Posted 9/11/2005 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there, this is my first post. I may not make other posts. Im hoping to use this site to learn from as its the best Ive found yet.
Heres what has brought me here. A year ago a met a guy who has PD. My first experience with PD. We have been seeing eachother over this time, and I was well aware of his condition from the start. He was diagnosed 12 years ago, but his condition has been a very slow form indeed. I read every definition on PD I could find online, surfed MJ Fox site and read his bio etc... Purchased a book about PD and basically tried to understand and learn about what he was going through. about 2 months ago he let me see the ugly side ( his words) he always tried to hide. The morning side when his meds hadnt kicked in. I reacted as I expected I would, not bothered, and joked about how he just didnt want me to see his pillow hair. Since then he has opened up to me, and started to talk about things and share with me. It then occurred to me that he had no one else to do this with. Once he started to share his feelings and emotions on things I saw a whole new side that I never knew existed. I also realised I knew nothing about PD, even after all I had read... I hadnt yet spoken to anybody else, all my knowledge was garnered from books and websites. I then contacted the local Parkinsons Group and had alot of info sent to me, and found a support group in my area that I will be going to so I can meet other people who either have PD or work with people with PD. So I can grasp more strands of information. This is what got me learning about PD. What brought me to this site???
Well last night I met up with a friend, we havent known eachother very long, but long enough that he felt comfortable to tell me he had PD. So I started asking him about it, questions that showed I understood a little about it. He instantly relaxed and we talked. He showed me a sad, frightened man, who was blocking out his loved ones as he has a sense of burden... He was diagnosed 4 yrs ago and told me he is still in denial. When he had to finish work he set goals of things to achieve, he has done none of them. He is also blocking out his partner of 20 yrs and his 2 kids from the turmoil he is dealing with. Hes 54 and is also in the early stages of Dementia.
Why am I at this site, well we had such a good night talking, it went for hours, he enjoyed it immensley that he wishes to do it again this Sat. So I agreed on the condition he starts one of his goals he set when he left work. His partner will inform me when he starts it and does so much of the work I set for him to finish. What I need to know from other people with PD is how can I motivate him to embrace the quality of the time he has... he seems content to let it slip by. I tried to use some examples from MJ Fox's book, but he didnt bite. I also even suggested by not doing anything is living like youre beat. I was really at a loss for examples to try to motivate him to bite back and take control of what he has and not try to control what he feels hes losing.
Can anyone suggest ways I can motivate him. ? I never knew there were PD chat sites till I read the MJ Fox book.
I hope my post makes some sense to who reads it. Its now 1.45am, and I shouldve been in bed hours ago . Any suggestions or advice will be taken on board. Also any suggestions for further reading? please send.
Many thanks in advance.