What to do....my dad is in total denial that he has PD

My dad is 92 yrs. old and has PD for at least several years, although when initially seen by a neurologist, the doctor told him that since his hands were not shaking, he did not have PD. My dad was elated and accepted this diagnosis as fact, despite many symptoms that appear. He suffers from dementia which I believe is due to the PD, now has swallowing problems (which he refers to as his phlegm problem), and his total urinary incontinence is not controllable by the use of adult diapers. I keep switching brands in hopes of find a more absorbent, yet comfortable pair. His zippered pants no longer fit properly and are difficult to put on and off without the assistance of his 24/7 aide. I have just purchased him some elastic waist pants to pull up/down.

His geriatric doctor has tried a couple of meds to help with his neverending urination, but to no avail. At the assisted living facility where he lives no one can tell me what diaper is the best, how often it should be changed, and more.

Although he has urged me to see a "specialist" I am not quite sure, should he see a urologist or a neurologist? If it has to be a neurologist, he will explode with anger and most likely refuse to go. He will never, ever accept the fact that he has PD although he has no idea what it is and what it is all about.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am in the midst of looking for a transfer to a nursing home for both he and my mom (who also has dementia, even worse).

Thank you so much, Sherwood, for your reply. It is my dad's biggest problem, especially when I am having such difficulty figuring out which diapers might be most absorbent, yet comfortable for him. I did hear about the possibility of a catheter to control the incontinence, but I know that would surely freak him out the most! I would want to find a urologist on my own this time as opposed to someone the facility chooses for him, as they don't always choose the best doctors!

I did bring over the new slacks I bought him, that have no fly, just an elastic waist (with pockets) to pull up and down and he seemed very pleased. I just have to hem them which for me is no big deal at all.

I sent in the co-executive director to speak to him (and my mom) and he calmed him down immensely and spoke to my parents for awhile about their grandchildren, and more. Sometimes, kind words from another man are the most calming and reassuring, and that man promised if any other problems come up regarding incontinence, he will see to it that my dad is well cared for.

In the meanwhile, I must begin my search for a good nursing home, as I can very well see it will be soon needed, particularly with my mom's dementia getting progressively worse.