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Taking a Sabbatical from HW

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Posted 5/13/2012 1:47 AM (GMT 0)
Good luck to you. Thanks for your detailed answer to my question yesterday. Your statistics look too close to my husband's for comfort and I'm very scared. I'm hoping with his lower pre-surgery psas that were not rising and lower gleason, the result might be different. I appreciate your detailed explanation.

I wish the best for you.
Posted 5/13/2012 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
David, sorry to hear you are taking a break but I do understand. Hopefully you will get a break and come back and keep us posted. I have read your posts on your pc journey.
Posted 5/13/2012 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
David...I don't post here too much but do read a lot and when I do post I almost always get an answer or honest opinion from you. I know its easy for guys to want to put out their story but you take the time to help others too.

As far as a few that won't back off...personally I use the ignore button but have never had to do that here. Best of luck to you and thanks for your support with the new guys! Chris
Posted 5/13/2012 3:01 AM (GMT 0)
melg - if that is the case, hopefully your husband will do well, and I hope he does. I wish the best, both for him and you.

casper - the easy answer would be to use the "ignore" button, i obviously know its there and what its for, but i just can't subscribe to any form of censorship, even if it is self-imposed. it's a matter of principle with me. plus when you use the ignore, then certain posts to certain threads don't make as much sense, as other people are answering the people that you have on "ignore", and can make it harder to follow.

david
Posted 5/13/2012 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
I certainly understand your wanting to back off for awhile. I've been having the same thoughts about this forum. I log in here less these days than when I first found it. Party due to some of the really strange and sometimes rude things people post. Also there are times that I just don't feel like I have anything really contribute that won't be criticized, looked down on or ignored. I don't post new threads here any more because of some of the less than helpful replies I received.

But then that happens on a lot of on-line forums. The distance of a keyboard and not being in the same room with the person you're communicating with seems to give some people permission to say things that are - well I won't complete that sentence. Recently I did delete my account on a woodworking forum because of some really "inappropriate" and just mean spirited comments I received.

I hope you find the answers you need and find another book to write.

I've been in conversation with a publisher myself and soon hope to be writing what might be my first book (non-fiction technical thingy) and am likely to be spending a lot of time there and not here. Partly because I've always wanted to write a book and because lately I've been feeling the need to move beyond PC.

All the best,
Andrew
Posted 5/13/2012 3:26 AM (GMT 0)
Andrew,

Good luck if you decide to pursue writing a book. It's kind of a funny thing, I almost never ever read fiction, but constantly read non-fiction, but when I write, I only write fiction. I been encouraged by many to take on some non-fiction topics, but so far, just can't get in the mindset to do so.

david
Posted 5/13/2012 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
David,

Your absence will be sorely missed. You have been a champ and so unselfish reaching out to all of us that came to HW in shock and in horror with our diagnosis and how to even proceed. You have been a great voice among the dark abyss giving hope to all of us that first came through the door. You always gave me sound advice, compassion, hope and best wishes to continue my reading and learning quest regarding PCa.

It is tragic that a couple of people can alter your good works. Isn't that the case with all of us in life, a few know it alls can take away what we pride ourselves in.

Have a good break, like Jeff the Corvette man said, we all do it. Enjoy the peace and solitude for the season that you are gone and the rest of us will try to do collectively what you have done so well on your own.

Best wishes on your journey. May it bring sunshine and great lessons that only can be learned in adversity and hopefully this cancer experience makes us all more compassionate and kinder to all man kind.

Thank you for all that you have done and will continue to do when you feel it is right to return.
Posted 5/13/2012 3:36 AM (GMT 0)

Purgatory said...
Andrew,

Good luck if you decide to pursue writing a book. It's kind of a funny thing, I almost never ever read fiction, but constantly read non-fiction, but when I write, I only write fiction. I been encouraged by many to take on some non-fiction topics, but so far, just can't get in the mindset to do so.

david

What is strange about my current project is that I've always wanted to write fiction but no publisher has ever liked my fiction. Then I send in a half baked suggestion for a non-fiction and presto the editor starts emailing me regularly. Just finished the formal outline and am starting on a first daft this week.

