Any non-patients here?

KCookie

Regular Member

Joined : Nov 2012

Posts : 41

Posted 3/10/2013 1:49 AM (GMT 0)

Are there any non-patients here who are related (married/parents/boy-girl friends) to an ostomate? I am looking for support and wondering how other cope with watching the ones they love go through so much. I'm gonig through a stressful time right now (my husbands is the ostomate) and am curious how others handle it. I always feel guilty and selfish for being the tearful/worried/stressed/scared/nervous/anxious one when I'm not the one who is the patient.

B'Dereh

Veteran Member

Joined : Jun 2011

Posts : 1912

Posted 3/10/2013 12:28 PM (GMT 0)

Yes, there are a few partners of people here who have ostomies. And this is a great place for support. Just write.

blueglass

Veteran Member

Joined : Dec 2010

Posts : 3332

Posted 3/10/2013 7:01 PM (GMT 0)

As a patient, I often thought that some things were harder for my partner emotionally than for me..... e.g. surgery was a long nap for me, and ten hours of worrying for her....

Definitely not selfish to have your feelings.... it is very hard to watch someone you love in pain and to be able to help some, but not to be able to take it away.....and then to miss your relationship with him when he's healthier.

I hope some of the other partners will be along soon to respond to you more specifically.

killcolitis

Veteran Member

Joined : Dec 2009

Posts : 2396

Posted 3/10/2013 11:03 PM (GMT 0)

I'm a parent and I have to say I'd rather be the patient (not to minimize that in any way by the way). I've found a lot of support on facebook - there are groups for parents of kids with IBD, and a few other internet groups. It's really helped as everyone on there knows exactly what you are experiencing/feeling. Perhaps there's one for partners? If not you could start one and post it here and on other UC sites - I'm sure you'll have many members soon.

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