya

You are such a real encouragement and source of inspiration thank you so much i am so glad i have you to talk to.  yeah

I am not long back from seeing the consultant.  He has taken over from my other Professor who retired a few months back... He says he and the professor are from two different schools of thought and says he would not have removed my colon but just given me a bag and done with it (so i would not have had the reversal then i suppose? and would not have been in this position?).However that is besides the point. 

He did not give me a lot of hope - typically - and said having another stoma is very risky and i woudl have to have it on the other side may be because of scar tissue etc, and all he could say is there are no guarantees - so not a very enjoyalbe consult really.  He said he would do it but suggested i try irrigation first for three months then come back to him with a decision.  When i questioned wehther i may have outlet dysfunction he casually said " yes you probably have".  And when i said surely pple with outlet dyfunction should not have a reversal he just said there are two schools of thought with these types of problems in this profession so i didnt get an answer really.  i just feel fed up and frustrated and scared. Also he just dismissed the gastric emptying test i had as a waste of time (he had not even seen the results).  so the other consultant who asked for this test must have been an idiot. 

Hodaya i am glad you can sort yourself out once a month at least and that life is better for you as much as can be. 

I would love to come over to Israel and meet you when all this is sorted out.

love karen xx

 

Posted 9/24/2011 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hodaya,
 
long time since I've heard from you!

This is your most exciting time: you have the opportunity to start something new. Since some of the posts are talking about praying I want to tell you that it's not like a question and answer relationship. And you know I'm talking about the same thing you're talking about.
I think this is what a great rabbi would say: These horrible illnesses, after they get resolved through surgery or some way, really are a second chance in life to choose, make decisions and give form to our selves and our lives. This is the task now: follow your heart! We are so lucky when we get into a life situation in which we are „forced“ to reflect on what we really want. Use the chance! I don't think that means picking a professional area because it promises a certain salary or a salary higher than in another field; all you have to do is choose what your heart wants.
Before you consider what social services is going to pay for, think about what you've always dreamed of doing -realistically, of course, within you're own boundaries (you are probably not going to start a career as a ballerina at this point). Maybe you can find a way to learn a profession you've always wanted, even if it's not through social services. Maybe it is optics. Maybe you need to try it out first before you know if it's what you want.

And when you think about salaries, think about your goals in life and what you need money for.
I think the only real freedom we can have in life is to know what you want, and then set goals to reach. Once you get on the right track of what you truly want, that's when the doors open and things start becoming possible. That's how the question-answer thing works, but you have to do a lot before help comes.

I was pretty old (over 35) when I decided to do a masters and didn't know if I could, because I had never finished my first degree. All I knew was, I was pretty fed up with my job and needed intellectual challenge, had this really deep need to study and write and spend long hours in libraries and I wanted to finally have a real degree so that I could be considered for jobs I really truly wanted but coudn't get. I got accepted at a UK uni for a program, but it was all going to costs a heap, I mean tons, of money. I spent months looking for grants and any possiblity of getting money together. Going to this uni and getting the degree was ALL I wanted and I really felt I would find the money no matter how ridiculous that sounded next to ugly reality. After several months of spending all my spare time and energy looking for possibilities, I suddenly got an offer to translate a pile of screenplays (the worst, cheapest kinds of thrillers) in a very short time and for the amount of my total tuition plus a bit more. So I gave up some sleep for 6 weeks but so what. I earned the money, did the degree and it turned out to be one of the happiest times of my life. And from that moment on, when I knew what I wanted and did what I needed to do to get it, that's when doors starting opening.

So all I'm saying is, do everything you can to know what you want and get it. That's how „He“ answers!
Posted 9/24/2011 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
my dear Karen! oh i would be THRILLED to meet you one day!!! it will be a most exciting thing for me! you've been such a huge sorce of support and encouragement to me for so long now and helped me so much through my hardest time. i can never forget you!! meeting with you or the rest of the gang should be overwhelming! so as it was meeting Rosemary :)

i'm not sure if leaving the colon in is a good idea, cuz then the whole colon produces lots of mucous. if it is naturally and regulary expelled with no problems, then maybe it's ok, but if it was done to me, for instance, it would have made me miserable, cuz i wouldn't have been able to expel the mucous on my own and having all my colon, that would have made A LOT more mucous than just my rectum. Rosemary has all of her colon (most of it, except for the resection she had), still in and have an ileostomy. she goes 2-3 a year to have the mucous sucked out.

this is such a bummer prof Williams had to retire just when you need him.... i don't like the way this new consultant sounds like at all! :/ he sounds so arogant, like most drs. can you go for a second opinion? maybe post a new topic for recommendations for colo-rectal surgeons in the UK? there are quit a bit ppl here from the UK. maybe you can find someone else who'd at least be not only a better dr but also nicer. a lot of them are so casual about functional disorders, like it's not something to give to much atten to, even tho it can ruin you life. i don't like this dr at all!

i thought getting the stoma back will be no problem for you. i had no idea about all the things this new dr said. i wish you could get a second opinion. i want things to work out for you and soon!!! love and hugs hon!! and i love talking to you too!!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12