in the infusion rooom

that's longer than I would have guessed. gee.

Noone should ever have to fight this disease alone but those who fight at our side bare our scars as well. I toast the wives. And the partners '(thinking of you Bronson) who are at our side.

Post Edited (living1963) : 2/21/2013 7:11:38 PM (GMT-7)

TODD1963
-adapted from words shared with others -

I am sitting here awaiting my first session
Can’t remember if it’s pamidronate or zometa
It’s no big deal.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am sitting here awaiting my first session
It’s no big deal.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am a rock star in this place.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.

The Doctor I fired just walked by. He remembers me.
I am a rock star in this place.
I look way better than he does.
My story is framed and hangs on the wall.
I am a rock star in this place.
They know my face I wish I knew theirs.

I got interrupted by the pharmacy guys bringing my dope.
They all wanted me to tell them about provenge.
The rain continues to fall three drops at a time.
I am the only one in my area to get it.
Life is strange. I hate this place.
I am the only one in my area to get it.

Eyes that look right through you.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
Blinders for the heart. So many lose the battle.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
It must be hard for them.
I am a rock star in this place.

I know I ripped into a couple of guys
But my heart is in the right place.
This is easy. It is the room that is hard.
It’s no big deal.
So sterile so void of emotion.
They just want me to be done so they can go home.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am a rock star in this place.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.

I don't blame them.
Most go to Portland.
I am in my little hometown right now.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
How are you my brother.
I been thinking about you.

The infusion room is intimidating.
I want to go home too.
Life is Strange. I hate this place.
Lemon pepper chicken for dinner.

Sometimes the I.V. feels like ice in my veins
I am a rock star in this place.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am so glad you have your family and GiGi.
Catch their eye and they don't turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.
...........................


TODD -
-wishing you all the best,
Bronson & Steve
...........................
info added on Feb22 - wow - just noticed this was my 2400th posting -
...........................

HUGS TO ALL!

Y'all mean so much to me! Thanks for allowing me to part of your lives. Thanks for being part of mine - I'm honored and humbled

Bud

Todd, that last post about being a rock star at you clinic got me laughing, I'm in a similar spot here. When first Dx'ed everyone was convinced that it was all downhill from here. they had me injected with Lupron within4 days of my PCP's DRE. Now, 6 years this March 8th I am always greeted by the staff like old buds and the BS flows like the Big Muddy. I get my Lupron injection in the newly remodeled chemo suite alongside those in the drip chairs and I wish I could share my peaceful joy with them but they seem to be locked up in a world of their own . . . sad. Occasionally I make positive eye contact and sit down and ask if they would like to chat, they usually do. The bonding that I have gone through in that suite has strengthened me soo much, their stories amaze me. It's always the old half full / empty thing and I've found that most cancer patients see the glass half full . . . what say you my friend?

I was wondering about the new screen name:)

Does fit you very well my brother

Todd,

I have to sit in the waiting room with a lot of folks in that same situation while I'm there for my onco appointment, and he is always late. One day I made the error of looking a second too long at a cart one girl had pulled in. She asked me why I didn't have a "Camp Chemo" bag or cart, was I new at this, she'd loan me a book. She was clearly a long-term "camper".

I teared up.

During my last pregnancy, I had terrible nausea, and eventually I was desperate enough that I found a Chinese oncologist who did acupuncture. He did it in the infusion room -- some patients were getting their chemo, others where getting acupuncture to deal with the aftermath of the chemo. And then there was me. I felt incredibly guilty...I was there for this big obvious source of joy, and everyone else was fighting for their lives.

Only a few short months later, I was back in a very similar room, sitting with my mom while her chemo drugs dripped dripped dripped. And I definitely saw the eyes that won't meet yours that you talked about -- her doctors and their practice were the coldest and most impersonal I've ever seen. I assumed it was a side effect of being in oncology, you had to develop Hard Heart to keep doing it.

We've been really lucky in this PCa journey to have found doctors and nurses who see the person, not just a patient.

I hope your body takes the infusion in stride and that the room is less intimidating the second time around.

Bronson, that is GREAT! Kudos to Todd on sincere, simple words, those write the best poems.

Todd you had me confused there for a while. When did you change your screen name? My best to you and Bud (his Gigi is a fortunate little girl to have him for a grandfather)---- we are the ones who are humbled by the grit and stamina of you both. And you are entitled to let rip and vent your frustrations every now and again.
Bill

 

Like ( )

Like ( )

Like ( )

Like ( )

Like ( )

Like ( )

Like ( )

Now guys we have the like buttons. Todd is a rock star in so many ways.

Post Edited (Water Guy) : 2/22/2013 8:06:54 AM (GMT-7)

The chemo rooms at Northwestern (University) Memorial Hospital in Chicago is on the top floor (21st). The hospital is located one block east of Michigan Avenue, and right in the heart of the beautiful downtown. All of the infusion rooms are around the perimeter of the building and have a wonderful view, mostly to the east toward Lake Michigan, which is about 3 blocks further east. They clearly gave priority to the patients when planning this facility...

tatt2man said...
TODD1963
-adapted from words shared with others -

I am sitting here awaiting my first session
Can’t remember if it’s pamidronate or zometa
It’s no big deal.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am sitting here awaiting my first session
It’s no big deal.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am a rock star in this place.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.

The Doctor I fired just walked by. He remembers me.
I am a rock star in this place.
I look way better than he does.
My story is framed and hangs on the wall.
I am a rock star in this place.
They know my face I wish I knew theirs.

I got interrupted by the pharmacy guys bringing my dope.
They all wanted me to tell them about provenge.
The rain continues to fall three drops at a time.
I am the only one in my area to get it.
Life is strange. I hate this place.
I am the only one in my area to get it.

Eyes that look right through you.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
Blinders for the heart. So many lose the battle.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
It must be hard for them.
I am a rock star in this place.

I know I ripped into a couple of guys
But my heart is in the right place.
This is easy. It is the room that is hard.
It’s no big deal.
So sterile so void of emotion.
They just want me to be done so they can go home.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am a rock star in this place.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.

I don't blame them.
Most go to Portland.
I am in my little hometown right now.
Catch their eye and they turn away.
How are you my brother.
I been thinking about you.

The infusion room is intimidating.
I want to go home too.
Life is Strange. I hate this place.
Lemon pepper chicken for dinner.

Sometimes the I.V. feels like ice in my veins
I am a rock star in this place.

I will be done in a few more minutes.
The infusion room is intimidating.
I am so glad you have your family and GiGi.
Catch their eye and they don't turn away.
You are blessed bud.
I love you my brother.
...........................


TODD -
-wishing you all the best,
Bronson & Steve
...........................
info added on Feb22 - wow - just noticed this was my 2400th posting -
...........................

Quite remarkable. Penetrating and vivid. It's like we were all there.

there is something about this thread that I have never seen before. There is a lot of talent on this board.