HELP! First time changing bag at home

Husband is finally home from the hospital friday. The ET home nurse was suppose to coming tomorrow to help us do our first change at home but we did it today, it needed it, today was day 4. It was peeling up and I could see the coloplast part in some spots.
It is very hard to get the setting right and I am afraid I did something wrong. First of all, his incision (which is still far from healed) is right next to the stoma. In the hospital we had been putting a strip of gauze down over the incision to keep the sticky tape part off of it. Well the first time I did it myself in the hospital it leaked! I think I got the gauze too far into the coloplast area and stool got on that and it wicked out. Now I am so scared it will happen again. Also now, his incision is draining (maybe infected- I have to call, its yellow, not green and doesnt look red or anything so maybe just part of healing?) so the sticky tape part of the wafer wont stick.
So my biggest worry of today is the shape and how we placed the appliance around the stoma. It is still very odd shaped, not quite round, not oval, sort of lumpy around the edge. So getting the cut out right is pretty tough. Well when I put it around the stoma (the stoma nurse said how important it was to make sure a tiny bit of skin is showing around the egde) there was part of it that felt like it was a little tight, the skin wasnt showing in this one spot. What would happen if its too tight in that spot? Leaking isnt too much of a worry in general, its leaking onto that incision that isnt healed yet that is giving me a heart attack. And that I could cause a problem because of the area that didnt have skin showing around the edge of the stoma.

I agree with Summerstorm. I was told a close fit was important to avoid having burnt skin. There will be plenty of leaks over the first free weeks so please do not take them too personally. We all go through it. I used a a saline spray to clean the wound after leaks and gently dried it with gauze and a hair dryer on low. The wafer adheres better to warm skin too!

I had a massive wound on my middle. I would dress the wound first and then cut my wafer to fit the stoma. THEN I would place the pouch over my stoma WITHOUT TAKING OFF THE ADHESIVE BACKING PROTECTOR and draw a line (or have someone help me draw a line) so that I could cut the excess off that would potentially interfere with my wound.

You have to be VERY careful when doing that so that you don't cut TOO far in and affect the seal around the stoma. I wish I would have been taking pictures back then..ugh. At this time you may have to use a pouch that isn't the favorite in the way it is under clothes, etc. but the important part is to make sure you have a good fit around the stoma to prevent any stool getting under. As the midline wound heals you'll be able to experiment with pouches to find what works for activity level, lifestyle, clothing choices, body shape, etc.

My experience of course :)