Andrew
Posted 5/13/2012 4:12 AM (GMT 0)
I wish you well with your sabbatical, David
Jeff
Posted 5/13/2012 4:28 AM (GMT 0)
David, Thanks for all your encouragement and wisdom.
Enjoy your hiatus

Peace
Posted 5/13/2012 4:33 AM (GMT 0)
wishing you well and thank you for welcoming me to HW. I'm rather new at this and still trying to sort things out, you echoed my uro's recommendation exactly. I went to U of M Comprehensive Cancer Center and got same recommendation there. I appreciate the advice you offered. Something I learned long ago, advice given can be free, but taken may be costly. I met a cancer nurse at a cancer fundraiser last night that was impressed with my knowledge, I told her whatever I know I learned from HW. I still count on the doctors, though. You were one of two people that welcomed me to this forum and I thank both of you for reaching out to me when I needed a hand to hold other than my wife's. Stay well!
Posted 5/13/2012 5:17 AM (GMT 0)
David,

It is unfortunate that a couple of guys have affected you this way. I have to say that at least one of them argue with anything I bring up. I think you nailed it....they enjoy the verbal sparring and confrontation so it is not just you. I believe the second poster you are thinking of is well-meaning but does not know when to back off at times. It is how he says things to you that cause you distress. I do think he means well and ironically is thinking of your welfare. With the first guy I mentioned above, his arguments are against current concensus standards showing a flagrant bias towards one therapy. My fear is that new posters will listen to him and get overtreated due to being scared. I have been in health care for 35 years and they are so off base and potentially dangerous to men that are vulnerable.
Who knows, maybe the guys I think you are referring to are not the ones.
David you are a very generous soul and I immensely respect you and feel your compassion to new posters is more of a blessing to them than you will ever know.

Come back soon,
Paul
Posted 5/13/2012 5:40 AM (GMT 0)
devasted, (comment removed - 142).

andrew - such is the strange world of writers and publishers.

paul - my very own oncologist thinks that type of person you described - is very well dangerous in a forumn like this, that type of person portrays themselves as having some special knowledge or gift, and comes across as an expert. Having a Masters Degree in Google doesn't make one a doctor, i understand. as far as some of the "good meaning ones", the good book also says out of the mouth procedeth the heart. there's always a reason why someone will slip that hurting remark, i don't find it all that innocent personal. real friends don't do dirty to real friends, i choose to use the word "friend" carefully in my life

eagle - personally feel, that reaching out to that new person that very first time, is the most important contact we will ever have with them. not telling that what to do, or trying to get them to doubt their treatment choice or to distrust their doctor's advice. i still understand the sheer fear and shock and horror of having a cancer diagnosis, having experienced it 4 times in the past 12 years. that part never gets easier

david

Post Edited By Moderator (142) : 5/13/2012 11:18:53 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/13/2012 5:47 AM (GMT 0)
David,

You've already shown far more patience than I have. Hope you'll still check in on Wednesdays. (Though this coming Weds I will be busy volunteering at the local school.) Good luck!

DJ
Posted 5/13/2012 5:52 AM (GMT 0)
dj, haven't decided about "chat nights" yet. probably see how i feel on a given week, and if i remember to check. will miss talking with you.

david
Posted 5/13/2012 6:18 AM (GMT 0)
thx David for your attention and caring
Posted 5/13/2012 7:09 AM (GMT 0)
David
Posting this as ever with the trans-atlantic time difference so I hope to catch you.
I too will miss your presence and wish you all the best.
Alf
Posted 5/13/2012 7:22 AM (GMT 0)
David,

I am relatively new to HW and have thoroughly enjoyed reading your

Posts. Thank you.

I also have great respect for the honesty and courage you have displayed in your very arduous PC journey and your empathy for others dealing with PC and its side-effects.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your continuing battle.

Godspeed,

Bob

 

Posted 5/13/2012 8:40 AM (GMT 0)
I do hope that all members, new and old alike, realize this is just a forum and everyone will have their own opinion and voice said opinions pretty freely at times.

To the members, be your own advocate. Educate yourselves and as you post and receive replies; learn to distinguish what to take away and what to leave behind.

