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Post Prostatectomy good erction,but mediocore orgasm

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Posted 12/11/2011 1:58 PM (GMT 0)

Post Robotic Prostectomy 1.5years I have good erection,but not so good orgasm. Ususally very weak and quick. Any Comments.

Posted 12/11/2011 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Most of your fellow travelers look upon you with envy...
Posted 12/11/2011 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Could be the meds. Talk to you're doctor.
Posted 12/11/2011 7:15 PM (GMT 0)
Same here.
Never really had and trouble getting an erection since about 2 weeks after surgery.
But never really had an orgasm since surgery either. It's basically a direct journey from arousal to recovery phase, with no climax and often with pain instead of orgasm.
Told docs ages ago. Theyn said it would get better. It hasn't. But I keep trying.

I was told before hand that even if I couldn't get an erection it would still be possible to have orgasms with a flaccid penis.

Still wondering.

Alf
Posted 12/11/2011 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
May sound cold, but be thankful for what you have. Things can only get better. Orgasms can be affected by mental states as well.
Posted 12/11/2011 10:13 PM (GMT 0)
I'm at a similar time frame since surgery and have no erection issues ( not quite as firm as pre op), sometimes its intense and sometimes its such a mild orgasm I am left wanting. I really think its a mental thing, I'm gratefull for what I have in that department but I still leak after 18 months. Its a crap shoot, we do the best we can with what we have.

r

Posted 12/12/2011 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
My orgasms have been so poor since surgery I stopped going for one duing intercourse.  I think it's at least partially a psychological thing, but the experience of an orgasm just isn't the same.

The benefit is that my libido doesn't drop.  My wife enjoys activities after her orgasm, so it's a net positive for me.  I'll choke the chicken from time to time, but other than the physical release, the pleasure sensation is absent.

Sorry if it's TMI, but I recommend at least trying things without having an orgasm.  It works for me. And my wife likes the fact that I remain very interested throughout the "encounter". :)

Posted 12/12/2011 7:37 AM (GMT 0)
Frankly, I think that the sureons left some nerves that make erections and severed or damged some other ones, including the ones that "make" orgasms. I know there are separate groups of nerves for these different "bodily functions", but they still go through the same area, and could ahve been damaged. I know the nerves that control my BMs have been affected a bit, and I also have an area of my perineum that seems to feel numb, and my anus can feel very off at times.So I do not think my lack of orgasms is a brain thing at all.

I think the "be grateful for what you've got" comment is kind of missing the point. For my wife and me, the pleasure of sex, ther very reason for doing it comes from having or intending to have our orgasms not from the presence of an erection. We have substitutes for penises, but not for orgasms. I'd rather be able to have orgasms than erections, and I wonder if this is true for Cobden and others.

As for suggestions, I'll try and use polite language:
There are many ways that the body and the penis can be orientated during sexual activity and in some I get more pain and in others more pleasure. So why not try experimenting with alternative positions. I don't mean get out the Karma Sutra, but simple changes such as try lying on your side or sitting. Even try using the left hand!

Alf
Posted 12/12/2011 12:31 PM (GMT 0)
Alf,

It's not that I don't understand, it's that it's like an amputee complaining he can't dance like he used to. Things will never be the same.

In my book, the cure is the ultimate goal. Yes, there are some side effects to that, but they are all secondary. I will sacrifice my orgasm quality for a cure. I have had to learn to make love to my wife in a different way. For too long, the goal of my sexual activity was to have a great orgasm for me. Now, my goal has become making my wife achieve whatever she needs or wants.

Do I miss them ? Of course I do. Will missing them do any good ? Most likely not. It's time for me to get on with life today, and forget about what was. I still have a lot of living (and loving) to do. I am grateful for every day I have with a low PSA, particularly as a Gleason 9.

Our frame of mind can affect every facet of our life.
Posted 12/12/2011 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
The timing of this thread is quite a coincidence.

I am 4.5 weeks out. Since the cath came out I have been manually stimulating myself, to help with the blood flow (I am also on Cialis 20mg every 3rd day). I've never been able to achieve more than half-staff. Also it was not satisfying in any way, never had 'the' feeling or nearly so.

Yesterday morning my wife jumped into the shower with me, and manually brought me to orgasm, quickly, and without erection. The orgasm itself was very dissatisfying (I wasn't even 100% sure I reached climax, until afterward when I had to make her stop because it was too sensitive for her to continue).

The rest of the day, I had some minor pain in the tip of the penis, and also seemed to leak at twice the normal rate.

