I don't know how to cope anymore

I have had my ileostomy for 18 years. I'm in the hospital - again - with another bowel blockage. I am in the "Too Hard Basket"; as I have had 33 laparotomies because of adhesions I continually ended up with bowel obstructions. I have lost my IV access. Another operation is no longer possible.
I survive on Fortisip, because I suffer from malnutrition.
My bowel obstruction is not shifting. I am terrified that what will happen now is that I face weeks starving to death along with no end of suffering.
I feel so alone, and so very scared....

I can't speak about your particular problems but you are obviously having a bad time. I had to be on fortisip for a while and didn't like it much, but maybe could get used to it. Personally I preferred calogen.

Whatever, there sre many people out here who wish you well and are behind you. Keep on fighting, things will get better.

Are you from the UK? (Fortisip.)

I agree with TPN. It bypasses the gut entirely, so there shouldn't be an issue with obstructions while you're on it.

The only other suggestion I've got is one that is probably not feasible, but hell, I'm going to suggest it anyway: small bowel transplant. It's available in the UK. Seems to me you meet the requirements for intestinal failure: please look into it.

www.bts.org.uk/Member/Clinical/Small_Bowel.aspx

Oh right, didn't know Fortisip was available in NZ. I'm from the UK and was drinking a lot of Fortisips pre-surgery. Mocha was my favourite flavour out of a bad bunch.

As for losing your IV access, does that mean you can never have another operation again? For anything? Holy crap. No wonder you're scared. Just hope you get through this particular episode, so you can at least start drinking delicious Fortisips again.

But seriously. Talk about your fears to your doctors. It's their job to keep you alive, so ask them how they are going to do that. You won't die; at least I seriously hope that you do not.

Hi!

While I don't have any advice or experience with what you are going thru, I did want to stop by and say that I hope you get the care you need and find some relief soon! Keep fighting, putting one foot in front of the other. Do not lose hope! When you are having times that it is too hard to keep fighting, that's when your family or close friends need to step in and do it for you....whether that's demanding better care from the docs/health care team, or doing the daily self care kind of activities for you. And you can always count on us here on the forum to keep sending positive thoughts and prayers, encouragement, whatever we can do. When you feel like you don't have hope, we will hold on to hope for you! Your job is to never give up. And I'm assigning you one more task...each day you need to find at least one reason to smile. Doesn't matter how big or small, whether it's a joke or feeling the love and support of the people around you, but you have to keep finding those reasons to smile, reasons to keep going!

I'm not going to pretend that I know what you are going thru, and the suffering you have dealt with and continue to deal with, but I will pray for you, and I will hold on to hope for you. Sending positive thoughts. Please keep posting when you are able, and let us know if there's anything we can do for you.

One last thing, don't know if you like animals, but my cat, Frank, is trying to "help" me type this...guess he wants to send some get well wishes also!!