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Cooking for friends with cancer....

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Posted 1/30/2012 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
It's been a pretty rough few weeks for my partner. Three of her long time friends who have cancer took turns for the worse. One has stopped treatment and brought in hospice. Another is close to that point. The third dodged a bullet, finding out that her breast cancer did not in fact spread to her lungs as feared, so she is relieved to only need a mastectomy on Wed.

We are bringing food to two of the three of them this week, so I've been cooking this afternoon. And thinking about how the roles have switched, now I get to be the one feeling helpless, but trying to do something to make things just a bit easier for them. All of these folks have gone out of their way to be there for me, as they were able, during my illness, surgery, and recovery -- they are the ones who get it....

It feels good to be able to help, though.... to remember that yes, I do this too, as I am able ....just haven't been able. I'm not always the patient...

I guess this is a bit OT, but I just wanted to write.... even when things are so much better, life is never just easy....
Posted 1/30/2012 9:02 PM (GMT 0)
I do not think it's OT at all. That would be like saying we are only allowed to post from the perspective of the patient. Healing is about all kinds of things.
BTW, in our religion, you don't pray for your own recovery, you pray for someone else's recovery, perhaps someone who has the same illness, and other people pray for you.

On the humorous side, don't bring anyone soup. Or at least bring them soup and 2 other kinds of things. On 3 occasions, friends came over and cooked me a big pot of soup, which I then had to eat for 3 or even 4 days. It was so boring after the 2nd day, I knew it was like internalizing their friendship but I really wished for other things to eat. Do not make your friends eat the same thing for more than 2 days!
Posted 1/30/2012 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
I think that's lovely.. not OT at all. You are a truly lovely person and ALWAYS know the right thing to say and in such an articulate and thoughtful way. It must feel good now to be able to help your friends and am sure they will appreciate it and be grateful for your love and support. It's nice to be able to give back when people have done so much for us.

I hope you're making cake! ;-)
Posted 1/30/2012 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks.... well I was making something kind of unusual.... kofta -- it's Turkish. We get it sometimes from some specialty stores nearby, but it's really expensive, although made of not so expensive ingredients. This is the second time I've made it -- came out much better than the first. They are red lentil/cracked wheat patties, with some spices in them. I was planning to make them anyways before this cooking came up, and they make a large quantity and my partner thought one of her sick friends might be able to eat them as they kind of a soft mild comfort food (food is more for the rest of the families....). We haven't figured out what else to bring w/the kofta, so suggestions welcome.

Tasty and fun to make (and full of things I wasn't eating before surgery....)

I wanted to bake (I was thinking mandel bread, which is a kind of cookie my grandmother used to make) .... but that got nixed as too many people are on diets.... I also thought of making a lasagna....

Sigh, I wish it was about the food.... I don't think the really sick folks are eating much at all now....

B'Dereh the rabbi in the hospital told me that you can chant that "El na refa na lah" -- Moses prayer re Miriam, "Oh God heal her now" for yourself, even if you're male.... he chanted it for me a few times and it was haunting (then my partner made a cd w/a whole bunch of versions)... but that's interesting.

Sorry about the soup.

Sarah, I think you have me on a pedestal, but I appreciate it! Thanks....

Makes me want to make cake....
Posted 2/1/2012 12:38 AM (GMT 0)
Just got back from a visit .... hard, but good. Weirdest for me was seeing the little commode in the room -- I always had one of those when I was in the hospital before surgery, such an odd thought: I'm better now, don't need one of those.... hospital bed, oxygen tanks, lots of drugs, etc.... but she still mostly seemed herself. Could be days, weeks, or longer...

Food was well received.... we got some hummus and pita to go with it.... they were glad for something different (perhaps, not soup?). Their 23 year old son is staying there now, so lots of food is being eaten in the house...
Posted 2/1/2012 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
You are doing all that a person can, providing food and comfort. I know it's hard, but as long as the friend is able to eat and appreciating the food, it's the best it can be right now.
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