Its hard to hang in there.

It sometimes becomes so much of a burden with all this cancer and treatment stuff as I have seen in posts by others here. I think I am feeling it myself lately.

I just had 2 of my largest molars pulled yesterday and have been pondering my future between the bloody spits in the trash can, and the returning of feelings in my gums. This in preparation for Zometa treatment for my bones. I am scheduled for a "port" (surgery) in 4 days to begin Taxotere for my runaway rise in PSA. I truly hope it doesnt cause any more fatigue. I am fatigued up to my eyeballs.

After radiation just this last month it took right at 4 weeks to gain enough energy to even sweep and mop my living room and kitchen floor. I cant work anymore, and anyway I`m retired. But I want to wash and wax my little Volvo 544 parade car for some Spring fun, yet I dont have stamina to do either yet. Oiy.

I revell in the spring weather, and am glad to be alive yet another year. I give thanks to my Lord for that. I have learned a ton about how to prepare for those end of life questions, but I feel my time is still a little ways off. So much still to do with my fantastic wife who is also my best friend.

I see that virtually everyone eventually has to face health problems personally or with loved ones. It sure is hard isnt it? Yet without those trying times how would we know how good the best times were?

Sorry you are going through some tough times right now. Life always has it's ups and downs but it is always better than the alternative, not living.
Hang in there, hope the new treatment goes well.

I always loved that car you have, not many of them on the road are there?

Bill from Florida

Little nm and Special lady, such special posters and among other wives who have to brave it for the husbands. Im glad for the women folk! How are you doing with your journeys?

And Big Mac, yep those good Volvos of that nature are both rare and expensive nowadays. Luckily I bought mine from my Bro in law who only marked it up $1000. from what he gave. ( He got it cheap, and hey, nothing wrong with profit! :) It just purrrs at 60 mph and the nostalgia of driving old tin just makes me heady.

Hang in there, Greetingz! You are in my thoughts daily. Still have the picture of you and sis on my desk.

--Harper

Thank you Harp!

Gunslinger! I just now turned back 10 pages to see your post in my old OP. I told the Onc on May 7th I really wanted Provenge, Of course I have no real high level of understanding in trying to persuade through science, just what I read here.

And we had talked about Provenge. I remember him saying that in a VA enviroment I would/might need to be inpatient and have gone through prior treatments I have yet to go through. He has read the science reports and is not convinced of its miracles (although he spent some time with us on his understanding) and I am just clinging to what good data I glean on the internet.

Now I have insurance for cancer and heart disease and it has paid us according to its stated stipulations. But regarding expensive and exotic treatments, it only pays up to $15k so thats not apparently going to cut the mustard.

In other words I dont think Provenge is in my near future.

Old Volvos rock if you drive em at about 55-60. They should not need anything but grease and oil.

Hang in there G,
I have my own dark days. I've been fighting them off as best I can but sometimes it's just good to get it off your chest.
I've been tossing around the idea of an old car for a project with my son but lately been think of getting a newer little 2 seater. I figure I should have my midlife crises now, that way I'll live to 88. Lol.
All the best, you're in my prayers tonight!

Greetingz, my heart lifts up yours.
You'll be in my thoughts, that you get your spark back soon.

Greetings, just want to add my thoughts and prayers. Even with what we believe, it all becomes overwhelming at times. Hoping for relief and that the next part of your journey is less bumpy.

Don't know if you knew about Merle Pennenkamp but at some point in all those mega treatments you get fed up with it all....he decided to go commando (no drugs), he lived about 2 years thereafter inspite of the naysayers telling him it was a few months. Great guy, an attitude was inspiring, even having some fun on facebook with friends during all the tribulations. One might have to consider how much crap do you wish to endure, and having the system cash in on your demise is salt in the wounds to my way of thinking, so I am still studying the twilight zone of it all.

Greetinz & Zufus,
Damm--It's a beautiful day out and after reading your posts my vision is a little blurred..We've all thought about our impending mortality and what to do when the time comes. Vietnam vets (Greetinz) and others with a service-connected disability must remember one thing. If they die of a service-connected disability or a condition directly related to a service-connected disability, "the surviving spouse will receive DIC payments totaling $14000 annually"..For those of us who love our wives, we need to keep that in mind..Sorry about this reminder..PC sucks--Hang tough.
Bill

Grettinz,
You are welcome! You were in Pleiku, VN and therefore were exposed--you should be getting monthly disability payments from the VA for PC--that's how Sonny can afford diesel fuel for his 40' motorhome!
Please check with your Veterans Service Officer (VSO) on your benefits...Now, if you go sky diving and your parachute doesn't open then that's a whole different story--sort of the inverse of laponte points--Why do you make members of this forum "look up" such obscure info?? Maybe the lupron-right?
Bill

You got it! Mine is customized some with Ricaro seats and new instumentation, Mine is red too, although a little darker. Will attempt to get pics loaded.

Gunfighter;

Im on %100 disability and have been for 10 months. I just didnt know the $ numbers for any benefits for the wife.

Post Edited (greetingz) : 5/19/2013 1:26:20 PM (GMT-6)

I think I "get" it, and if I do then a good LOL is in order :)