Big problem with leaking, HELP!

My Grams has had a fistula ever since her mesh from a hernia ripped loose. One day a scar from her bellybutton down to her pubic hair a hole opened and it changes size and depth all the time and that was Jan 2012. Since then I have been trying to learn anything and everything. She is unable to have surgery due to a bad heart. She is 79. She has a little tummy so when I apply the bag its right at the fold in her skin. I use the Eakin seals, stomahesive and cavilon spray and wipes. But because of her skin being so raw its hard to get it to heal with the juices and blood running out. She has a fistula nurse come 2x a week but the rest of the time its on me and I'm really stressing because she is in a mess. She has tissues, paper towels, little pieces of cut up cloth, wash cloths, towels and cotton balls. She goes in the shower 4-8 times a day and then the blood starts rolling. What the heck am I doing wrong ? Wednesday she goes back to the Dr. and hope she might be ready to have surgery. She can't keep doing what she is. Has anyone else had this problem?

My husband developed a horrible fistula last year after they removed part of his stomach and colon (he had three emergency surgeries in three weeks). Anyway, his fistula eventually completely healed but they used a device called a "wound vac". It would draw out all the liquid out of the fistula....And it was on day and night....24/7. They even sent him home with a wound vac until it was healed enough so he didn't need it anymore. I would DEFINITELY ask the doctor or your grandmas healthcare provider about it.