Incontinence Frustrations

Really just need to vent, and I know comparatively speaking, I'm fresh out of surgery, but I'm getting so frustrated with the leaking that I feel like I'm about to explode. Unlike a lot of folks, I don't have an office job, my office is a Ford F250. I'm a commercial HVAC service tech by trade, so that means a lot of walking, climbing, bending and occasional crawling. Finding a restroom on a forty acre factory rooftop can be a challenge.

Not sure what my point is, just felt like ranting, and perhaps wondering how anyone else in my predicament handles it. On a good note, there has been some improvement since catheter removal, at night, I leak very little, and sometimes have even woken to a near dry pad. Daytime is another issue, can't use pads at work, still using pull ups, because of the leakage, and changing a pull up during the day is a real pain in the buttocks.

Anyway, thanks for listening, and thank you all for being there, I know I'm better off than many, but sometimes it just doesn't make ant difference.

OK, time to get off the pity pot and carry on.

Cheers!

Hey Bro,

I hear you. Our conditions are very similar. Had surgery Oct 1st. I also am a working guy. I am a furniture service tech. I do alot of bending, up and downing, plus in and out of vehicle alot. I am 10 weeks out with some minor improvment. I am pretty dry during the night and only get up once instead of 3 or 4 times. I use depends plus pads during the day. I go though about 4-5 pads a day and 3 pull ups. It is like a curse of sorts. People say if thats how you think about it, thats the way it will be. Yeah well spend a week in my pants and then we will talk. I sound bitter but I really am not. I hope by 6 months I am down to just a pad or 2 a day. My surgery was nerve spareing but no life down below and being wet has me wondering. Time will tell. Be assured we know how you feel. Rant your ass of brother, I will hear you. They say time changes everything.  Well , I'm still waiting. I just joined the 000 club and am grateful. Fella who had same surgery as me  same day is dry and up and running down below so it is a crap shoot. We have become friends and discuss issues . You are not alone, but up on that roof it feels like it. I  Listien to alot of Springsteen and Neil Young music. It helps.  Carry on.

Hello Gunner
I had my Surgery on Nov 18 I had better controle after the cath removel but have lost it now and I know about the going nutts part , I try the kegals but no good lol when I walk I go then run to the bath and stand there nothing driving me nutts so you are not alone here .

Hang in there guys! If you read enough of these emails, you'll that what happens to a lot of guys is that SOMEwhere between about 10 and 20 weeks, you suddenly improve for no apparent reason. Mine hit around 15 weeks. I went from 7 to 5 to 3 pads a day in about 2 weeks, and then 3 to 2 to 1 in the next 4-5 weeks. It takes time for your body to heal, and the correct muscles to build up to where they need to be.

I understand your frustration. I about went crazy with it, and I have a desk job. I'm still not 100% continent, but it is MUCH better. I saw a physical therapist for some bio-feedback, and what I recommend based on that is, try to think of an excercise that simulates your working movements. Do that exercise at home and concentrate on keeping tight. I know you hard-working guys probably don't want to exercise at home - but the "exercise" can be very easy - you just have to simulate the motions that make you lose control. You go through those motions and focus on staying tight. It is tough at first, but then theoretically it becomes an almost involuntary response which helps you out during the day.

Gunner59 - Hopefully you are right on the verge of sudden improvement. Good luck,

kcragman

I could wear pads, but out in the field, there's a shortage of convenient locations where one can change a pad when it's full, so the larger capacity of the pullups sweems to be the best compromise for now. I wear pads at home, and when going out for non work related activities.

Gunner59,

I had Robotic LRP in Jan2007. It's been almost 24 months and I still wear a pad a day. Like you, I am active on the job. I do telephone installs and repair. Lots of ladder carrying and climbing. Running wire in walls and ceilings. Some outside work but not much. The good news for me has been my post-op PSA's have been <.02 but the minor leaks are still annoying.

Post Edited (Gunny) : 12/16/2008 11:25:32 AM (GMT-7)

I am right at 7 months out of surgery and basically dry, but even now it can slip up on me - I liken it to a hickup. I know that I was doing pretty good at 8 weeks out as well, and recall thinking that I would for sure be dry at 12 weeks. I read here somewhere that 12 weeks was the average - from someone. Well, it didn't happen - I passed 12 weeks and on & on.

Well, I found the process of improvement beyond near dry (one pad a day with just a little leaking here and there) is very very slow. Some of our dear ones here are having it much worse than this, so it is hard to complain when you read some of the difficulties they are going through. It sounds like yours is following a good trend, and I am simply writing to let you know not to expect too much too fast, and that I think you are on a fairly normal track.

RV,

I think you will find in reading on this site that there is no general rule.  The very blessed are dry almost immediately.  You will find others that are having to undergo secondary procedures because they have radical on-going leaking after months or years.  You will also find persons who are months out and still have some leaking.  I am past seven months post Di'Vinci and call myself dry.  However, I still wear a pad for security and minimal dribble.  It is not much of a bother at this point, but I am not back to where I was prior to surgery.  I can dribble a little if I strain, bend a certain way, or just get extremely tired in the evening.

It is a longer road for some of us.  I know I got pretty good about 3 months out, but progress from there with that last little bit has been slow.  Admittedly, I have never been a kegel exerciser.  Blessings.

Just hang in there guys,  I know most of you will dry up finally.  Just do what you have to do to keep pushing forward and trying to live a somewhat normal life.  Feel free to vent any time you wish.

    KW

I went off the pads at 8 weeks exactly from the open Surgery but was down to a pad a day prior to that. But I did kegels extensively and also went to the bathroom every hour while I was working or up and about. I'm 59 almost 60.

However, my cousin who is 5 years younger required 18 months to be free of the pads and he had the davinci surgery. So it just varies..

Gunner, that's great news to hear about you on New Years Day. Big improvement, and I hope it only gets better in that department for you in the weeks ahead. Tommorow, will be 7 weeks post surgery for me (open) and I am still on a catheter. So I still haven't had a real meaningful chance of dealing with incontenence since all this started on Nov. 14th. Guess we fight different demons in our PC battle. If you follow my saga, I am on catheter #3, and suppose to see my dr on Monday, already not eager to have this one removed unless he has a whole new game plan for me. I hope only the best for you in your continued recovery in the new year.

David in SC

TA-DA! I said on 12/15 that I thought you were on the verge of sudden improvement. I must be freakin psychic or something.

Of course, I also had Atlanta and Indianapolis in our NFL playoff pool. (darn it!)

Congrats on the improvement. Good luck going down the road.

kcragman