Not really off topic but not specifically about my pouch or stoma (long post)

I've had three surgeries in the last 15 months and am just into my fourth month post takedown. I have worked steadily since the colectomy in April 2011 and only taken time off for the two following surgeries. Nobody where I work considered any of that for one second and therefore never thougth twice about dumping me with stress or even making requests for things to be read and written even while I was home convalescing. Oh not to mention that while I was home just after the takedown, I found out I'd been fired. Not in the usual way. The executive director refused to sign the extension of my contract without any reason, and then waited 10 weeks after my boss submitted an appeal (which we had spent days writing) refused again, this time citing a coversation with another director who thinks everyone is stupid and not doing their job. There was a third person who could have been consulted, but was not consulted, because he thinks I am great. My boss does not understnad why this is happening and no one can do anything about it. I got a six month contract, „so the poor thing can find another job“ and will be paid until the end of November. I even get screwed out of the Xmas check – a whole month's salary“ that everyone else gets who worked in 2012, because I will not have worked in December.

I am working in home office this monday and tuesday and am completely on vacation on wednesday. I spend the rest of the week doing stuff for my apartment, stuff that needs a drill and a paintbrush. On the 31^st I fly to Paris and will come back on the 31^st of August. I am bringing to novel manuscripts will me and am going to write like hellfire, walk through the city a bit, and do little trips on the weekends.

This is my first real vacation in years and I spend the last days pushing to get a certain publication through and to the printer before I leave, one that had been previously blocked by the same person who guillotined me and my boss who was probably too scared of him to make a move on it. I took the camera out and took the photos that we couldn't get from all of the work of the professional photographers, and did indeed come up with a very beautiful, warm and inviting cover photo. I kicked the ass of my colleauge Mr. Bluff Know-Nada from planet Phony-Fake to edit the translation of the text, which of course triggered change requests from my boss (which Bluff has to spend the weekend doing) and made a date to go to the printer on Tuesday. The printer has been a terrific friend all this time. All this final stuff has to go to the graphics person on Monday morning and they have to get me a pdf data that goes to the printer. I am talking about an 8-page flyer. That's all. Not a book.

Then I'm on vacation. I am hoping this will help me decide whether to actually look for a job when I return, or if I should just spend the 3 months of my contract creating the larger brochure I discussed with my boss (which is going to be 50 pages and so the stress and opposition will be magnified that much more, letting the contract end, and going passively on unemployment for 6-9 months so that I can continue finishing two novels. (Andd then what?) This is a very frightening moment but I feel how all the roads in my life brought me here. Having had UC figures in there somewhere. Illness is biography and if you have an illness, then your biography is your illness. Putting away my colon in this long process was about putting an end to living a life that wasn't the one I wanted, the ill life, so that I can look at what I want without an element that holds me back, without the part that can attack and sabotage me, the part that is vulnerable. At least I am trying to process things that way and see what I come up with.

Boy it sounds like you really need a vacation! So glad you're getting one, and I hope like Cece says, you can focus on yourself and maybe even get excited about what might come next.

Much smaller situation, and will omit the details, but my dean called me up not to say that I'd been through so much and how could she help my transition back to full time work, but rather to say that they wanted to heap a lot of extra work on me because I hadn't been on any committees when I was sick.... I had to write up all kinds of documentation of what I'd been doing and why it was a lot of work, and ultimately I won, but I felt so resentful. I got mostly over it by connecting w/the people who do know my work and also by realizing that it really wasn't personal -- she was trying to cut the budget, she has her own limitations, etc.

When I went to a stress reduction program a few years ago, at the intake interview I talked about feeling unappreciated at work, and the woman doing the interview said that everyone she sees w/a job says that.... she said that maybe we need to focus on increasing the amount of appreciation at work, i.e. how we are appreciating others (I know this dean doesn't feel appreciated either, for ex.)

Not that that's relevant to your current situation, but hopefully in whatever comes next there will be things that you can really appreciate and you can bring that. For now, I hope you can appreciate your vacation and also your own story. Your biography is not only your illness -- it's also the parts of yourself that continued, no matter what was going on w/your health, and it's also how you dealt with your illness -- your bravery, desire to help others, strength, and then also maybe the less admirable things too.

This is a "liminal" time for you, where you are reconstructing your identity and the shape of your life after years of being sick. It's not easy, but it's very important..... and not so much about your dreadful co workers (and I loved "Mr. Bluff Know-Nada from planet Phony-Fake" -- constructing a phrase like that is you coming through, not about illness...)

Hang in and have some fun. You'll figure out what to do next.

I think you'll be alright, really I do.... I keep thinking of bad situations w/housing and relationships where it felt like the world was ending when I had to move on, but later I was so grateful to have done so....

Glad that some folks are being decent.

Not sure we get to choose when we go through our existential upheavals.... I mean, who chose IBD?

I do a lot of administrative work, and someone told me that the better you do it, the more invisible it is. Well, me going on sick leave for a semester and then sabbatical for a year, has sure made my admin work visible to those who had to step in for me. A lot of things have gone wrong (no one ever says, "Great job scheduling the courses, there were no conflicts" until they try to do it themselves and realize how many conflicts come up). So, ultimately, that part will be good for me....

Have a great trip!

Are you OK w/dairy? Eggs, cheese, and yogurt are high protein, low fiber. Tofu too. Can you eat nuts? Ground as peanut butter, almond butter etc? Right now I am enjoying smoothies made w/soy milk (or another fake milk -- I don't do well w/real milk), frozen banana, peanut butter, and some cocoa. Lot of protein, sits pretty well, very summery.

I was vegetarian for 25 years before I started eating fish because my ibd made me unable to eat so many things.... now I'm back being veggie....

Greek yogurt certainly has the higher protein values and seems to have a longer lasting "satisfying" effect.

I also like the Slimfast chocolate powdered mix when mixed with 8 oz. of skim milk will give you 15 grams of protein...put it with some ice in the magic bullet and some fruit if you like to have it more like a frappe consistency instead of just shaking it up.

Trying to get hubby to consume these instead of the junky stuff he prefers and puts on the weight...lol.