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mom dx parkinsons

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Parkinson's Disease
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Posted 5/26/2008 4:00 AM (GMT 0)

My mom is 78 years old and was dx with Parkinsons 3 years ago.  She is in relatively good health - on Synthroid due to thyroidectomy many years ago and BPs med along with her Parkinsons med and Effexor XR due to depression.  I am an RN and noticed a signficant decline in her health since October.  She lives alone and still drives (none of my siblings live within her area - we're all approximately 2 hours away).  When she comes to my house, she seems unable to get out of a chair, couch, etc. and calls me to get her out of the chair.  In nursing school, you are taught to help others do for themselves, especially the ADL's - activities of daily living.  I told my siblings that when she visits we are not to enable her...let her put on her own socks, shoes, get out of chair, pull her pants up after going to bathroom, etc. thinking that enabling her to do for herself is better for her so that we do not create an invalid.  She is very active in her town - driving herself to the store, church, pharmacy, and to play bridge almost daily - which we are very glad about....  She had very limited use of her left hand due to ?rheumatoid arthritis (which she has no pain and is not symetrical in her right hand) could be ?stroker per MD.  Should we be helping her out of her chair??   It seems to be getting worse and she does not hesitiate to ask for help....I just thought she should try to do it on her own since she lives on her own and seems to get around her own house and drive without problems.  I finally asked her this weekend, how can you get around at home and not at my house and she said it takes her a long time.  I asked her how does she get out of her car and play bridge, etc. daily and she said that sometimes she has to wait sometimes for 15 minutes before someone comes by to help her out of her car.  That made me feel soooo awful!!!  Should she still be driving???   Should we help her when she calls for help???  Or encourage her to do for herself.  She is on a list of an Assisted Living home that is very nice (people come from all over the nation to this home) she also has friends that live there, when I asked her this weekend if an opening came up would she consider it and she said NO!!  My siblings and I have all invited her to come and live with us but she wants to stay in her town with her friends....we understand but are very concerned for her!!!  Any advice is appreciated!!!

A Concerned RN Daughter

Posted 5/26/2008 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds to me like your mother is trying to do as much as possible for herself. I imagine she's really afraid sometimes when she can't get help, and if I were her daughter or her nurse (I'm also an RN), I'd assist her. The time will come when she needs more assistance than she can get in her home, but until then you might check with her about getting some in-home help for her.
Posted 5/26/2008 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your post.  We do have someone that comes in to the home one day every other week....She refuses to have someone more often than that. 

Posted 6/6/2008 5:26 AM (GMT 0)

Concerned RN,

Your Mother is lucky to have your support ...especially one with an RN background. Here are my observations/comments from two perspectives.

 

I was diagnosed with PD in 2001. I have been VERY fortunate that my progression has been very slow - still work full-time and do whatever ... with a bit of a shake. I am a very independent person ... and hope to remain so for many years. It's hard when our independence is taken away - harder for some than others. There also becomes a fine line when we may need assistance, but don't want to ask ... or better yet, do need assistance and are willing to ask. It sounds to me like your Mother may fall in the latter category - needs and is willing to ask.

 

My other perspective comes from my involvement in an exercise program for people of all ages and abilities who have Parkinson's. It's called Rock Steady Boxing -a boxing-based exercise program for people with Parkinson's www.rocksteadyboxing.org  What I see in those classes is people who are fighting to maintain their independence. But .... they usually recognize when it's time to ask for or receive a bit of assistance. I think every person with PD gets to a point where they need assistance -whether they like it or not.

 

I also understand your thought about encouraging independence. It's a fine line. I wouldn't allow your Mom to 'wimp out', but I also would be cognizent of her requests and why ... is it a task/movement she especially struggles with - i.e, and sort of unrelated ... but I and many folks with PD struggle with the cutting motion when cutting meat/food - can't explain it but is common and embarrassing in public. Those of us with PD often move slooooowly.  Slow doesn't always work when need to 'spring' out of your automobile seat to a standing position ... it may require a hand to pull oneself up/out.

 

Lastly, regarding 'wimping out' ... make sure depression isn't a factor. A large percentage of people with Parkinson's suffer from depression - either short-term or long. Depression can certainly rule your life and cause one to not fight or try harder. As a medical professional I'm sure you are aware of that ... but have to mention it.

 

Again, your Mom is fortunate to have you in your corner (OK, there's the boxing talk ... lol). Best of luck and please post additional questions.

lizzy4451

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