I remember when I posted that surgery or RT was off absolutely off the table, with only HT as an option at that time. It sort of amazed me that a couple of people recommended robotic surgery. I couldn't help but grin, as I wondered if they had actually read anything I wrote.

So goes life.

"Don't sweat the petty stuff, and never pet the sweaty stuff! :)
Posted 5/13/2012 11:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi David:

I certainly understand your need to get away for a bit and I know the posters to whom you refer.  It is really too bad that they have taken the approach with you that they have taken.  Part of the problem with forums and the internet in general is the anonimity.  I doubt if either of them would have the courage to confront you directly in real life...(comment removed -142).

In any case I wish you well and look forward to the day when you return.  Not only will your friends here miss your personal updates because we care about you, but a lot of new posters will miss your wisdom and support.  I have seen many, many people show up here scared to death...but you have been both welcoming and calming which gets them off on the right track on HW.  Also, your advice of slow down, get multiple opinions, get the slides read by an expert, consider all treatment choices, etc. has given folks a pause to think things through a bit.

So, farewell for the moment and I hope to see you back here soon.

Your friend,

Tudpock (Jim)

Post Edited By Moderator (142) : 5/13/2012 11:16:41 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/13/2012 11:42 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not likiing the way this thread is turning out. Just saw members of this forum referred to as bad onions and cowards.
Posted 5/13/2012 1:07 PM (GMT 0)
All the best for your sabbatical, David. Hope your novel flows freely from your pen -- er, keyboard.

Be well,
Nellie
Posted 5/13/2012 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
Tud, thanks, you of all people, I know completely understand where I am coming from.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And for the guilty few, although my departure should make you thrilled (you won, you got what you wanted), you might want to look in the mirror and see if you like what you see - no fun being a cyber egotist and a cyber bully. For you that have strong views, I still challenge you to live even 24 hours with what I deal with everyday. You need to understand, there's no prize for "looking right" or getting the last word with your amazing IQ scores and research ability.  Words can hurt and words can kill - kill the hopes and spirit of the person that you just slammed.

To understand pain - you must have felt pain. To understand fear - you have to have been afraid. To understand hopelessness, you have to know what it feels like to know no hope. Worry a little more about true empahty and care, and a little less about being a "big man' or putting another notch on your belt for putting someone down or in their place. If you can't post without being demeaning, condenscending, or insulting - then perhaps this isn't the place for you. There are plenty of other web sites and forums where hatred and insults are the rule, you might be more comfortable there.

For those that really understand, HW PC is a brotherhood (and sisterhood), and to those that believe, it's for real - the friendships, the connections, the laughing and the crying - it's real too. Oh, how I hate this cancer, and how it is destroying lives and families every single day, but there is peace in strenth, and strength in numbers. Together we can make it, but if nothing else, be there to pick up our fallen brothers along our path, and help to bury those that lose this heroic fight - a fight to live.


With that said, I leave in peace.

May the peace of the Lord be upon you, and to those you love,

David

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 5/13/2012 8:52:35 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/13/2012 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
David,

I am very sorry that you will be taking a well earned leave from posting, I check the board several times a day just to see if you have left a post. In my humble opinion, you have always given honest, factual information whenever asked. Your journey with cancer has been horrific, yet never have I seen you take pity on yourself, or ask the why me question. You give straight forward accounts of your treatment, and results as they happen. I have been one of the lucky ones, with a prostate that was 65% full of cancer, have made it almost 4 1/2 years without having a relapse. I always worry that it will be back, and like to stay up to date on the most current treatments, and offer a word of encouragement when I can to new members.

I wish you peace, and hope that you can make it out on your sailboat this summer, to relax and a least for a time escape the constant worry and pain of cancer.

Respectfully,

Kerry

(Beachbum)

Posted 5/13/2012 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
I've been away for a while yesterday and today, and was a little disturbed to see some of the latest comments. I'm not going to edit, but I am locking the thread, as the purpose seems to have been lost. (I did make some edits after a number of emails from members - 142).


Respect for the choices of members is a rule of the site, and some of the situations mentioned are not something that should be ignored, they are something that should not happen to begin with.

David, I hope the break, however long you may take, is a positive time, and that you make good headway in your battle with the beast.

 

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