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Quality of post surgery orgasm

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Posted 10/7/2008 1:55 AM (GMT 0)
I'm about 2 tears out from Divinci surgery. An erection of sufficient quality for penetration arrived during my 11th month post surgery, with the help of viagra.  I am very grateful to be able to regain that ability.

However, my orgasms are turning out to be duds.  Everything feels like pre-surgery up to the moment of climax, and then it just sorta doesn't happen.  I have an orgasm, but it is not close to the intensity of what it was.  I'm not complaining, I just was wondering if anyone else has experienced this dilema and was able to find a solution.  Continued stimulation throughout the orgasm seems to help, but the explosion that used to occur has not returned.

Any suggestions would be welcome.  Thank you.

Posted 10/7/2008 11:12 AM (GMT 0)
Is it the same whether it is orgasm from intercourse or from JO? i have found the former to be quite minimal - while the latter is almost better than ever.
Paul
Posted 10/7/2008 11:17 AM (GMT 0)
Dave, I'm with you on this one. The quality of orgasms has been completely diminished. In fact, for me it is even harder to have an orgasm. I have to work very hard. I will patiently await any suggestions also.
Posted 10/7/2008 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
Being a single guy before and after surgery….my Big “O’s” are self inflicted…Or is that self induced? Anyway, I consider mine to be “better then nothing.” (Maybe I should set my sites higher?) BUT, as before surgery, the more days in-between, the better the “O” is.
Posted 10/8/2008 1:01 AM (GMT 0)
My orgasms 6 months post op are as great as ever. Very intense and seem to spasm more. Erections are fantastic as hard as ever with 10mg Cialis. Effects last up to 60 hours for me.
Posted 10/8/2008 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
I find my orgasms to be the same as before, and maybe even better because they last longer -- either with IC or JO.

But it is a lot harder work to achieve one with injections for IC, and about one time in five I miss out, having worn out my welcome.

For some reason, orgasm comes a lot more easily with the pump, which I rarely use for IC. I remember one time I did use it for IC following an injection failure, and then orgasm came quite (too!) quickly, just like the old days.
Posted 10/8/2008 12:30 PM (GMT 0)
I too am 1 year out from robotic surgery. Just last week I had an erection without a compression device!!! The resulting orgasm was mild to say the least. I am reminded of my rabbi from teenage days who would exhort us to not JO becuase it would dull the IC sensations. I wonder if too much JO in my search for wood has made it this way.

Joel
Posted 10/8/2008 2:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the responses. There seems to be quite a range of experiences here. Pre-surgery, I knew about ED being a problem, but I didn't know that the orgasm could be different. Everything I recall reading said it would feel the same. I don't think I asked my doctor and he didn't volunteer any information on the topic.

I seem to have arrived at a place where I cannot obtain an orgasm by IC, only by JO. And even then, it hardly seems worth the effort, other than for a tension release.
Posted 10/9/2008 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
You guys are scaring me. I'm trying to figure out what my expectations should be. Seems like a crap shoot, how good your doctor is, what nerves are spared, how they rewire themselves, whether continence extends to the release of orgasm, whether you experience a pleasurable orgasm or just a 'tension release', whether you are flaccid or erect. Best I can tell, its about a 50:50 chance of having something afterwards which meets the criteria of 'satisfactory' (for me, penetration with ED drug assistance, some form of recognizable orgasm).

No real resolution. The coin is being tossed, and I guess I'll just have to see whether it comes up heads or tails.
Posted 10/9/2008 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
You're right -- it is a crap shoot. We seem to differ quite widely in our responses to surgery. I think if you are having good erections before surgery, and you have nerve-sparing surgery, the long-term odds are very much in your favor -- much better than 50:50. Even with no nerves, the odds of injections working are better than 80% -- but they require persistence to get all the variables right. Even the pump is better than nothing, but doesn't meet your criteria of 'satisfactory'.

A lot of the problems we discuss here are before the two year point -- incontinence and ED (if any!) do get better with time.

If you knew for sure that you would never have erections again, even with aids, would you still go ahead with surgery? If your answer is "yes", then forge ahead with your plan and don't look back. Chances are the outcome will be much better than you fear.
Posted 10/10/2008 11:04 PM (GMT 0)
It has taken me a while (18 mos) but am able to achieve erections fairly regularly with oral meds. I still use the injections occaisionally. On the orgasm front, I have to say mine are better then before, longer lasting and more intense

Posted 12/27/2008 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
I just came across this forum and thought I would join specifically for this topic. I was diagnosed in June 2008 and had nerve sparing surgery on Sept 16, 2008. I'm managing well through what I call my Quality of Life issues with Viagra assisted erections at three weeks following surgery, and incontinence resolving itself at 5 weeks. I continue to have good results with Viagra and have a very positive attitude that natural erections will get better as I continue to heal (very willing to give my body time to heal) BTW, 6 week PSA .04 ;-)

Regarding my orgasim, my first try was two days after the tube was removed (very flacid) and I also experienced a very diminished orgasim. Soon after when my Viagra erections started, it seemed that the "hardness" further reduced the feel of the orgasim. I only felt the pulsation of the penis itself and at the base of the penis. The "lead up" pleasure that the prostate gave me was missing, along with the prostate part of the climax. This also made it hard for me to reach climax at times.

