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New here, Hubby had prostatectomy 3 weeks ago

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Posted 9/14/2008 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all, I am new here. I hope i can navigate this forum corectly. Hubby had first orgasm this morning after surgery, with my help. at first he was afraid to allow himself to orgasm, tho it was feeling good at the time(gently HJ with oil). but he allowed himself to try. He said it felt fine, but hurt for awhile afterwards, dull ache where prostate used to be and a few zingers. We have since read that is normal. Of coures, penis wasnt fully hard. Wondering how long that generally takes? He is 52, nerve bundles were preserved, dont know his gleason scores, but very sexually active before surgery, which i hear is good. All ccncer was contained within prostate, lymph nodes clear. He was reading on here earlier and seemed to feel better that all he was experiencing after first orgasm sounded normal. Any info would help. Thanks so much.
Posted 9/14/2008 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
You go girl....as my husband is still a bit incontinent ( 3 pads a day) just three and a half weeks from his daVinci surgery....we were kind of waiting but will try a little stimulation if there is hope this early...to others am I  setting my goal too high too fast?  nono Heard that it can take MONTHS....not weeks.....
Posted 9/14/2008 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for the reply. my husband wears a pad only during the day and has had very few leaks, and has always been highly sexed(Lord have mercy) so he has been urging me to participate in "therapy" even before he had the cath out! If your hubby is willing to try, you might as well.  Good luck to you.
Posted 9/15/2008 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hi forumjunkie,
Maybe that's my problem. I wasn't smart enough to refer to it as "therapy." If he is even partially or mostly hard at this point it is a very good sign of things to come! Glad things are progressing so well for you.
Best,
Mike
Posted 9/15/2008 10:32 AM (GMT 0)
Time varies, 12 mos for me, some spontaneous activity but only with extended manual stimulation, meds help. Might help to realign priorities, some take 18 months or longer, even with nerve bundles spared. Even with meds, not the same quality as pre-surgery. At the end of the day though, I would personally rather be alive and cancer free while hoping for a return of adequate function spontaneously, I dislike meds and although the injections work great, utilizing them removes all spontaneity from the experience. Good Luck.
Randy
Posted 9/15/2008 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Randy,

I agree whole hardly with you. It is much better to be alive..... but I do miss the physical part of our relationship. We celebrated our 21st anniversary this past weeking, with a nice dinner btw.

Roger
Posted 9/15/2008 2:01 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear still no luckin the response department. you r a young guy too. Were you able to get and sustain erections before and were you very sexually active? We were told that those things make a difference in recovery after. Do you men do things sexually for your wives even tho you have ED? wouldnt that be good for closeness physically? Just wondering because just because you cant have/keep an erection or orgasm yourself doesnt mean you cant get the closeness you desire with your spouses by satisfying them in some way, even if its just a nice massage.

Posted 9/15/2008 4:19 PM (GMT 0)

I am now 4 weeks post LRP and I too am experimenting with the big O. I was having erections almost immediately even while the catheter was still in. I have orgasm now but it feels different. I feel a dull ache at the surgery area which I assume will get better with time. Also there is no ejaculation. ( I apoligize if this is too graphic for this site.) It feels different because it seems much quicker. My advice is to take it slow and enjoy the ride.

Posted 9/15/2008 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
hi hangin-in, my husband had his first O last night, as i posted in the beginning of this thread. I had been telling him he was going to have to have the first one without me because i didnt want to be responsible for any pain. But as i was giving him his "massage therapy" yesterday morning(he is 3 weeks post op, robotic prostatectomy) he decided to allow himself to relax enough to orgasm. he said it felt about the same, and i witnessed the lack of ejaculate first hand(no pun intended)which was interesting. He also had some discomfort deep inside for awhile. It only lasted about half hr to 45 minutes. His penis wasnt erect tho, kind of semi, which seems strange that everything else felt/seemed the same. It seemed to take awhile but i think it was because he wasnt planning on trying to orgasm at first, we were just "excercising" it. So now if orgasm is his goal, it probably wont take as long.

Posted 9/16/2008 3:55 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Forumjunkie,

If he is getting even a partial erection this soon, he is well on his way !! I got my first 5 days post op with the catheter still in. Ouch ! But it was great to experience. Now just six months post op, I get an 80% erection naturally and with 10mg Cialis it is 110%. wink My wife and I had a little "therapy" the other night and again the following morning. Yes the Cialis does last very well. I had the slight pain after orgasm at first but it did subside. A lot of trauma down there must heal. Being sexually active pre op really does help. You two keep it up, LOL. smilewinkgrin

Posted 9/16/2008 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome forumjunkie!    W elcome     to   ~ HealingWell ~   and   A    Special Warm Welcome   to   You !   Knowledge gives us POWER.   POWER takes away the fear.   ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~      ~     Click   on   link   below for important information that will help you ~ help us!!                                                                    >>   Welcome New Members ~ to HealingWell   The information (link) listed above is to help you get around the forum!     This is a journey best traveled with friends.     Welcome ~ New Friend from all the members here... on HealingWell.com     Know Your Forum Moderators v       Doting Daughter  ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum   v       James C  ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum
Posted 9/16/2008 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
hello there  forum your hubby will usually have that ache after sex at about 6 weeks mine went away life is still great after surgery,my wife is highly sexually charged and a just plain great gal.she participates in all our therapy sessions , HUGE diffrence from something like a pump or? ccause all sensation is being met.your hubby is gonna be fine ,we had sex a couple days post cath removal,and literally try everynight (use it or lose it my surgeon said) i have went in 3.5 months from nothing  witout the meds to 80% erection quality with out them 100% with. hers the good stuff,in my case orgasms are indeed 100 % better than pre surgery and hers why or at least how i can best explain ,for one no more mess you have to adjust to it if your a guy and you will,im certain the wives on here like mine think nothing less of you just cause theres no man juice anymore, but before when there was my orgasms would typically last 10 to 12 seconds very average for abny guy as thats approx how long it takes ejaculate to empty, now theres nothing coming out annd  therefore nothing  going to the brain sayin its over ,typically my orgasms are not only as long as a womans but have lasted for as long as 40 seconds and 50 times more intense so its not all bad , i too am young and had NO previous ed  whatsoever and had sex on a VERY regular basis your guy need ya right now and god bless women like you its gonna get real good you watch and see and best of all NO CANCER ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dirt

Posted 9/16/2008 5:49 PM (GMT 0)

Hi forum junkie,

I think your husband's doing well after 3 weeks. My doc had me on Viagra every day for two weeks starting week three. ( 100mg per day or 50 mg per day for four weeks).He said even if I didn't need it, it helps wake up the muscles and better erections will come sooner.

Ed

Posted 9/18/2008 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
good luck on the therapy good 4 u to be willing to try so early . my surgeon said nothing 4 - 4 to 5weeks  iguess all docs r different . lungman i agree with you to much emphsis put on the erectile part id rather stop leaking and thank god im alive lol smurf
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