SubicSquid---I feel for you; Hang in there!
I had some SERIOUS bladder-urgency problems (INTENSE every half-hour or so all throught the day AND night, with but dribble to show for it) with my Pca intruding into my bladder, so was prescribed Vesicare (and radiation). It took a few days to kick in, but it quelled the "demon" and I went from up-eight-times-a-night to twice a night. I did unknowingly wet myself, however, for the first week or so. I thought I was "doomed" to man-diapers, but I have gone two months now without a repeat (I did go off the Vesicare about a month ago-radiation treatment killing off the offending lesion causing the urgency). The "drying-out" of the mouth and esophagus was an anxiety-producing side effect--I had food "caught" halfway down the throat MANY times until I "learned" to "grease" the tract with fluids before I ate, and ate SLOWLY. Once I stopped the Vesicare, "normal" eating resumed!
I am GRATEFUL for the Vesicare and tolerated its side-effects.