CR*P and the 7 words George Carlin said we can't say are best to describe my PSA results

4 point FARKIN 9 is the result of today's PSA test.

I was not surprised to see that my PSA had increased. I mean after all, it has been going up ever since my surgery, SRT, MET radiation and so on. But that little dip of .4 last month sure was good news and I hoped to at least keep it somewhere along a flat line for a while.

So guys, even with my Every Day is A Bonus mentality, I have to say that today's bonus day really sux.

I don't vent, get angry or frustrated very often, but man I am all of those things today. I really don't want to wait til Monday's appt with my Onco by spending my time praying that the Bone Scan I had done today will have found a MET or two that would explain this farkin PSA increase.

I DO NOT WANT HORMONE THERAPY

My house is filled with enough issues between my wife and my cancers. I am dealing just fine with things on a physical and emotional level right now. I really don't want anything that is going to screw with my emotions and physicality. I need everything I have at present to continue to make sure that my wife and I enjoy every day to the max.

HT was discussed at length among those of us who gathered at Jeff's house in Baton Rouge. Now I am not looking to pick a fight or argue with anyone or challenge anyone. This is one of those things where IT IS JUST MY OPINION and that's all.

All of us here will talk about just everything. We are open in our discussions about continence, ED, libidos, desires, dribbles, and so on. But, have we as MANLY MEN really opened up about the side effects issues associated with HT. It is that unknown that bothers me, scares me and worries the crap out of me.

Thanks guys for letting me vent. I needed someone to talk to like this, about this.

My caregiver side of me just won't let me go off on this with my wife. She is as deeply upset as I am. But she is going through so much fighting her own cancer battles I can't really let her try to get involved fighting mine. Don't get me wrong, I am not shutting her out by any stretch of the imagine. I just don't think she needs to know and see how truly p*ssed off I am right now.

So Monday I will sit down with my Onco and see what he has to say. Not much else I can do at this point for a few days.

Thanks for listening. I love you guys more than you will ever know.

Sonny

Sonny - bubba - we're with you... Feel your pain...

Take a deep breath - couple shots of something and go kick the cat. You'll feel better in no time.

All kidding aside -  let us know about the Monday meeting.

Sonny, you already know how I feel from talking with you. I am with you, and Lynn, for the full distance. Whatever you decide to do, or not to do, is ok with me. Even though are cases are different at one level, but the same in may ways, we both seem to have cancers that are bent hell on running away. And like you, and as you said above, I DON'T WANT HT either. And like you, I will see my new higher level oncologist next week, and let him or her say whatever they want to say. I want to listen, more than I want to talk.

Venting is part of the HW Prostate Cancer membership package that we enjoy. So you have a reason to be pissed and upset, you are dealing with a very disturbing spike and trend.

My best to you and Lynn, as always.

David in SC

Pretty sad when you have to hope for a met.

As you said, maybe it would explain the rise and you could zap it.

This sucks.

I'm so sorry, Sonny. You don't need this crap at this time.

Mel

Sonny, unwelcome news, for sure. Maybe there's some HT guys who can share their experiences that it wasn't all tearful meltdowns, enlarged breasts and such. Know that you and she are both in my prayers.

James and Rob, thanks guys. I ain't going anywhere any time soon. At least that is my plan.

Sonny

Sonny:

If you want to shoot me an e-mail, my address is there. I have been there and probably will again so I know what you are going through.

Jack

Good vent Sonny and hope you feel a little better letting it rip. Sorry to hear the news and I also know that whatever the answer is for you, you will make the call. Best to you and Lynn my friend.

Michael

Sonny, I'm so very sorry to read about your PSA result.

Please try to stay positive and do whatever you can to keep as well as possible.

Very disheartening, all this stuff.

Mary.

Sonny
My heart goes out to you. We had surgery days apart, and similar numbers. You had the + margin, but the radiation should have zapped that. Even though mine were negative my PSA is starting to nudge up, and I suspect I'm following in your footsteps, just a ways back.

I'm glad you're able to vent your anger on this board. No judgment, no apologies, you have a right to express exactly how you're feeling about this crappy situation.

So, hang in there as best you can, brother, and know that many here have you and your wife in our thoughts and prayers.

Sonny, I'm not happy with this news. I can't go shrimping either, but I will yell extra loud at the neighbor's dog when it barks at 2 a.m. --- you may hear the echos in Florida.

Some days are diamonds, some stones. I pray this stone will soon revert to diamond status for you.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

SONNY:
sorry to hear the news - but glad you are comfortable enough to vent your feelings - you have a lot on your plate -hopefully the appointment with the Onc will clear the cobwebs and help you see a path - or maybe a break - juggling one life is hard enough - but two can be so tiring - vent away -
- I found this on the internet and thought of you and Lynn.
hugs,
BRONSON

internet source said...
EACH AND EVERY DAY IS A BONUS

Author: Denise Potter

With you
Each and everyday is a bonus -
Whether it be for one moment,
One day or a million moments.
Being with you makes me
Feel new and bright.
Being able to be just us.
With you we both create
A wealth of warmth
Rising from our hearts.
A happy atmosphere of love.
Each and everyday is a bonus.
I feel lucky and alive.
You fill me with youth
And masses and masses of
Tender loving care.
I treasure every moment with you.
Thank you for coming into my life.

Post Edited (tatt2man) : 5/20/2011 4:18:28 AM (GMT-6)

Sonny, You already know my thoughts.. Man some days just suxs. Take a deep breath hold on to that beautiful wife, tomorrow the sun will be a bit brighter and you will had some of the spider webs cleared from your head and you can process this stuff a bit easier.

You know I am here if there is anything I can do to help.

Pat and I send out love to You and Lynn.

Cajun Jeff