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Help at home post discharge, how many days?

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Posted 7/27/2012 7:03 PM (GMT 0)

My 52-year-old husband is scheduled for RARP next month. 

For those of you who have been there, how many days would you recommend I stay home from work to take care of him once he's discharged (assuming no complications)?

He's normally an independent person who neither wants nor needs coddling.  However, he is quite squeamish about medical issues (seeing blood/shots/procedures, etc), so I'm thinking he'll have issues with the catheter being in place.   He normally has a somewhat sedentary lifestyle, pack-a-day smoker, not overweight, and has no other health issues.

What would you suggest?

Thanks!

Posted 7/27/2012 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the site... Sorry you have to be here..

I had my surgery on a Thursday morning. I sent my dad home early the next cause he was drive me crazy. I was fine on my own since I had plenty of food in the house. I was off the whole next week and then back to work. (desk job)

The catheter isn't fun...had mine in for five weeks - but he shouldn't need any help with it.
Posted 7/27/2012 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
one way to think about it; if you were in the hospital, they'd be nagging you to get outa bed and walk around...same thing at home..you need to get up and move around anyway, so you should be able to fix things to eat or sip on (or find your laptop)....i'd expect only one day, just to check/watch him and get him used to the new routine, and that'll do it...
bob
Posted 7/27/2012 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Before he goes in make sure you have a recliner with a side table and a good view of the television. The first couple of days home he will need to spend most of his time horizontal, and staring at the ceiling over the bed gets boring. He may have 'issues' with the catheter but I doubt he will want your help with it. After three or four days he should be able to take care of himself, especially if you leave food in the fridge that he can eat in the recliner.
Posted 7/28/2012 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the feedback.  I was contemplating taking two days, but was worried I was being stingy--seems like two days should be plenty provided all goes well.

bsjoplin--I worry a bit that he will just sit there all day and not move around.  Guess I'll just have to try and set the pace for activity during the two days I'm home. 

Peter--I've been thinking about renting a recliner since we don't have one--seems like a good idea.

Steve--Thanks for the welcome; I appreciate it.

Another question--We have a three level house.  Is negotiating stairs an issue in the first days at home?

Thanks!

 

Posted 7/28/2012 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
LNH,

We have stairs as well. It was no problem for me. Of course, take it slow and be careful.


He should try to walk a good bit.. even if it just around the living room, kitchen, etc.

I guess recliners work well for some. I found our recliner difficult to get out of with my open surgery incision. I used the couch instead.

Posted 7/28/2012 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Stairs for me were a big problem. The cath was painful (I had a lot of bladder spasms) so one trip up and down a day was all I could manage. The one flight took 20 minutes to get up the first time when I was coming in from the hosp (was kept for 4 nights post-DaVinci). I needed a cane and the handrail to get up and down the first couple of weeks.

Getting up and moving around is essential, even if he just paces the house.

I was "back at work" (remote computer connection) on Monday after surgery on Thursday.

Posted 7/28/2012 5:24 PM (GMT 0)
When my husband had his surgery in 2003, I actually took one medical leave week and one vacation week with him! He had his surgery on a Monday and was home on Wednesday.
The recliner is good advice. My husband got home and we soon discovered we really didn't have comfortable seating! I went out and bought a lazy boy that day!
He had the catheter two weeks and they did advise that he not drive with it. We also had two young dogs then so staying home and tending to everything seemed the right thing for me to do.
And yes, keep him moving. That is important.
Posted 7/28/2012 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
I had open surgery, and was in the hospital 4 1/2 days. My wife is a nurse, and she stayed home a full week after I got home (she had loads of PTO hours to burn off). Once my wife went back to work, my daughter in law (another nurse), checked on me 2-3 times the following week, by then, I could pretty well fend for myself.

With robotic surgery, it should be less of a need, but I would say don't make your final plans until you see how he does, and whether he encounters any complications or unsual side effects.

david
Posted 7/28/2012 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
First welcome to our forum. I had my RALP on a Wednesday was sent home on Thursday and my wife took off just the Wednesday to Friday. She went back to work on Monday. I had no problem taking care of my self after the first few days.

On Thursday night her office brought over a take out meal from PF Changs and it was so good with left overs for lunch the next day. smilewinkgrin  

Terry

Posted 7/29/2012 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
I was a stay at home Mom when Michael had his surgery, but I can tell you that he was able to do the essentials within the first 48 hours of being home. If you are comfortable leaving him, he should be fine. I would do any prep for him, get lunch ready so he has to only grab it or microwave it. He wont really want to be bending or reaching for anything. Steps shouldnt be a problem, he will just need to take them slowly. If you can arrange for the surgery to be mid to the end of the week, then you would have the weekend as well, that might be the best, but I wouldnt hover over him after the first day or so.

Best of luck
Susan
Posted 7/29/2012 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
I came home on a Monday, and we went out to a restaurant for breakfast the next day. 

The only time I spent in bed was at night for sleeping, and I really didn't want to sit in a recliner....sitting up straight on the couch was more comfortable, and it was easier to get up and down.

We normally babysit our twin grandchildren, who were then age 3.  We took a week off from that, but then it was back to normal.  The twins asked about my leg bag, but immediately lost interest in it.  Our son and his wife had cautioned them "not to jump on Grandpa or punch him in the stomach," and they were very good about that.

Everyone's recovery is different, so you really won't know until you're there, but as you can see from the responses, there's a wide range.  For some, it's very easy, and for others it can be painful and slow.  Here's wishing you a smooth, steady and quick recovery.

Posted 7/29/2012 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
I had open surgery on Sat Nov 5th of last year & went home the following Tuesday morning. I'm divorced and live alone. Prior to surgery, I bought a recliner and stocked up on frozen dinners and canned foods, enough to last 2 weeks. My ex & daughter brought me dinner my first evening home, and after that I was on my own. When I needed milk or some other perishable item, I would call my daughter who would bring it by after work. I kept my phone within reach at all times. Everything worked out very well, thanks to getting the recliner, stocking up on food beforehand and not having any complications from the surgery.

I also had a walker left by the former owner of my house. I kept the overnight catheter bag on all the time, and when I had to get up I simply hung it on the walker and was able to get around quite well that way. I only used the walker for the first 2-3 days. Another thing I did was lay a chair cushion on the seat of the recliner which made it easier to get up from.

Since your hubby is normally pretty independent, don't coddle him to much and he'll learn to accept and live with his situation that much sooner.
Posted 7/29/2012 11:24 PM (GMT 0)
One other thing that I found really helpful while dealing with the catheter was 'convertible' pants. They are cargo pants (loose, big pockets) that zip off at the knee to become shorts. The zipper at the knee is great for dealing with a leg bag strapped to one's thigh and after the catheter comes out the big pockets will easily hold a pad or two. Look for them at REI.
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