Incontinence after 14 months of RP

Welcome to HW and the Forum. There's lots of info available here, using the search engine and currently in the threads concerning incontinence. I'm sure there will be several guys along shortly to help. For a starter, some more info would be helpful for those wishing to assist. How about making a signature listing the details and his stats in a concise post? Just go to the Control Panel, then Edit Profile, and scroll to the bottom, and fill in the signature box. That will be a great help.

How incontinent is he? Totally, a couple pads a day, a diaper, leaks when sneezing, spurting during intercourse?

Hmmm, 14 months or so post-surgery. That's a slow recovery, but statistics of guys here say that its on the slow side of normal. Has his recovery been slow but steady, or is what he got shortly after catheter removal? Has/did he do the Kegel exercises? He needs to keep kegeling. Several guys here have had bio-feedback type therapy to learn what muscles are used and how to retrain them. Maybe that would be something to explore? As aggravating as it seems, it may take longer- possibly 2 years or more to regain complete control. Sadly, in a few cases, control is never completely regained. As long as he is making steady, if slow progress , then don't give up hope. Lots of guys here have fought it for months, then seen dramatic, almost overnight successes.

He kegels but I always wonder if he is doing it right. A doctor said to kegel but anohter told him there is no benefit in doing it.
What is bio-feedback therapy?
Back in May he was doing better, about 3 pads/day. We were on vacation and he used the clamp a lot and also got very irritated due to heat and teh use of pads. We are back home now and he uses more pads. He is very unhappy ...

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'll pass them to him.

I have to say I agree with Engineer55. Sometimes the phychological aspect of haveing the pad keeps of form fighting the battle.

jeff T

Most doctors don't use the clamp because your body is not forced to use the sphinter to control urine.

I also used it for the first 3 or 4 weeks after catheter was removed, while I did my kegals. Good advice above on starting and stopping during urination. I then quit the clamp completely and went to pads. I quiclly was able to go to 1 or 2 pads a day.

The clamp may be kind of a crutch that doesn't force him and his body to squeeze when he needs to.

What a great and wonderful bunch you are!
Thank you, thank you, so much!
I have been telling him all about this site and the answers/comments I get and at least he does not feel that alone, you know what he is experiencing.

On the clamp: I agree with goodlife. He used the clamp for 5 weeks during our vacation and when we were back home and tried to used it less he was not holding anything. He’s using it very rarely now and is leaking less when he does not have the clamp.

When does leakage occur: It occurs when he bends, picks up heavy objects, walks, dance and when he is tired. He does not leak when is sitting or laying down, or when he’s biking. He uses 4 to 6 Tena men pads/day (It looks like a triangular pad) depending on the day’s activities.

Sep. 3 he has an appointment with a specialist to talk about surgery to control his incontinence. He’s concerned about going thru another surgery not knowing what is wrong and if the procedure is the appropriate one for him. No warranty …

I’ll encourage him to keep the kea gels. Last week he had a 3 pads day, we were very happy. The next day he started to fix the deck and place the railing on it, it was a 6 pads day.

There are several surgical interventions which include the pelvic sling and a urinary valve. Guys on this site have had success with both.

The Nurse Practitioner did Bio-feedback on me before surgery to get baseline data just in case I needed it. They stick on some electrodes down below (by now we have no modesty left) hook you to a computer and have your do kegels. You get a display on the computer screen that shows how long and how strong your contractions are and then you use the display to practice getting longer and stronger. Luckily I haven't needed that.

14 months is getting pretty much on the long side for so much incontinence and it seems to be cutting into his quality of life. I think it is definitely time to explore alternatives. Whatever he chooses, know that this group is here for you and your husband.

Being incontinent need not be a source of embarrassment or shame. The issue may be a temporary one that can be helped by the use of pelvic floor exercises and simple lifestyle changes, or it may be more serious, requiring surgery or other medical treatments. Whether it is temporary or permanent, you will likely need to make use of bladder weakness products for a period of time and, if so, you should choose products that are specifically designed with this problem in mind.

Barry, I am currently on a drug called "Cymbalta" which has helped with my stress incontenence.  I take it twice a day morning and at night.  I'm down to about 1 or 2 pads a day.  I'm back to working out and biking with some minor leakage but things seem to be improving.  What is "vesicare" and what are the other drugs you mention?  My urologist did not mention any of these.  I had to research the drug myself and my normal doctor said "try it".  I found the drug reading Dr Patrick Walsh's book "Surviving Prostrate Cancer"  Take Care and thanks for your reply.

RFP (Illinois)

Thanks for the info Barry. I have stress incontinence not urge but i will discuss Vesicare with my Doc. Appreciate any other drug info you learn about.
RFP