HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

confused wife

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 4/30/2011 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
 

     My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it is ST2.We were given options for treatment like surgery,external beam radiaton,brachytherapy seed implantation or hormone treatment.Our uro was giving us time to decide on what treatment we want.I am so confused and didn't know what's best for my husband.He will be 55 yrs old this June.

I hope somebody can suggest on what's the best option  based on their experiences..

I would gladly appreciate any suggestions for I am really at lost right now.

 

Posted 4/30/2011 12:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hay Cutie...always wanted to say that...
We need som more info; PSA, Gleason, would be helpful..
Hero
Posted 4/30/2011 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
It's a treatable disease and regardless of your choice, chances are that he'll do fine. You have a ton to learn about over the next few weeks and many specialists to talk with. In two weeks time you will have a plan and start feeling much better about the process. It is a process and once you get going you won't look back.

Hard to tell without numbers but going by age alone, assuming it isn't very advanced, I would recommend surgery because he's young.
Posted 4/30/2011 1:45 AM (GMT 0)

Herophilus said...
Hay Cutie...always wanted to say that...
We need som more info; PSA, Gleason, would be helpful..
Hero

checked out your blog, very cool

"I have worked very hard to get in shape for this trip. I was running 24 miles a week, and this past summer I averaged at least 70 miles a week on the bicycle. The surgically altered environment that my body operates in has me prone to sudden weight gains. I’m also prone to anxiety at the development of any new areas of discomfort for fear of metastatic disease. But regardless of the eventual end, I’m more or less resolved to make the best of things. Despite what others may say, Dj would tell you that this isn’t necessarily my nature; admittedly I’m a negative person on such matters. Luckily I really do have the endless support of my wife, family and friends. The support was obvious the day of surgery, a significant portion of the waiting room at the hospital was filled with my family and friends including guys that I had spent the last 25 years camping and fishing with, Guys that helped raise my kids, Guys that came because...just because. It didn’t end with the hospital…my recovery at home was highlighted with frequent visits from friends that came to give Dj a break, (you’d think I was a whiner or something), or to bring me some reading material. Lots of good stuff happened to me during my immediate recovery from a humanistic perspective. Lots of good stuff! So here I sit, 1700 miles from home on a day more beautiful than I deserve. I’m trying to “live each day to the fullest!” Fortunately I ONLY have prostate cancer!"

Yeah!

Post Edited (davidg) : 4/29/2011 7:48:41 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/30/2011 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
First of all welcome to the club that hates to get new members. Everyone here (and our partners) has gone through what you are going through so you are among friends who understand.

Understand that PC is slow and very treatable. This means that your husband has lots of options and lots of time to consider them.

If you look at the topics at the top of the topics list you will find some lists with suggested readings. Books that you can buy or get from your library. That is one of the first things that we encourage here -- learn, learn, learn.

There is no one right treatment. I had surgery and am happy with my choice. My younger brother had seeds and is happy with his choice. That is the issue with PC many good choices.

So, take your time, become informed, and know that we are here for you and your husband.
Posted 4/30/2011 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
welcome, and i ditto geezer's remarks. good luck ahead
Posted 4/30/2011 11:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cutie and welcome to HW.  Sorry you have to be here but you will find lots of help and caring people on this site.

As some others have said, if you will post some of the pertinent stats re your hubby I think you will better answers from us.  Also please be cautious here and on any other internet sites.  One poster already told you, "I would recommend surgery because he's young."  That comment is a bit premature and even irresponsible in my opinion.

So, please come back and let us know some specifics including any questions and I think you will  be pleased with what you can learn here.

Tudpock (Jim)

Posted 4/30/2011 11:53 AM (GMT 0)
Cutie, there are quite a few women here who will hopefully chime in soon.

I too am a wife and remember well the confusion that came when my husband was diagnosed three years ago (age 57) and I began learning about PCa.

First thing to do is get a copy of your husband's biopsy report, and sit down with the urologist to have it all explained. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to ask for clarification...we spent an hour with our urologist about two weeks after the diagnosis to discuss the results in detail, what they mean, and walk through the options. Hormone therapy was never mentioned but surgery, radiation and what is called active surveillance were. My husband knew from the get-go that he wanted surgery so we focused more on the pros and cons of that particular form of treatment.

The biopsy report will give you the Gleason score of your husband's disease. This is an important piece of information as is his PSA history (although at age 55 there might not be too much history unless he's been having his PSA checked every year for a while). The number of positive cores as well as the location of those cores are also important pieces of the puzzle.

I do hope you'll come back and post a bit more. While no one here should suggest any particular form of treatment or give medical advice, we can certainly share our own experience and help you through this important decision.
Posted 4/30/2011 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cutie,

My husband was diagnosed at 49 and the shock was very great,  and also the confusion. For a very long time I kept wishing it was "yesterday" when we didn't have to deal with it all, or make any of these decisions.