However, over time, the penis musle orgasim did get a little better as I kept trying, and then I made a promise to myself. I came to terms that the orgasim I'm going to have for the rest of my life will be different, but it will NOT be less satisfying!!

My plan:
Ok, so the first thing I did was to think back to when I was 12 and I first started **********. I remember back then taking a long time to orgasim (just like now) and sometimes not even knowing if I did orgasim (I remember rubbing the top of my penis to see if it was sensitive - like after an orgasim). My anwser now is the same thing I started when I was 12. Keep doing it (I mean it feels good!) and learn how to increase the pleasure. Experiment, experiment, experiment (remember those days!!!) It even thrills me to think I have an opportunity to relearn my orgasim.

My success so for:
When I was a kid, I found an old vibrator in the basement. It was the kind the barber shop would use to massage your scalpe; has two springs where your hand goes into and a larger vibrating motor that sits on the back of your hand. To use this, you put the springs around your penis (be a little careful) and allow the massager to vibrate your penis, scrotum, and behind your scrotum. This has allowed me to have a really intense orgasim even with a good lead up that was missing after surgery. What's even more fun is that my wife loves watching me do this and that's really hot (like I'm still 12 and having a beautiful women watch). Experiment, experiment, experiment!

I also feel that solo ********** is as important as relations with your partner (for me anyway). I have to give myself time to relearn my body and what makes my orgasim intense. I still have some anxieties (will the Viagra last long enough, feels good to cum inside her - wait I can't do that anymore, etc.). BTW, I always tell my wife about my orgasim even when I do it solo. She's great!

So, I still consider myself a work-in-progress and am willing to give myself the time necessary to heal and learn. My orgasim is different, but I guarantee it will be just as satisfying as before. And I'm gonna have fun figuring out how.

- Tom
Posted 12/28/2008 2:37 AM (GMT 0)

 

   Jees Louise....I often have to stop, or make her stop because it's so intense....ten times better than before! whew, makes me weak kneed just thinkin' about it!!

Posted 1/2/2009 9:44 AM (GMT 0)
I had a TURP four years ago and have found that my orgasms are very different now. I really miss the orgasmic rush of semen and ejaculation I experienced up until the surgery. Now I have to intensely concentrate on getting to orgasm, and then often I'm not sure if it's happened or not! I have had ED for fifteen years due to a PTSD and have tried all the pills, pumps and injections and am seriously thinking of an implant - health insurance covers implant surgery here in Australia. Some of the postings on implants sound a bit daunting though! I was told one or two nights in hospital with moderate pain.

Aussiebob
Posted 1/2/2009 2:41 PM (GMT 0)
I'm about 7 weeks post op, and I have classic post op issues, i.e. semi-erections that need non-stop stimulation, using 1 pad a day, etc, but I noticed that the orgasm is different. For one it's cleaner, the wife loves it. Secondly, it's more intense to me, but I think that's because I'm still too sensitive. I reached the big-O yesterday in 1 minute after the start of IC, i felt it coming, could do nothing to postpone it and then BOOM - screamed, yelped and bucked like I was being tazed. If someone was outside and heard it, they woulda been like - *** was that? Call the cops! I'm sure I'll go longer with less sensitivity, more usage and a better erection. Here's a funny one. about 3 weeks ago, my wife was hand-pleasuring me and after about 2 or 3 minutes I had a good orgasm, then got a pretty good erection. I got nice and hard after the party. Boy, I miss the old days.
Posted 1/2/2009 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
Retropubic prostatectomy wide incision. 12-15-2008.  Age 54.

Catheter removed 15 days post-op. Glad to have that behind me, I do feel for ppl that have to live with a catheter 24/7.

I wore a pad for first day and have not needed them since. I feel very fortunate in that category :-)

Prior to surgery I had no problems attaining or maintaining an erection, I tried a little stimulation this morning and did get some response so I am hoping for the best as time allows. My doctor really didnt cover anything at this time regarding sex....Question I have is how long after surgery do I dare try for orgasm? One source says 6 weeeks another 3 weeks. I read that it can damage the suture area at the bladder???????? What are we experiancing out there regarding a time frame?
Posted 1/2/2009 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
gee glabers, i am jealous, you had your surgery one day ahead of mine, and there you are talking about sex and orgasms, etc. On my 7th week anniversiary today, I still have a catheter tube shoved up my winky. Won't even allow my mind to wander to the subject of sex and errections till I can be freed of this plastic tube and bag. All kidding aside, I think you are doing fantastic for 7 weeks out, keep up the good work.

down not out, Welcome here, sounds like you are doing really well too. This is day 49 of my cath, so a 15 day one sounds blissful, not needing a pad so soon? You are on the good side of that issue. I can only speak for my dr., but he plans to bring up the whole sex thing at the 12 week mark, when he does the first post surgery psa. Sure you will get different answers here, as everyone's case and recovery seems to be so different.

