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What should we do about hostile posts/posters?

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What should we do about hostile posts/posters?
Use Ignore button on hostile poster - 22.7% - 10 votes
Everyone just abandon threads turning hostile - 25.0% - 11 votes
We make posts trying to calm things down - 2.3% - 1 votes
Mods do more warning/deleting/locking - 6.8% - 3 votes
Do nothing - 31.8% - 14 votes
Other (Explain in a post) - 11.4% - 5 votes
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Posted 7/2/2013 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
Considering the nature of the above survey questions, it wouldn't surprise me if this thread itself suddenly turns hostile.

Our Forum Rules do prohibit "… posts that attack, insult, flame, defame or abuse others." But what do we do about that gray area between outright flaming and "spirited exchanges?"

None of us wants censorship or undue restrictions on our forum free speech, but where is the line that separates "vigorous" from "hostile" posting?

It would seem timely and hopefully useful to gather some input from our listmembers on how to proceed on this admittedly controversial question. And if one of the above survey questions does wind up getting substantially more votes than the others, that may be an indication of the way we should go.

Vote and let's see how this does go. I've got the feeling this may make for a lively and interesting discussion.
Posted 7/2/2013 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Internet rule #1. Don't feed the trolls. Ignore the troll. Report the trolls and add to your blocked list They'll get tired and go somewhere else.

There are people who enjoy posting hostile things on websites just to get a rise out of you. If you don't rise to their bait, they go fishing elsewhere.

Don't feed the trolls - they'll only get bigger.

I had one troll start on my personal blog a few months ago. Just quietly deleted the posts, blocked the IP and email address and I've not had a return problem.

Andrew
Posted 7/2/2013 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
I like David/Purg's method of introducing positive subjects. Trolls hate good food . . . Q
Posted 7/2/2013 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
I highly recommend the “Ignore button” which is a feature of the website.   It is provided for exactly this purpose, and it is the recommendation of the site administrator…see the Forum Rules, read the 2 nd Guideline.   To use the “Ignore” button, select the “thumbs-down” in the upper right hand section of anyone’s posting (you must be logged in to use this feature) to put them on your “Ignore” list…then you won’t see what they post.   And in case you had the goofy notion that this is some sort of “censorship….it’s not if you choose to put someone on “Ignore.” I have used “Ignore” in the past, and am using it again now because of inappropriate personal ad hominem attacks which had absolutely nothing to do with helping anyone’s prostate cancer.   My mistake might have been to have gone back into my Profile and taken people “off” my Ignored user list to give them a second chance.   That has demonstrated to be a mistake in the past.      
Posted 7/2/2013 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
WOW - top 2 out of 3 threads is about how to behave on this site...

Me thinks we should look into upgrading the forum software... vBulletin is one of the really popular and powerful softwares...

Mods could have the ability to ban/suspend members at will. Sign Me Up turn
Posted 7/2/2013 3:52 PM (GMT 0)
Ignoring trolls and using ignore lists work just fine for those of us who have been around HW for a few months (or more). I fear for the new joiners who come here for support after being diagnosed with PCa, and are immediately turned-off by abrasive threads.

(My personal technique is to immediately stop reading any thread that becomes abrasive and never look back. I don't "ignore" any individual, since that person may have valuable input in a different non-abrasive thread.)

-Gedman
Posted 7/2/2013 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
Great points all Gedman, well said.

I also like and appreciate the links that you have put in your "signature" for the newbies - as you said and I firmly believe, that's what it's all about......
Posted 7/2/2013 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
On any other forums I frequent, I use ignore. No muss, no fuss, no drama.

Negative posters usually like the attention. Most of us here can agree we have better things to do; life is too short.
Posted 7/2/2013 4:10 PM (GMT 0)

if you are thin skinned the internet is not the place for you.  use the ignore button or stay off threads that offend you.  when you feel like the sky is falling and it's everyone else's fault take a break for awhile.

you cannot change the behavior of others.  the only thing you can change is your participation.

I believe threads like this stir up more crap than they solve because they solve nothing.  they only serve to promote finger pointing and more discord.

ed

Posted 7/2/2013 4:19 PM (GMT 0)
Yooper-

As I told my wife yesterday, I no longer need HW as a resource to understand and cope with my PCa (which appears to be largely behind me now), and I don't need HW as a social scene (no offense intended to the great/friendly folks here).

I remain on HW to share information/support/guidance to new folks the same way that many of you helped me when I came here after getting my PCa diagnosis 5 months ago.

(I truly believe that everyone on HW shares my goal of helping new joiners, but some folks don't realize how much their abrasive threads undermine that exact goal.)

-Gedman
Posted 7/2/2013 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
Is there a way to "ignore" a thread so it doesn't show up on the list?
Posted 7/2/2013 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
big difference between a troll and a person you don't like and want to put on ignore. A troll is someone out to just have fun with malicious attacks....that person should be banned immediately. Hes normally not a permanent poster...just a drive by poster that wants to stir up trouble.

I don't think Ive ever seen a troll on this website. As far as posters you don't agree with....I just ignore the post or skip it. Never used the ignore feature....I think its kinda weak...but that's just me.
Posted 7/2/2013 5:31 PM (GMT 0)
I do not use the ignore thread, but feel it should be improved, so if you do use it, so that when you can not see their post , the ignored can not see yours. I voted do nothing
Posted 7/2/2013 5:44 PM (GMT 0)

I voted for "do nothing." I guess I am simple-minded about this. We are all adults. There are forum rules. Follow the rules and all is well. Break the rules, and the mods should intervene. I think it is fine if some folks want to form a committee to lobby Peter for upgraded software and/or rules changes. I prefer they do it by email instead of through threads.