In addition to what others have suggested  for now however, as you are gathering information and learning about the options,  write down all your questions as they come up - everything and anything you think of. Once you have some sort of suggested plan or treatment suggested by any doctor, check it out with both patients or others who have had that treatment (local support groups often have members willing to have a phone conversation sometimes) and other Specialists. They (doctors) all know who is good with what - and even though all speciaists have their biases and preferences,  the honest, accountable ones don't mind patients being fully informed. Be very wary of doctors however, who do not have time to fully answer your hubby's and your questions. We found we needed to check out all info given to us, about my husband's unique situation thoroughly,  at least twice or 3 times if the info conflicted. Eventually after several months we made a decision, and now.. believe it or not, prostate cancer is not the only thing on our minds each day - but it was for a very long time. We found the help and support here invaluable,  and I hope you are able to find some answers, and seek some support when you need it. It is a very confusing time, but the more informed you are the better it gets, and at least you are not being pressured into a decision at the moment.  It is also important to look after your own health so you can be there for your hubby, and support him in whatever decision he eventually comes to. A warm welcome to this forum. and let us know how you get on. Good luck and take care. Lana

PS. Edited only due to my "upside down" spelling mistakes initially!

 

Posted 4/30/2011 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
I feel a little bit relieved after reading all your responses.The result was truly a great shock for us but I have to be strong for my husband's sake and joining here will really be a great help for us.In just a aday I learned a lot from here.I was planning to have a 2nd opinion with another Uro and it was scheduled on May 10.I have alot of questions that weren't answered from our Uro.He had a biopsy last April 14.It was his first time to have the DRE.They didn't give us a copy of the PSA so I don't know if he had that.I hope in the next Uro all my questions will be answered.Thank you again for the inspiring words helped me alot!
_________________________________________
Prostate:Left Base Gleason Score 6 (over all)1 of 2 cores involved focusing 1 mm(3% of the biopsy)Perineural invasion:none Left Apex 2 of 2 cores involved foci measuring 8mm and 5 mm(43%of the biopsy) perineural Invasion: present 2 0f 2 cores involved Left mid 1 of 2 cores involved (17% of the biopsy)Perineural invasion:none
Posted 4/30/2011 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
Cutie Pie #24 (you must have alot of sisters-LOL)

Go down the forum board to TC-LasVegas post (Tony)- Doctor did you hear me????

It is worth reading and am very familar with the becoming a proactive type (LOL).

Post Edited (zufus) : 4/30/2011 9:59:58 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/30/2011 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Cutie,

Call and ask for his specific PSA number/reading. Also any PSA test results that he may have had prior. Then add them to the info you have included above and share them on this site. A lot more information will be coming your way as this crowd understands more about your husband's "numbers".

Joe
Posted 5/1/2011 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi cutie,when I was first diagnosed with pc my one thought was to get the thing out of my body !!! As the weeks progressed I became aware that my desease had spread out of the prostate so many options,ie surgery or radiation were taken away from me.If at the time the urologist had offered to RUSH in and remove my prostate I would have had surgery.Now on reflection I would take much more time to make my choice of treatment.I've just finished a book called invasion of the prostate snatchers and there are some pretty good statistics for various outcomes from differing treatment choices.I would recommend this book as it changed my initial view.
I wish you both the very best of luck
Posted 5/1/2011 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi cutie,when I was first diagnosed with pc my one thought was to get the thing out of my body !!! As the weeks progressed I became aware that my desease had spread out of the prostate so many options,ie surgery or radiation were taken away from me.If at the time the urologist had offered to RUSH in and remove my prostate I would have had surgery.Now on reflection I would take much more time to make my choice of treatment.I've just finished a book called invasion of the prostate snatchers and there are some pretty good statistics for various outcomes from differing treatment choices.I would recommend this book as it changed my initial view.
I wish you both the very best of luck
Posted 5/2/2011 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
cutie24- PSA (prostate specific antigen) is one of the components of blood. Your 2nd opinion doc will have to know this value so I suggest you look through your husband's paperwork from the first urologist and call his/her the office if you can't find it. Only the largest clinics seem to be able to ascertain this value the same day the blood is drawn; I believe the others, although they can read other blood values the same day, have to send the sample out to have PSA and testosterone read.

Good luck, and.............calm down.

-Les
Posted 7/16/2011 6:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hello again, Cutie!  I see you started this thread at an earlier date.  If you look at your second thread, you will read my greeting response to you.  I give more information about our journey.  And it really is a journey together! 

Much blessings,

Aimzee

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply