I would also suggest a 2nd or even a 3rd opinion since you really want a j-pouch. And, as others have honed in on--make sure it is someone very experienced with the procedure. How to go about that, I am not so sure, but you got some good advice from the others. You need piece of mind in knowing that you have done all you can before removing everything and having a permanent ileostomy.
Since I have Crohn's, I was never a candidate, and welcomed the freedom I got with my permanent ileostomy. However, I feel for those of you who want the j-pouch, but fear complications. If I had been able to have a j-pouch, I would have hands-down gone to Cleveland Clinic, as I am in Ohio.
Good luck and keep us posted.