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Posted 1/14/2013 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
Lately, my incontinence has improved to the point where I only use half a pee pad when I go out in public. For all other times, I simply insert a handkerchief or bandana into my underwear and that is more than sufficient to last through the day or night. :-)

Saturday night we were up late, drinking more than a little wine while watching short films on Vimeo. One video was a particularly gruesome yet thought provoking film about WWI and the horrors of trench warfare. It was an intense and exhausting 28 minutes. After watching the movie, I showered and inserted a red bandana into my night time undies (loose cotton briefs) and went to bed.

I'm not sure if it was the wine, or the movie, or the combination of both, but I had a fitful sleep. I found myself tossing and turning a lot. At about 2 AM I woke up in a dream, reached down to check myself, and felt warm liquid all over my groin. Leaping out of bed in the dark, I looked down and saw that I was covered in blood and clots! Oh no! "I hope I can make it to the bathroom before I pass out!" Woozy and disoriented, I stumbled into the bathroom.
I flipped on the light and there was the red bandana plainly visible through my pee-soaked, white undies.
From now on, I am only going to stuff green camo bandanas in my undies.
Take heed guys: Pad color matters.

Jeff

Post Edited (Worried Guy) : 1/14/2013 12:50:36 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/14/2013 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Jeff,

There is a soluble fiber supplement that I have taken from time to time to help control my weight. It's interesting stuff. It binds with water at a 200 to one ratio. If you pop open the capsules and pour out the powder then four grams of the powder will bind with a pound of water to form a pint of sticky white goo. As a dietary supplement it slows the rate at which you extract energy from the food you eat, blunting somewhat the insulin spikes.

It seems to me if you dusted off with this stuff before bed then you could wake up from a dream and revisit your youth.
Posted 1/14/2013 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Peter,
I like it! I figure 15ml -20ml was my usual delivery volume so 0.1 grams of the powder in my undies would be a nice blast from the past.
I can't tell you how many dreams I've had where I wake up thinking I have an erection and reach down to find - nothing.
I'm a big boy so I don't cry about it anymore.

Waking up to find a 30ml slug of goo in my underwear is preferable to 30 ml of liquid that soaks through a red bandana and undies.

The County Soil and Water Authority sells trees for reforestation at very reasonable prices. They have a powder that you mix with a bucket full of water to form a gel. You dip the tree roots into it and then immediately plant the tree. It helps hold water to the roots until they become established. I have no idea what the chemical is but it sounds similar to yours.
I am not going to try putting it in my undies even though that might turn out to be the solution for growing wood.

Jeff
Posted 1/14/2013 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
Jeff,

Try this:

www.uniquecrafterscompany.com/?cat=16&item=621

You could end up with a cannon in your drawers, not to mention Christmas gifts for the young'uns.
Posted 1/14/2013 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
I've been battling spammers today, Reb. One of those guys on the package -- the second from the left -- looks a lot like you. You don't get residuals for letting them use your image, do you?
Posted 1/14/2013 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
Ha, unfortunately, no residuals for me. And even if I did, I doubt I would be able to retire off of it. However I did get one of those for Christmas. Have not used it yet, and glad I didn't as it seems Worried Guy might have a better use for it.
Posted 1/14/2013 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
I got a feeling the 2013 GFMPHs are gonna be a blast!
Posted 1/14/2013 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
IronReb,
Those are great! They can almost make incontinence fun! "Here, Hon. Put this in your underwear and let's see what comes out tomorrow morning."
"Is that a cannon in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

Greg, Super idea! Full ones would be perfect targets! Can you image the sound they'd make when hit? Splaatt!!!

Any idea how much liquid one of those holds? Break out the lab scale!

Jeff
Posted 1/14/2013 9:26 PM (GMT 0)
Years ago my son put a quarter into a crappy toy gumball machine and out came a plastic capsule containing a dehydrated gel vaguely lizard-shaped thing. If you put it into water it would swell up to a rather flaccid and waterlogged-looking gray toy dinosaur and if you put it out in the sun to dry out it would shrink back down. Its re-useability would be an advantage over the Instant Civil War although after a few cycles it might get pretty crufty.

My favorite part was the Chinglish instructions which I can still recite after 30 years.


This excellent toy is NOT for to EAT.

It is for the Repitition
and the Admiration of the Swelling!
Posted 1/14/2013 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
here's a link about a similar product /patent .... lots of fancy words that Worried Guy would understand....
ip.com/patfam/en/46889884

non-hydrogenated hugs,
Bronson
Posted 1/14/2013 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
This excellent toy is NOT for to EAT.
It is for the Repitition
and the Admiration of the Swelling!

Like so many things in life...
Posted 1/14/2013 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
I foresee this as being a "green"' solution to replace the mess and inconvenience of disposable pee pads. They would be sold in sets of two. While one lizard is nestled in the user's nether regions, the other lizard would be placed outside in the sun or upon a drying trivet on top of the wood burning stove. At a saving of $0.15 cents per day, the benefits of this system would add up over the course of a lifetime.
The package would also come with a DIY divorce kit, further saving money on legal fees for the inevitable split that would occur the first time the spouse returned to a home smelling of warm urine.

I'll file the patent tomorrow.

We just need a good marketing name for it.
Posted 1/14/2013 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
I'm liking the idea. Every fifth cycle you would soak your lizard in a bucket of water which would remove the minerals, refurbishing the pad and giving you a bucket of reconstituted urine that you could spray on your garden to keep the deer away from your turnips.
Posted 1/14/2013 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
OK, we shape the lizard like my favorite Tokyo eating reptile and call it Peezilla.
Posted 1/15/2013 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Pity Billy Mays is not around to do the commercial
Posted 1/15/2013 11:16 AM (GMT 0)
That Billy Mays ad is even more hilarious when you think about it collecting urine. I have to get one of those Zorbeez rags he was shilling.
It's already yellow.
We can call it "The Golden Peetriever".
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