Beyond the rules, here are things I keep in mind:

  • Everyone has a different expectation from a forum like this. It ranges from emotional support to specific PCa advice to nutrition to a degree of PCa advocacy on topics like over treatment. Focus on the threads that suit your interests and ignore the others. There is no need to force members to conform to your interests or for you to pay attention to topics that do not interest you.
  • Some people see value in vigorous, even argumentative, debate. Others see the same thing as hostile behavior. People are like that in live settings. I have been President/Chairman in a couple of non-profit situations. We always had both kinds of individuals on the boards and everything in between. It is the same situation in my job as a program manager. Let posters have a vigorous debate if they want, as long as they follow the rules. If you hate conflict, stay off those threads or start your own thread with a different slant.
  • Posts appealing for peace or conflict cessation typically do not help. If a thread is getting overheated and everyone just starts ignoring it, the thread will die a natural death.
Posted 7/2/2013 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
I think Peter, who owns Healingwell, is the only person who bans people. So there is a distinct limit to what moderators can do here. I think we have to be willing to ignore a little noise.
Posted 7/2/2013 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
I guess i just bail out of the threads that turn "hostile", although, to be honest I don't read every thread in here, so I must be missing many of them. I guess I take gedman's approach, as I've never seen anyone I'd feel the need to put on ignore.
I am very indebted to many on this site who've provided information, support, and advice. I promise to do the same for all that follow me. For those reasons, I don't get too upset about anything I might read here. If PCa has taught me nothing else, it's that life can be short, and many people are much, much worse off than I am. For that reason alone, I'm not going to let an internet site bother me much.

Good Luck to everyone here!
Mike
Posted 7/2/2013 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
I guess everyone’s definition of hostile is different; HW in my newbe opinion is downright peaceful compared to some of the other web forums I belong to.
Posted 7/2/2013 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Reading about the losses that PCa brings makes me feel very sad - the loss of health and the side effects of treatments.

Hostile posts/posters do not bother me because I just don't read anything that I find objectionable. I don't read every thread anyway - just those that interest me. I come here to learn and controversy does not keep me from learning.
Posted 7/2/2013 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
Do nothing...if you don't like the content move on to the next thread...Life is short, who knows that better than us....People can be bitter or have bad days...deal with it. Smile more whine less...


Trolls...who wants to troll a cancer site anyhow.
Posted 7/3/2013 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
What Steven said.

Steven D said...
I guess everyone’s definition of hostile is different; HW in my newbe opinion is downright peaceful compared to some of the other web forums I belong to.

Posted 7/3/2013 2:25 AM (GMT 0)
Good grief!!

You guys see problems that aren't even there.

Yeah, some threads get heated. So what.

HW is absolutely TAME compared to most forums.

Additionally, keep in mind many folks are undergoing HT and many of them have emotional/cognitive SE. Others are suffering from the stress of having this disease and related issues.

We do pretty darn well, considering the above.

All this hand-wringing is rather mystifying.

Just IGNORE the poster, post, or thread

Mel
Posted 7/3/2013 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
The price of admission to this forum is prostate cancer. After that, it's free. Say what you're gotta say, do what you gotta do. Life's too short to get our briefs in a twist over occasional misbegotten posts. And even Miss Manners can't cure the congenital jerk or virtucrat who wants to prescribe for everyone else.
Posted 7/3/2013 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Southern Comfort, well said - I agree with your comments in particular and just about everything that has been said on this thread.
Posted 7/3/2013 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
String 'em up!

;)
Posted 7/3/2013 1:46 PM (GMT 0)

compiler said...
Good grief!!

You guys see problems that aren't even there.

Yeah, some threads get heated. So what.

HW is absolutely TAME compared to most forums.

Additionally, keep in mind many folks are undergoing HT and many of them have emotional/cognitive SE. Others are suffering from the stress of having this disease and related issues.

We do pretty darn well, considering the above.

All this hand-wringing is rather mystifying.

Just IGNORE the poster, post, or thread

Mel

I agree with Mel. For all those whining about trolls and hostility, you all lived a very sheltered internet life. First of all compared to other sites online this is nothing. There aren't any trolls here. True we have those who are overly sensitive and sometimes too strident in their opinions but none are classic internet trolls. I voted for do nothing too. In recent months I've seem more threads locked than I have in 5+ years before. It's getting out of hand and has become SOP for the mods. Yes I know it's a thankless job but most have been way too trigger happy lately IMHO. It also depends on how the participants look at this forum. For many of the regulars this has become a large part of their lives. Thus ego and protecting ones territory or reputation becomes personal factors. I too don't use this for a social site, not saying I'm disparaging those who do, but by doing so arguments become more personal here than they really should be. You don't need to read every thread and you can ignore people you don't like. I can without the ignore feature but if that is what it takes do so. Although as time goes by I look in here much less. I admit to being on the over treatment AS side but with my rather unique and rare PCa treatment I don't have a dog in the fight like those who battle between surgery and radiation treatment options. As far as the "good" wholesome threads someone remarked to kill off the trolls I find silly. If they make a few feel better in contrast to the argumentative threads so be it. But over all they are what they are just empty calories in a cancer forum.
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