One week out from surgery and feeling very scared....

HD, mine is scheduled 2 days prior to yours.
I'm kinda scared and worried also.
I've been through lower back and neck surgery, and wasn't this scared.
However, I was in great pain prior to those operations and just wanted to stop the hurt.
Now I don't feel like there's a problem, I have to take some guys word for it.
Let's keep in touch and compare notes as we begin this journey into the unknown.
Hopefully our quality of life will be as close to what it is now as possible.
That's what scares me the most, what will my quality of life be like after this procedure?
Good luck and I'll talk at ya later.

I had a lot of worries about the surgery after I decided that surgery was the best thing to do in my case. How much of a problem would incontinence be? How long would it take to work through it? Erections? Would that be the end of them? All kinds of "what ifs". Surgery kept coming up in my mind as the best way to deal with my circumstances so I stayed with that decision. My surgeon did a very good job. I had some discomfort afterwards for a while, but hey, it was major surgery. The bladder control problems lasted a much shorter time than I feared it would take to regain control. Erections are not quite like they were before the surgery but not a major problem. None of the problems turned out as bad as I feared they would but it just took some time to work through them. Having worries is completely normal but don't lose sight of the fact that those worries are probably a lot worse than things will actually turn out.

Being it will only be like 51 days from dx to treatment just be sure you have complete confidence in the radical surgery you are about to experience. I needed over 4 months and took 5 before I was comfortable with my choice. The fact that I had basically changed my mind twice prior to the final choice makes me question anyone who rushes so quick into surgery. At 7 weeks IMHO you are still under too much pressure from family, friends and your urologist to choose. One really needs to be less emotional after greater thought and perspective that only more time allows. This can be a life altering decision there are no do overs afterward.


Good luck .

Thanks everyone for the advice and support you have given. Outside of this board, my wife, a few very close friends, and my boss at work, there is no one else that knows my situation.  There has been NO pressure from anyone pushing me in one direction or the other, not even from the doctors. Like was mentioned earlier, I've just been suffering from a case of information overload / analysis paralysis.

The decision has been made, the operation has been scheduled, and I'm am ready to play the cards.

Hi John,

I remember having the same feelings as you are experiencing before my surgery.  It is frightening.

However, it helped me to remind myself that I had cancer.  No matter how slow moving or early the cancer may be, at our age the chance that we will have to do something about it is high.  I think it is easier in that sense for young men.  Most stats are quoted at 5 or 10 years, you and I may have 30 years or more of life expectancy left.

Also bear in mind that after surgery, many gleason scores are upgraded.  I was upgraded from a 3/3 to a 3/4.  Any gleason 4 cancer is dangerous. 

You have the advantage over me that your psa is lower. 

You do have to be relatively sure of your decision, but with this disease there are no black and white answers.  At some point, you have to adopt the attitude of letting go.  Make the decision and then go with it.  The process will not be pleasant but it is absolutely endurable and there are good things coming after.

Only you can decide when you have reached that point.  Control is an illusion with this disease.  Control what you can and then make a decision and commit to it.  Once you decide, your energies should go to executing on the decision and maximizing your chances for a full recovery.

Many men have preceded you.  Heed their lesson that you are much stronger and resilient then you think!

All my best,

Retire

This is day ten out from surgery. I got the catheter and staples out today. some relief, but still looking for the faucet, they removed the original. I am a bit disappointed that I still have pain when trying to pee and make a BM. so far not much luck with either. Long process getting things reconnected and working again for this carcass.
Hang in there, getting rid of a bad prostate before it becomes impossible to do is not a good decision. frying all the tissue around it isn't much of a choice either. Go for it pal. we would have died of cancer if we'd done nothing and every choice has its own consequences. I am hoping for the best.

I had my pre-op stuff today.  They took some blood, did an EKG (said I was "textbook", among the best they've seen in 12 years), blood pressure (120 / 78), chest x-rays, and the typical questionnaire (do you smoke, have heart disease, history of stroke, etc.).  They asked me if I've been under any stress lately.  You mean besides being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness with no clear way of eliminating it?  You mean THAT?

I check into the hospital at 11:30 on Thursday with surgery scheduled for 1:30.  With luck, I hope to be walking around the ward that night and scheduled for release on Friday.  That's of course assumming that everything goes as planned and without any complications.

Thanks everyone for the support you've provided.  Now if I can just get through this week I know I'll be OK.

HD-Rider,

Just wanting to wish you well, Good Luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ejR01W8fks

HdRider:

We will be waiting for you on the other side.

HD, your pre-op report sounds very good. It is a lot of important stuff in your favor for going through the surgery and recovery after the surgery. The worries and emotional ups and downs of dealing with the diagnosis, deciding which way to go, the waiting for the day of surgery, and all the other things that go through your mind before and after surgery can be tough to deal with. What goes through one's mind can be more of a problem to deal with than the actual surgery and recovery.

Good luck on your surgery HD, we are routing for you!