Am I crazy ?

almost - GOOD DECISION!!!!!! I've been prayin' for you to have peace in your decision, because as I've been following you it has been crystal clear that you are not ready for surgery. In fact, again, I would strongly urge you to consider ACTIVE Surveillance - your statistics simply do not warrant the invasiveness and side effects of surgery. . . .

I am also surprised at your comment "I have pretty much ruled out radiation because long-term side effects appear to be about the same as surgery, and I don't want to cook the surrounding tissue and organs" - because I thought you had done plenty of research. But to be straight with you, with that comment you clearly have not. I'm with Tud on this one, you need to meet with an experienced brachytherapy guy - and, go back and do the research. . . .

In the meantime absolutely focus on your lifestyle - dietary and exercise. And don't give a second thought about backing out at the altar - IMHO had you gone through with the surgery you would be feeling way worse - in more ways than one.

Best to you - stay with us, we got your back!

Good for you!
Now take a little PCa holiday for a little while – give yourself a bit of time to chill and relax and get your emotions back on an even keel.
Active surveillance sounds like a good option to me until IF or when you need to consider treatment.
As mentioned by others above, make sure it is ACTIVE surveillance. Watch your diet, exercise etc., could be time to fine tune your body (and mind) to help it defend itself against the PCa beast.
Sending you a very calming hug and all positive vibes from over the pond and wishing you all the very best.
Susan
x

Your new screen name should be "AlmostRobotic"

I can't tell you all how much I appreciate the encouragement and support. I just could not go ahead with this surgery until I had exhausted all of the options and got all of my questions answered. AS leaves your options open. But when you're prostate is gone, it's gone forever. At 53, I know that surgery may be in my future. And it may be fairly soon, depending on what happens under AS. I may not be able to psychologically deal with AS. But I will never know unless I try it. And if I can't, then I will know for sure it's time for surgery, and can go into it with a clear mind.

I'm going to call my uro Monday for an appointment and tell him I want to give AS a try.

“Am I crazy?”      No; probably smarter than most.   Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.   Starting today, your education on AS begins.   Those who immerse themselves the deepest in an understanding of how they can help themselves be successful on AS end up being the most successful men on AS.   You’ve got some learning to do. ·       You will become intimate with the names and works of the AS “thought leaders;” names like Dr Laurence Klotz, Dr H Ballentine Carter, Dr Peter Carroll, Dr Daniel Lin, Dr Mark Soloway, Dr Ian Thompson, and others.   Dr Klotz published one of the best overall papers on AS HERE .     ·       You will learn that there are different “protocols” for entering AS, staying on AS, and leaving AS.   The “best practices” in AS are continually improving.   Some of the large institutions have a protocol used by their doctors, but it differs from institution to institution.   Independent doctors often mimic one of the large institutions, or develop their own.   In the next few months, you’ll want to develop a clear picture of what your protocol will be.   ( Protocol info )   Klotz’s program includes programs of patient education which addresses the psychological needs of AS patients by providing access to the data and results which continues to grow reinforcing AS as the best choice for carefully selected men.  Also, you will learn that the most successful programs all include "lifestyle therapy" (diet, exercise, stress reduction).   ·       You will learn that there are fine points that the experts (and non-experts) don’t agree upon (no surprise here).   I feel that the Sitemaster at The “New” Prostate Cancer Infolink is one of the most balanced layperson’s perspective on all things PC.   Look for yourself; read -active-surveillance/" rel=nofollow target=_blank> THIS posting from late 2010 on AS.   Then, I suggest going to this site on a regular basis to stay informed on what’s the latest and greatest in all things PC, and/or use the site’s search function and enter “active surveillance” to learn lots.   ·       You will learn that some doctors with AS patients prescribe use of the high resolution color-doppler process to stage your prostate (in conjunction with, and as an alternative to, more biopsies).   It is not widely used, but very enthusiastically used by many of the leading experts.   Learn more about it HERE from Dr Duke Bahn, probably the world’s leading expert in using it for PC.   ·       You may have the opportunity to participate in a clinical trial; there are several trials currently recruiting participants.   One example is the PASS, Prostate Active Surveillance Study, which seeks to fine-tune markers that will identify cancers that are more/less aggressive.   Clinical studies benefit the participants for several reasons, including the higher-than-typical level of oversight.   Some of the institutions participating in the PASS are:   UCSF, Stanford, Beth Israel/Harvard Med, Univ of Mich, Texas-San Antonio, Eastern VA Med, Univ of Wash, and VA at Puget Sound.   See THIS link for PASS, or learn to search for other clinical trials HERE .   ·       You will learn, if you don’t already know, about the “overtreatment” epidemic, and that many doctors treating PC patients, and pathologists specializing in PC, are lobbying their peers to support a change the name of low-risk PC to eliminate the word “cancer” so that unnecessary overtreatment might be reduced (on patients like you).   Awareness for you.   Some reading HERE , or THIS article for starters.   ·       You will find that interest and enthusiasm for AS is growing everywhere.   Just over a year ago, the NIH, National Institutes of Health, convened the first-ever State-of-the-Science Conference titled “Role of AS in the Management of Men with Localized PC.”   HERE is some good overview info published by the NIH; HERE is the Program and Published Abstracts Book; HERE is the site where you can find the videocast of the event; watch for more.   Lots to learn.   Very best wishes on your journey…   Post Edited (Casey59) : 1/25/2013 2:38:31 PM (GMT-7)

Almost,

Your life, your choice as to treatments. Thanks for reminding me. Best wishes!

NewspaperLover

One major tip. Do not hang onto surgery as the only option, sooner or later. Please look into Brachytherapy as an option if you feel AS may not be for you Seatlle washington has arguably the finest BT center in the country. I realize the comfort of knowing the complete pathology. But many, many are cured with this treatment. Surgery is not the gold standard it used to be. It just isn't. I am saying that even though with surgery , I am sure you will be cured and am also sure the same is true with BT, minus SE"s. BT is not like std radiation therapy that gives you a reprieve on SE and that show up after. Research it, talk to a BT specialist…… we need some BT guys to tell there story to almost.

One major tip. Do not hang onto surgery as the only option, sooner or later. Please look into Brachytherapy as an option

Agree 100 percent. Surgery need never be in your future.

almost and all - you know I'm going to weigh in on Brachy, since someone asked! Seriously, focus on AS and the things you've been doing with diet and exercise - and then add to that a serious effort at getting educated about ALL of the potential treatment options - and absolutely DO NOT plant it in your brain that "I know sooner or later I'll need surgery" - why do that to yourself?

Ride the AS train as long as it's safe to do so, and then after you get your "PhD in PCa Treatment Options" - start thinking about what to do next. . . .

Well, I hope I did the right thing...for now at least. I think some of my family and friends think I backed out of surgery because the fear of what it would do to me temporarily overwhelmed the knowledge that I have cancer. One person told me that the relief I feel from my decision not to have surgery will be temporary. Maybe they're right. Only time will tell. So maybe I'm just a coward.

Not crazy at all. I give you points for courage. You can't force yourself to make a huge decision any faster -- you have to wait until you're comfortable. Your moment of clarity about having that surgery on that day came inconveniently late, but I'm impressed that when you knew, you had the backbone to act on it.