Retired and time on your hands?? It's Friday.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, my wife took me into town to do a bit of shopping.
When we came out of the shop, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on sport, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He totally ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an a--hole? . He just glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.
So the wife called him a s--t head!! He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

21 disgustingly delicious state fair foods
now.msn.com/state-fair-foods-photo-gallery


Texas: Chicken-fried bacon-> YUM. Die with a smile on your face.

So in following the turn this post has taken about fair foods - my wife and I exhibit livestock as a hobby at a county fair as well as two state fairs, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Last year (pre PCa Dx of course!) I treated myself to deep fried beer! Not sure how they pulled that off but the novelty of it was better than the taste! Going to state fairs has shown me that darn near anything can be deep fried!

I am off to the NC State Fair this afternoon and you guys are making me hungry. Sadly my low carb diet limits my choices to the smoked turkey drumsticks and Mt Olive Kosher Dill Pickles. But those are my favorites, anyway, so no particular hardship.

What? What? Naked lady says what?

if you have a job sitting:

in front of a computer all day,you may not be getting enough exercise. if you don't want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines,here is a little secret for building arm and should muscles.

begin by standing with a five pound potato sack in each hand.extend yours arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

after a few weeks move up to 10 pound potato sacks and than 50 pound potato sacks.

and finally get to where you can lift a one hundred pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

next ,start putting a few potatoes in the sacks.

My brother sent me this:  the shortest Scottish joke: A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says, "Fook off, ye'll not bring it back !!"

A long-time retired, elderly couple were married for over sixty years. Although the man and women were not poor, they were far from being rich. They managed to get comfortably by skimping and watching their pennies.

The elderly man and women were both in excellent health for their age, mainly because of the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise since their sixties.

As fate would have it, the couples excellent health didn't help a bit when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed.

Being the good, honest couple, they wound up in Heaven.

When man and woman reached the pearly gates, they got a welcome from St. Peter who escorted them inside Paradise. First, St. Peter took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.

A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. The couple gasped in astonishment while St. Peter said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked how much money all this luxury was going to cost.

"How much? Of course, nothing," replied St. Peter. 'You have earned this by being good during your lives and this is your reward: Heaven with all its blessings and luxuries."'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

"I love golf but how much for the greens fee?" asked the old man. "I couldn't afford to play much more than twice a year on Earth."

"Remember, this is Heaven," emphasized St. Peter. "Play as much as you want and every time you golf you get it for free — always on the house, in other words."

Soon they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood, lamb chops, steaks, exotic deserts, free flowing beverages and all the over 200 varieties of wine.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy"

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" the old man queried.

"This will amaze you, more than the fact everything is free," stated St. Peter with a smile on his face. "You can eat as much food and drink wine as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat, sick, or really drunk. This is Heaven!'

The old man was still not totally satisfied, "No gym to work out at?"

Not unless you actually want to exercise for the fun of it,' was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or all the other tests my wife has asked me to do over the last twenty years or so."

"Never again," said St. Peter. "All you do here is enjoy yourself."

At this point, the elderly man glared at his wife and uttered, "You and your nasty bran muffins and all the other healthy stuff. We could have been here fifteen years ago!"

Ha, I stole it, you can have it---gratis....

Had to share.  Scary to think she will be voting in November!

http://gawker.com/5951372/radio-show-caller-suggests-deer-crossing-signs-on-busy-streets-to-blame-for-her-frequent-collisions-with-deer

Ron