First night at home!

Fantastic! Congratulations, it's been a long haul but like you say, 4 months in 15 years kind of puts it in perspective. However, for me, there's nothing like home.

As for recliners, look at LaZBoy. They make some very nice recliners that look like normal chairs. You can choose fabrics and colors too.

If you trip to CA gets you to Santa Barbara, let me know, we could do lunch!

Sue

Bluegrass,

I just might be there on business the second week of July. Will keep you posted.

Sue

So glad you were able to spend some time at home and now feel a little more comfortable making plans. I know it's been a long slow journey for you.

I did get some cleaning help after the last surgery -- it worked out well, my downstairs neighbor was looking for odd jobs and it was very win-win. Could do that again.... but the main problem is clutter not dirt -- sorting through stuff that I have to do myself. Kind of the result of years of being overwhelmed, mixed in with not being naturally neat. I got a pretty good start on it all before the last surgery, but for example, one thing I was doing was taking all my CDs out of the cases and putting them in notebooks, so they would take up less space. Well, I was in the middle of that project, i.e. they were all over the rug in one room, when I found out I needed surgery, and there was so little time and so much to do, that I just left them..... for 4 1/2 months.... sigh. And I certainly can't do the job on the floor now -- but I did make everything a whole lot neater.

I find myself just wanting calm -- days with less rushing, a home with less clutter, more routine, less scrambling. Some of this predates my illness, but it all got so much worse w/years of being sick and all that push, push, push.... but it all feels possible. Will take some time, but I still have sabbatical left.

Even though I was sick a lot when I was at home, yesterday and today somehow made me feel healthier. I'm back at my partners and fine w/being here.... we could live together, kind of hope we do some day, but as something we do as a nice new step, not because I'm too sick to be by myself.... it is very difficult when I'm working, though; it's not easy to get to work from here. Tricky business when middle aged people w/homes, jobs, kids, etc get together....

I'm glad to hear your feeling healthier the last couple of days being home. You have gone through such a journey with your health, wanting calm is exactly what you deserve. I live in a 2 dwelling home. My deceased father lived upstairs. He passed 2 months prior to my colectomy. Well, almost everything in his dwelling is exactly the same. Then there's the basement, mixture of both our belongings. I have such a task of sorting through everything, selling or giving the rest to family members. I want to declutter, projects everywhere, and want calm, through years of being overwhelmed with raising my kids, my fathers health, my own, work, etc. Wish you best of luck and if you get that cleaning person back, it would be helpful and motivational. When the time is right, and I'm sure you'll know it when it is, you can make that step in living together. Not because you need help but because the time is right to move forward...together! It is tricky, I wonder if I were to ever meet someone, how, could, would I move forward.

I'm in Chicago, would love to meet....keep me informed and we'll go from there!!!!!

Thanks everyone. Windy will keep you posted. Where are you in Chicago again? I grew up in Rogers Park/Skokie/Evanston, but my family is all over the place now.... my mom is in the Aurora area -- I don't know my way around there at all.

Any family who can help you with the clutter? I was on the bus one day and read over someone's shoulder this sentence, "clutter is stuck energy." That's not really how I talk, but it resonated.... just feels to me like some external manifestation of feeling perpetually overwhelmed and stuck....but it's hard to get rid of when you're still feeling that way. Good luck, know how hard it is....

I was just looking up freecycle, and I think I'll be doing that to help declutter. I saw some people near me who were looking for things I have.... seems faster than trying to sell and more responsible than just throwing out....

Jimmy, what kinds of things are you giving up for a simpler life? Maybe what used to seem boring doesn't seem so boring w/the kind of excitement we've had....

Plan is that I'll go home later in the week to get a new office chair and a new recliner delivered (turns out that the ones I liked the looks of were not the most practical ones.... I got a "wall hugger" that only moves forward.... I think it's ugly, but it's comfortable and a nice color and hopefully will grow on me). Then later in the long weekend. my partner will help me move most of my stuff back, and I'll be back and forth, half/half. I'm happy about it. This nurse/patient aspect of our relationship is getting old, and I think we need a bigger shift to get back to something that feels more adult and equal.

That's funny about the flowers. When I was home in my living room last week, I looked at a vase w/dried lavender in it.... I love lavender, but I just thought that that it so ugly, it was brown not purple, and just looked dead, even if it still smells nice when you rub it..... that will be one thing that goes to the compost pile. But maybe you just missed another dead energy thing that you can get rid of and find that wonderful relationship....

So are you in Roger's Park? We moved from their when I was 6, but it's right next to Evanston, so I used to go there a lot.

That must have been so stressful dealing with your father's passing right before your surgery. That's a lot, and you're good to be patient w/yourself.

My father's passing was stressful, he was hospitalized for 3 months in serious condition, I had to feed him his meals, and on top of it I should have been hospitalized because I had 3 diverticulitis infections. Could barely walk, drive, think, associate with doctors for both my dad and myself. Thank god my surgeon called me nearly every week, he wanted surgery ASAP but I couldn't. That was frightening. But when he passed, not saying this in a bad way, I was ready to deal with me. I hid my illness from him, as I didn't want him to worry. Kids were off from school and surgery was scheduled. I was so optimistic surgery would go without a hitch, being as I just couldn't deal with anything anymore. How much can one person go through? Just didn't work out that way, was fighting for my life, even had to call my children and friends and tell them goodbye, was told I wouldn't make it through surgery. When I came home, the LAST thing I wanted to do was clean my parents apartment/basement. I just wanted my life back, body back, feel alive again. My recovery and moving forward made things so emotionally hard because I didn't want to deal with the past....that's why I haven't done much. But to feel completely alive, I have to deal with it and free myself from their belongings and really move forward to the next stage. Prior to surgery, I was petitioning my marital annulment from the archdiocese. Another task. I've been so happy in my recovery, going back to that deep dark past...feels like what you said before regarding putting the key in the door to your abusive home (for me it was the garage door opener). Now, it's opening that door and walking through the past...but this time to free myself.

I cringe to admit...regarding the dried flowers and maybe something is left over....OMG its my wedding bouquet under my bed! It's the only thing I have down there. Think I need to bury it in the morning's garbage, along with a prayer for a new beginning.

Yes, I live in Rogers Park. I'm more south west than you were on the Evanston border.

Allblue, yes, you switch from brown to red/blue line over at the addison stop(wrigley field). What made you move to deep in the heart of Texas???