Does the spontaneity ever return

Assuming that my ED problem eventually resolves itself and that I am not using Viagra (et al.), or an injection, will spontaneous erections ever return?  Once upon a time, the mere thought of a romantic evening with my wife was enough to get things aroused.   Now I could go to a nudist beach and be completely safe.  I always try and find the bright side of every problem.

 

How does a lack of spontaneity affect your marriages?  My wife has not grasped the concept yet that a little planning is involved in order to get any reaction out of me.

 

Roger

Roger,

With the nerve sparing surgery you received and being as young as you are, I would think you would have more of a response

than you have by now. I am fortunate to be above the curve as seen in my profile below. I can get a spontaneous full erection now, four months post op, but maintaining it is a little difficult. However 10mg of Cialis does the trick for me and puts me as good as pre op. I am confident with my progress so far that I will be fully potent without meds in the near future. My wife has been great. While she loves the spontaneous moments, the results from the Cialis is as she says "worth the wait". It takes a lot of patience and effort on the part of a man's spouse. Hopefully she will help you often to get whatever erection you can achieve and orgasms. This is important to long term success. Keeping blood flow in it is very necessary.

bob d you bring up an intresting point , it was essential  in my ongoing recovrey that my wonderful wife played an active role in rehabilitation . i was only  married 8 month after being diagnosed and together a year before that looking back  she has been a constant willing participant which i personally beleive is paramount in recovery ,and i mean psycologically as much as sexually , .................just my take on it ....dirt         

  p.s. roger i wouldnt worry about the wife not getting used to the planning part  she will ,like any thing else about this disease ,its still new your both still learning what the new normal is gonna be youll be fine my brother NEVER stop trying  

Roger, we know what you mean about losing the spontaneity. in the almost 2 years since Jeff had surgery, we've had intercourse 2-3 times where he was able to get an erection with no drugs, and that was in the past few months. try different ED drugs. Jeff found Levitra to work the best for him, with the fewest side affects. we know that most of the time he'll have to take a pill and then we have to work sex into our schedule (it's really not that bad!) but also know that it does work on its own in a blue moon. well, make that a pink moon! this whole experience is different for us (after having spontaneous intercourse for almost 30 years) but well worth the effort. yes, we get frustrated, yes, sometimes Jeff just doesn't want to bother with it, other times he takes a pill and I don't want to bother with it, but this is life. take care, kat

I'm in much the same boat as you, including stage and age. I had my robotic last December and am still not pad free, but what they call "socially continent" in that I wear one thin pad a day mainly as a security blanket. I wanted to get the continence as close to 100% before really tackling the ED, but now at 6 months out with no additional improvement towards incontinence (ie: completely pad free), I became worried that if I didn't aggressively tackle it now it might be too late.

I've been on both Cialis and Viagra for about three months with little or no result. I bought the pump and tried it a few times as a therapeutic aid, but with two young kids I had little or no time during the day, and pretty much fall into bed at night and have no motivation, so it became a paper weight. I finally was able to get an appointment with an ED "specialist" urologist who last week did a "doppler" study confirming that there was no vascular damage, and the surface nerves were OK. Part of the study involved injecting me with the "bi-mix" (forget the technical name), and shazam...flag pole action. I was barely able to waddle to the car and it lasted nearly three hours. The only "downside" was that needles really freak me out, and man...did it hurt. My next visit I am supposed to do the deed, and it will be interesting to see if I can overcome my phobia and actually jam that BIG (although very fine) needle in that nerve-rich environment. I was also lectured to use the pump at least 10 minutes a day, so I guess I have a new hobby.

Beyond the seemingly endless clinical aspects of the PC variety show, the spontaneity aspect is pretty huge. Even though she gets it, the wife's motivation (although already GREATLY diminished over the years) will be tested, perhaps too much. The whole thing is a pretty big downer, and has me fondly remembering better....far better days.