Byebye I know the weeping is totall normal, I'm just not doing it. Not yet
Bluegrass, thanks so much you re always there with the insight!
So now I'm down to six nights (go to sleep, wake up, go to sleep, etc., six more times) and all I can think about is how much I hate my colleague for being such an unreliable a# #h### and saying he would do several things last week and not telling me he didn't tell him and then trying to change the subject when I ask and then finally telling me it's not his priority (which I already know but he should have told me these things were not done.) Have to get through Monday and Tuesday with him, really intense meetings with other people and him.
Anyway, making lists of everything I have to do and buy tomorrow, somehow, go to a wine-drinking kind of thing and then manage to do stuff like drill holes in the wall for screws, order wood to be cut to make shelves out of a niche in the walland go to another thing at 7, this is all off-topic, but I also have to drop off some pictures to get put behind glass, just so I'll know my hope will be a better place to come back to.
The surgeon told me to reckon with 2 weeks in the hospital and when I said "what?" he said, "well it's a lot better than the way they do it in the states, where they throw you out after a couple of days, and here we keep you until we can rule out any possible complication....." I'm glad about that, I'm just worried about what happened during my collectomy, when I shared the room with one completely insane woman and then a second completely insane woman right after the first one left. (By insane I mean: wanted to used all my stuff, pointed at my bag and said "youre too young for that', took over the care of the flowers friends had brought and generally went over every boundary known to to the hospital room sharing context. Then the next one *****ed at her son about how horrible I am because I didn't feel like talking to her late at night and she wouldn't accept that I was completely traumatized and had to take care of myself. I think if I get stuck with someone like that again I'll have to say something very severe.