HELP! spouse needs support!

Lauren,
The regular Moderator from this forum is out of town so I'm kind of filling in. He has Parkinson's himself and just keeps plugging along. My mother-in-law had PD and we cared for her until she passed. All in all the things that helped us the most were a sense of humor about things, and we did lots of praying, too. Don't know if you're a praying sort of person, but it gave us and Mom some peace of mind. We also made a pact to only rent funny movies.

The therapist is a great idea and you are very courageous to take that first step. So many people want to hide their heads in the sand and ignore the obvious. I admire your "take the bull by the horns" attitude. Living life means accepting the good and the not so good. You have a lot on your plate and a therapist will help you sort through your feelings.

Please concentrate some effort in maintaining your links to your girlfriends, daughters or sisters. They will be the ones who will help you so very much in the years ahead especially with all the decisions you will need to make. Also, cherish what you have right now, today. It's difficult to change your retirement dreams and all the things you planned with this man you love... and sometimes you will be really angry about the situation. This is really normal. But remember that there are medical breakthroughs being made every day with this disease, so it's good to keep a positive attitude.

Choose things that make you both happy. It might be the simplest thing, but do it. I know Mom became engrossed in the different birds that would come to her bird feeder when her mobility got very limited. So every day dad would go out and fill that feeder. She and dad loved their Sunday paper with donuts and coffee. Even though the coffee would goof up some of her meds (she had other health issues, too) she still had that one cup every Sunday.

Your DH didn't choose to have PD and nothing he did made it happen... It just is that way. The less time you spend on the down side of it and the more you value what you have the better it will be. Hang in there and keep coming back with your questions. Somebody here is bound to have gone through what you are doing and have great insight to offer.

Hi Lauren, I see it is a while since you logged on so maybe you won't see this. I know just how you feel. I too am in my late fifties, my husband is just 60. He was told 4 years ago he probably had it and it had just been confirmed on DaTscan. I can't believe it as he has led such a healthy life. Gosh what a stupid thing to say!! He has worked so hard all his life and we have saved and planned all we will do in retirement it's so not fair. He used a gym went scuba diving and we danced 2 or 3 times a week to competition standard. Now he can't do the quick feet as he puts it so Jive and quickstep have gone. He can't write very much and has problems with dexterity of his right hand. I am so scared. What will happen later, I am only a bit younger so what if I can't help him as much as he needs? He has always said he wouldn't want to live without being healthy and fully fit. I feel bad for me but mainly I feel so bad for him and so helpless. Having said that he just gets on with it. Has just started on Azilect to try and slow it and Requip. He did try Sinemet but it did nothing although the neurologist said it was 'cos he was in denial-well we both were really. I want him to talk about the future but he won't as yet aand I'd like to get on and do things now so he won't have regrets later. The neoro is not as empathic as I'd like and has told him he will have very limited mobility in 10 years. Huh how does he know? Do post again, we have had time to get used to it and life is still good, we still have fun. Chin up!

Hello Lauren, I am 38 with early onset, but you know what? I am 38. I have a lot of life left in front of me. I will not let this define me, but instead I will as I have with everything else in life, will redefine my life to beat it, or at least control it, and educate all those I can to what it is and all that can be done to fight the war against it. My wife is probably a lot like you and honestly I think she is more worried than I. I live one day at a time and am just thankful for the life I have lived, and look at each new day as a gift. I feel as long as I use my gifts wisely then I will continue to recieve each blessed day, by day, by day. I am just myself exploring and meeting others with our "problem" but I seem to see that same kind of optimism from a lot of us out there. I find that re-assuring. I know that keeping a positive attitude has been the key to almost all of the successes I have had in life, and I do consider myself successful. As I recently coached my wife, if I may borrow from Mac Anderson, "Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?" Be strong, be positive, be passionate and enthusiastic. Thats what I need from my spouse.

Charles