Greetings, Bea. Sorry you have to be here but you are among friends who all have something in common. I too recommend Dr. Walsh's book and also would recommend you get a second opinion. While I have great confidence in my brothers and sisters on this board because of what they have experienced first hand, there is nothing like hearing from a medical professional.
When I was diagnosed I weighed about 250 lbs (5' 11"). I had the open surgery and did fine. I also have a colleague who is quite a bit heavier than I am (maybe 400 lbs) and he had the perinium (I think that is how you spell it - they make the incision between your anus and your scrotum)version of the surgery. So it is possible to have surgery and get it out if that is what is the best treatment.
Do the research, get a good second opinion, make a decision that is right for both of you and then go for it. Let us know how things are going - you have found supporters here who have been there and welcome the opportunity to help in any way we can. David