Tough days

Bettymarie,

Your post is so hard to read. I hope the doctors find something to ease his pain soon.

Keeping you and yours in thoughts and prayers...

You too, gold horse.

Oh, thanks guys...a million thanks to you all.

You know Devasted 1, I cant wait til your wife and I and indeed us all receive God's answer to that question...and the many others we have. For now though, I replace all those ?s with simple trust and gratefulness for the strength that God has given us. You're right though Katie, this is NOT the childhood I envisioned for our girls. Our 12yr old is the splitting image of her dad and through it all he remains her hero. They are well aware of what we face and we have encouraged them to say how they feel. I have private talks with them, and they tell me they are prepared to face it all...except they pray they will never see dad in a wheelchair...of course I can't promise...i can only pray...of course with hospital visits etc. he has actually been in wheelchairs but so far they've been spared.

Goldhorse, I am soooo sorry to hear of your mom's passing. My mom passed some time now, and so did my husband's mom...from lung cancer. My dad's gone too and with no biological sisters, I can't begin to tell you all how much this family means to me. I don't share easilly, so it's a blessing to be able to share with you all in this way.

Mel, you're right, he is 42. At some point I will post some treatment history etc. We are in the Caribbean so not all options have been available in the past and when we have travelled to US he has not always been receptive to what has been proposed...long story. Morphine now takes care of the pain for the most part and there is some meds to help prevent the fluids from recollecting in his lungs etc...that's caused by the liver involvement.

Can't remember who mentioned Cancer Cachexia; I never heard of it before yesterday and when I read it up it struck me that that is exactly what's going in our little world. Explains why he continues to lose so much muscle mass etc. although not eating too badly. This wasting away of his physical existence before my very eyes, now that I have a name for it, has had my brain swirling and my eyes and heart full beyond description for a few hours now.

Your kids are about the same age as mine (1 year apart) I can only imagine how they are handling the situation. If I may make a suggestions for them. Make sure that they get some one on one time with an adult that they love and trust. They need to have special time and time to do things that they enjoy without feeling guilty that they are doing something for themselves. The trusted adult can be there to allow the kids to say whatever they need to say, act however they need to act and just be themselves in a time when they may be trying to act more grown up than they really are. I would also suggest taking lots of video of Dad and with Dad, so that many years from now they will have the video to remind them of the wonderful Dad they had and the times they did have with him. I hope that he is with you all for many many years, but it is always good to get that video.

If you can take some time to indulge yourself even in the smallest way each day, maybe while the kids are in school, you will feel more powerful and refreshed. It is a horrible situation and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, but DO NOT forget you have needs as well and you need to take care of you.

hugs
susan