david in sc
Posted 1/2/2009 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
I am now about 16 mos out and have noticed a continual improvement in erections, slow but steady. The quality of orgasms has also improved over the same time. I had no erections for 2-3 months, just some engorgement with oral meds, started injections which were very effective. Now erections are occurring with extended manual stimulation with no meds or injections, probably 80% pre-surgery quality but fade quickly when stimulation ceases. The quality of the orgasms is good though, perhaps better than pre-surgery in intensity/length. All I can say is that time is that I am thankful that my PSA is still undectable, and the ED is continuing to improve.
Randy
Posted 1/2/2009 6:27 PM (GMT 0)

Wow, this older thread has come to life with the appearance of three new posters.  Welcome to "PCa@47", "AussieBob" and   "down not out". shakehead

I am approaching the the "magic" two years past surgery.  My major complaint is still quality of orgasm.  It is obvious that there is a wide range of experience in regards to this.  I wonder if we can find some common definitions to better understand each other.

But I must say, after two years I am glad to be apparently cancer free.  I have a few urinary problems, and a few erectile problems, but I wake up every day with a smile. turn

Posted 1/2/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
glabbers,

I have to agree that sex is so much cleaner!  My wife had an aversion to the smell of semen - this stemmed from when she was pregnant with our first child.  Her morning sickness was intensified by its smell and she would gag and vomit.  I MISS MY SEMEN!! shakehead   I would seriously consider surgery to restore it if it were available.

Regards,

Aussiebob

Posted 1/2/2009 8:34 PM (GMT 0)

PCa@47 said...
I just came across this forum and thought I would join specifically for this topic. I was diagnosed in June 2008 and had nerve sparing surgery on Sept 16, 2008. I'm managing well through what I call my Quality of Life issues with Viagra assisted erections at three weeks following surgery, and incontinence resolving itself at 5 weeks. I continue to have good results with Viagra and have a very positive attitude that natural erections will get better as I continue to heal (very willing to give my body time to heal) BTW, 6 week PSA .04 ;-)

.....

- Tom

Hi Tom,

i must  add my 2 cents in here  as a result of your post ..

if  at 6 weeks you are able  even to feel any kind of erection that resambles anything from the past you ARE  a blessed man , and i can almost asure you that at 18 months (when usualy recovary return to  or being considered 100% time wise ) you will look back and say " how did i think to settle for what i have today "??

Most recovary path are starting at 6months and continue to 24 months out , and i am sure you will have better quality erections as wel as orgasms  as time takes its course to heal your nerves

You are wayyyyy   early in the process ...

patience ...Patience .. Patience   an Practice as well

Good Luck and keep us posted .

GB smilewinkgrin

Posted 1/3/2009 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
Aussiebob - I kind of miss the 'ol money-shots too. It always provided proof-of-pleasure in the form of a receipt for the wife. Woo hoo!

Hey, back in my US Navy days, I went to Perth W.A., Freemantle & surrounding areas a couple of times. It felt like home in a very far off place, especially after hitting all the orient-nations.
Posted 3/13/2009 6:04 PM (GMT 0)

He everyone,

I thought I would post an update on where I am today.  I'm three days away from being 6 month post operation and I have to say I'm very pleased with my progress.  I'm still getting very good viagra erections (super hard), but natural ones are still on about 25%.  Regarding the orgasm, I was having a very tough time with this early on, but over the last couple of weeks it has started to improve dramatically!  There is more lead up than now than right after the surgery, and the climax is way more satisfying than at first.

I think a couple of things attribute to this.  First, practice, practice, practice!  It's fun!  Secondly, I spoke with my doctor early on and he said more feeling would return as the nerve bundles continue to heal.  Honestly, I didn't know if I believed him as I fully believed it was because my prostate was gone.  But he was right, it's getting better!!!.  Finally, I think some of this can also be attributed to time and the way you think.  I remember shortly after the surgery constantly focusing on the parts of my orgasm that were missing.  This was extremely counter productive, but I'm guessing natural for that period.  For months I had problems reaching orgasm during IC and would have to finish manually (inability to finish at all was not uncommon!).  But now I'm completely focused on my body the way it is now and I've been able to reach climax during LC twice in the past wee (boy that's fun).  Gotta love the wife!

Well, I go for my six month checkup in two weeks and will have my PSA done.  Hoping that's still where it should be and I'll continue practicing!!!

Looking forward to that healing spurt at 8 - 10 months that I keep reading about ;-)

Best to all

- Tom   

Posted 3/13/2009 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again TOM ,
I love to say I TOLD YOU SO!!!! and i was hoping i was right with you as well as i figured that at 6 months mark you will start seeing a great difference .. you are as i said before on the right path for a full recovery ... you should consider yourself a blessed man indeed ...
Good Luck and i was happy to read your post and your great progress !!!

GB smilewinkgrin wink
Posted 3/13/2009 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you Tom! Nice to hear some positive news in that dept. I am 4 months out from surgery, and my "O" are getting longer and better progressively.
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