anger and love = laughter

Until 3 days ago things have been going pretty smooth no serious changes then 3 days ago my husband went on a rant to me and my mother inlaw and our very hurt granddaughter :( he complained about everything from us washing curtains to hemming them to what was for dinner i told everyone to just let him rant and rave all he wants he has every right to be angry . I told them just to do as he asked at that time and we will finish later (the curtains) then he was yelling because we stopped so we started again and he was angry about that our granddaughter was freaked out a little because this was out of character for her grandpa who never yells and lets her do anything she wants :( I took her outside and explained he is not angry at her he is angry about the cancer and it is normal for people to have anger issues at time like this so she then asked if it was ok for her to yell i said yell yell all you want so she yelled and yelled and yelled grandpa opened the door and asked what was all the yelling about to knock it off the neighbors are going to think shes crazy she turned to him and said I am yelling cause I love you and I hurt too and i am angry too if you are going to walk around yelling I am too soo the whole town can think we are just 2 people who like to yell ..... the look on her face I guess was to much for him to hold on to his anger and he laughed she laughed and i well i laughed and cried !who knew anger and love could create laughter another memory to always remember :) Just thought I would share this with you all He is still having anger moments but i was told it is normal for some people to do this even thou it is not in their nature ...He sleeps 18 hours a day doesn't eat much and has a few bathroom problems but the pain is controlled and we are working on the rest
thank you all soo much for all the replies my heart is full :)
best wishes and praying for a cure :)
hugs and kisses
C.C.

CC

Smiles and hugs! Thanks for sharing this. I can just imagine the GrandDaughter looking up at her Grandpa - priceless!

Hugs to you and yours our dear friend

Bud

C.C. what a great story. Thanks so much for posting. We so hope you guys would come to the GFMPH in Louisiana next April.

Cajun Jeff

c.c.,

Thanks for the great story with the surprise ending! It's good to talk about anger issues.

BTW Dave, you're good at keeping the anger from us here too. (BTW part 2: I'm a few chapters into your first book, and I recommended it to my wife.)

DJ

Where would us men be without caregivers like you CC. I know how hard it must be to be doing all you can for your husband, and then have him become angry and yell.

Our hearts and thoughts go out to you and your family.

May God bless you guys with strength and wisdom during this tough time.

Goodlife

The 6 year old has gone to a kids cancer program. She really enjoyed it. Early on we had some discussions. I have some books. Problem last time I read one to her I started to cry. Shocked us all. Both younger ones have been in the treatment building - waiting for mom to pick them up, not allowed to go back. 3 of our 4 kids have gone to chemo. One son a bit overwhelmed with kids, school, job, and where their next meal will come from. The hardest one is Asia, our 20 yr old granddaughter at West Point. Won't talk about it. Panicked when i suggested she go with him. Leaving it between them now.
Still neat your granddaughter could do that. I think Asia would be a very positive force for him. Love of each others life....dog close though

The point your saying is to include them, be open, and that's about it.

Thanks, C.C., for sharing. Laughter is truly stronger than anger. I feel for all of you with kids.

CC, Thanks for sharing. Your husband is lucky to have you and you are both lucky to have such a supportive family.

I, of course, never get angry, but I do have occasional moments of white-hot, homicidal crankiness. My showiest episode happened when I was in exactly the same situation as worriedabouthubby's hubby.

My post-surgical pathology report was much worse than expected and I had just returned from my first meeting with my oncologist. He had recommended adjuvant radiation and two years of chemical castration -- the other two scoops of the big ole, three-scoop crap sandwich -- and I was in a bit of a bad mood.

We were having some remodeling work done on our kitchen at the same time as I was recovering from surgery. We had set up a field kitchen in the upstairs hall bath -- hot plate, coffee pot, lots of canned food -- and I was expecting our kitchen designer. We live on a cul de sac (pie shaped lot) and have no on-street parking. Half way down the block there is a utility easement where we can park on the curb without parking in front of anyone's house. I had parked there when I got home from the doctor so the kitchen designer could have have the driveway when she arrived.

The doorbell rang and I creaked down the stairs to let her in. I had my wife's list of issues to discuss in my hand. But it wasn't her. It was one of my neighbors who lives across the street from the easement where I had parked. His wife had almost hit my little car when she was backing her giant SUV out of her driveway. The near miss had frightened her and this had upset her husband who had come down to yell at me about how unfair it was for us to park across the street from his house every day.

I wasn't... in... the... mood... for... that. Once I figured out what he was fussing about I told him I would "move the F'ing car" and slammed the door in his face. Or tried to. We had one of those builder's lock key holders hanging on our doorknob so the workmen could let themselves in. It swung out from centrifugal force and hit the doorframe and bounced. Several times. Once I finally got the door closed I put on my shoes, stomped down the block and moved my car and my wife's car into our driveway. I spun the tires on both cars leaving big clouds of white tire smoke. Other neighbors watched the performance from their front porches.

It was probably my best tantrum ever. Or at least since I was three.

So, yes, I sympathize with guys who get a bit testy some times.

C.C.

That's such a great story. Thanks for sharing. It makes our day to see some laughter in your lives.

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine knows more than any doctor I ever met.

Best,

Jonathan

Nice post CC...I saw my sister act the same way towards her husband at the end. It was hard to watch and I flet bad for him yet I knew it was her acting out in anger and pain. great post and thanks for sharing.