Two points I want to make. 1- the results for the day (although very early in my journey) were very depressing to me. I know it will get better, or I will learn to live with it, but for right now, I am not feeling very good.

2 - Manually stimulating myself brought nearly nothing, no erection, nor any advance toward argasm (that I could feel). BUT... with my wife's touch, I was able to orgasm, and it made me realize that (as Yogi said) "50% of this game is half mental". and I will work on the mind over matter thing, to bring myself back to the 'old' me (or at least a happier me).

Thanks for listening.
Posted 12/12/2011 1:09 PM (GMT 0)
Cobden and all.........I too experienced the frustration of orgasms that had changed drastically from before my surgery. For a while, I could have an orgasm w/o erection, but they were "duds" as expressed. The, as my erectile function slowly returned, I began to experiment through self-stimulation (medicinal, of course), and found that different pressure points (some simultaneous) produce different, but more intense sensations. Once I figured out what worked and what didn't, I communicated with my wife and we employed those techniques both manually and orally. Now, most orgasms are longer lasting and more intense than before. Not all the time, mind you, but quite often. Intercourse usually produces the least satisfying of all, but even those can be good at times. Bottom line: don't give up, and keep experimenting and communicating.

Arnie in DE

Posted 12/12/2011 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Goodlife - absolutely! Lack of orgasm is a price I can pay to be alive.
However, since being here I've detected that the main thing on most people's mind when it comes to side-effects is ED, so it's strange to discover that it's actually a bigger deal for many to have no orgasms. (Which was never mentioned as a side effect before treatment)
Alf
Posted 12/12/2011 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
This is an interesting topic to me. For me, my experiences fall into 3 categories:

1. For some reason, since my RP, I am very, very sensitive (in a good way) to touch and stimulation. I can combine that with slightly contracting/twitching my pelvic floor muscles (i.e. Kegels) and get waves of sensations that are pretty darn good approximations of orgasms. My pelvic muscles seem especially well developed, strong, and controllable -- probably from all the Kegels. The good thing about this approach is I can do it multiple times and can make it last a long time. These never fail for me and are always a good option. And, I can proceed with 2 and 3 below after I have enjoyed this for a while.

2. As others mention, and most of the time for me, my "traditional" orgasm peaks and goes away very fast .. not very satisfying but better than nothing.

3. Only occasionally/rarely: I have an orgasm that is beyond amazing .. so intense I can barely get through it .. far beyond the old days. I want more of these .. not sure what to do to accomplish that. It may be mental since these tend to happen when I am not concentrating or worrying about it .. they just surprise me. Wonderful when it does happen .. just not very often.

All of this is independent of erection (pump or trimix) or no erection.

Finally, I am on HT, so I presume the lack of testosterone messes with my orgasms. But, only time will tell, when I finally get off HT.

Posted 12/13/2011 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
COBDEN RESPONSE- I TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED AND I AM HAPPY WITH THE FACT THAT SO FAR MY PSA IS UNDECTECTABLE. WHAT IS ODD IS THAT IT TOOK about ONE YR BEFORE I COULD GET RELATIVLEY HARD, BEFORE THAT SOMETIMES DURING OUR SEX MY ORGASMS WOULD BE NICE-TINGLES ETC. YET AS I GOT MORE HARD MY ORGASMS GOT WORSE. OF COURSE THINGS ARE NOT NEARLY AS GOOD AS  PRE-OP, BUT THANK GOD FOR LIFE AND I AM THANKFUL FOR WHAT IS GOING WELL.  ANY FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
Posted 12/13/2011 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
eyes   I seem to be the reverse,no wood unless I USE trimix or a pump which doesn't last,but the org is enjoyable at least,I'M  7 MONTHS since RALP so hoping for the best. I am happy tp be in the "0" club most of all,When I read other post on here I give thanks I'LL see my grandkids grow up and for now I'M DONE WITH TREATMENTS.Every day is a gift,especialy if your fishing!

God bless

GAMMS wink

Posted 12/13/2011 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
i actually find the orgasms typically more intense. What I miss is actually ejaculating. At first I didn't miss it, but after 11 months of dry orgasms I can admit that although not messy, the dry variation lacks in overall impact...
Posted 12/14/2011 12:23 AM (GMT 0)
     I guess im just thankful that i can have an erection and an orgasm.Before the surgery I thought about Ed more then i thought about having Cancer.For now, no matter how intense it is,Im just glad that i can still get it up without meds and can still have the big orgasm which still feel good.Now if i can get control of the incont. life would surely be alot blessing.
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