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Posted 8/27/2013 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Passages.....I was afraid to look at these posts today for fear of what I might see......another one gone ....my heart is so heavy, I can't imagine how yours is. You have done so much to help HIM arrive at this place...given him as much opportunities to enjoy his life these last few months......Oh my, my...heaven has another angel....with no more pain...... I am so sad...please accept my hugs and sympathy....please continue to be strong...for yourself and all of us.....
Posted 8/27/2013 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Passages,

This is such a difficult time for you but I hope you find peace and comfort knowing he is in God's hands. I too dreaded coming to the HW site as it's been a horrific year for so many of us. I will continue to hold you in my heart and prayers.

You have been an inspiration to so many and I want to thank you for that.
May you find courage, strength and peace to forge ahead.

Love and hugs,
Zimac (Chris)
Posted 9/6/2013 2:20 AM (GMT 0)
Wanted to bump this up for new caregivers because of the great support and understanding from others on the journey. It's awesome to have a site like HW for up to date info on PC as well as personal insights. Thanks to all!
Posted 9/6/2013 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
sorry for your losses. I joined the sandwich generation in May, I go back to Italy in a few weeks to spend some time with my mum. Looking forward to taking he rout of the home she is in, checking he rinto my hotel and taking her for long daily walks/rides on her wheelchair through Arezzo.

The sheer number of caregivers is staggering. Here is an interesting article on it.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/20/caregivers-adults-care-for-elderly-relatives-sandwich-generation_n_3469779.html?utm_hp_ref=sandwich-generation
Posted 9/13/2013 3:03 AM (GMT 0)
Okay all of you "caregivers"..where are you all?
Jitters99, Passages, Bjnemo..... you guys have paid the price, gone full term, went every step of the way with your guy! Bless you, bless all of you, some who I don't know by name and some of you who just read these posts and never "sign up".
This road is not an easy one, watching the love of your life slip away slowly, becoming the skeleton and shadow of the man you once knew. Yes, they are in a better place now and without pain or sorrow, Jitters, Passages & Bjnemo. Their eyes are shinny and bright and they are at peace. Maybe sometime down the road we all can be at peace.......
But until then, all of us caregivers, who are still caring and tending to our men, we will carry on and strive for a brighter day tomorrow if today wasn't quite so good. We will take them to the doctor appointments, oncology appointments, radiation treatments, keep track of their medications and refills. Cook and prepare what if anything they have a "taste" for, tuck them in bed at night, hold them for awhile until they go to sleep. Then it's our turn to do what we can for ourselves, if it's washing, cleaning, ironing, reading or writing this blog, something to ease and take our mind off of this "treadmill, if just for a little while, that will be good for us, so we can face tomorrow with a smile when we look into our man's eyes and tell them how much we love them and will till the end of time.
Enough said....hugs to all!
Posted 9/13/2013 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Tednsal,

I am still here tending to the many chores that PCA hands out. Since Bob is holding his own at the current time, I'm trying to make the best out of life as I know one day it will end. After the two brain surgeries for mets our lives changed tremendously. Lots more physical therapy appointments along with doctors appointments. Just trying to get three meals a day in, is a chore itself. So our lives go on in a very different way. The only thing that is consistent is the love we have for each other. Spending more time with each other, thus the lack of posts on HW.

Zimac
Posted 9/14/2013 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
Zimac, tednsal, I'm on the road with you. The daily chores make life feel 'normal', finding the right food for today's menu, knowing the day of the week because the physical therapist comes on tues & thur (post stroke rehab). And enjoying those precious quiet hours with him, sharing memories and hopes for tomorrow. While Mark's stroke delayed our August trip north, we hope to try again to see the fall colors in the appalachians. If not, a few days at the beach would be ok. Oncol this week and may know how the zytiga is working. Its not an easy road as tednsal said, and often I have to fall back on my spiritual side asking my angels for support. On the most difficult days, I try to let go and let God, believing that a higher power is guiding us.
Pat
Posted 9/14/2013 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
My husband's journey is winding down. He is in Hospice House, indication of just days now.
Going thru a lot of adjustments. His mom and sister were up from Florida for a few days and it was perfect because he was alert just a few days ago. They left this morning. My sister from Maine was here for a few days and left this morning. But she could come back next Thursday. Lots of talking and crying with her.
Letting some old friends know.
I am with him tonight. And I have arranged for work this week not to rely on me. They are so wonderfully supportive, hugs for me.
He isn't very alert today, lots of sleeping. But yesterday he clearly responded to me with Sweetheart, I love you.
I am sitting quietly here, watching him, sometimes holding his hand, and caressing.
Very quiet here, a very nice room.
This place is wonderful because as the nurses and doctor say, it allows me to be the wife and not caregiver. I am so grateful for that.
I am also grateful for Jitters, Passages, Zimac, and I know I won't mention all the ones I should mention. Grateful to HW for allowing these thoughts to be shared.
Posted 9/15/2013 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
Oh nhwife.......another one of our PC soldiers is lying low tonight......I am so sad, ....I just can't write anymore for my eyes are blurry with tears........peace and love to you both........hold him close for as long as you can......
Posted 9/15/2013 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sure we are all thinking of you, nhwife, and your days now in hospice. There doesn't seem to be anything to say, at least not the right thing, the thing we would like to know to say, the words that would heal and make you strong, but we can surround you with your thoughts as you go into the valley.
Posted 9/15/2013 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
NHWIFE,

My heart is heavy for you tonight, even in these "dark hours", I am glad you are still able to hold on to your husband, and make his passing to the next world as comfortable as possible. Hope you continue to have the strength, courage, and love, to make it through these most difficult of days.

David in SC
Posted 9/15/2013 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
Nhwife,

It has been such a terrible year. We have lost so many good men to this horrific disease. You have done everything you could do for Ed. May the quiet time now be spent with beautiful memories and may you both find the peace you both deserve.

Zimac
Posted 9/15/2013 6:02 AM (GMT 0)
I am not a person that really hates anything or anyone, but I truly hate PC, and what a ruthless enemy it can be to so many. Doesn't play by the rules, and takes away so many good men from their wives and children, way too soon. I despise everything about it, and what it does. Which it could one day be eradicated.

If this were a literal war, we have indeed lost too many of our brother-soldiers in the past 12 months here, and unfortunately, there are still several more waiting to be taken from us, despite their valiant and heroic fights to stay alive.

Such is the curse of prostate cancer.

David
Posted 9/15/2013 10:53 AM (GMT 0)
He is finally at peace. Around 6 this am. I am still with him. He is finally not in pain.
Posted 9/15/2013 12:24 PM (GMT 0)
Nhwife,

So sorry for your loss. Know that there are a lot of us on the forum praying for you and thinking about you this morning.
Posted 9/15/2013 12:52 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry, nhwife. You have been there for him every step of the way. It is peace, at the end, isn't it? It's hard to describe that moment when you know what peace is.
These threads on this forum let us re-evaluate where we are in our journey and what we might need to do so we can reach that place in peace as well. But for now, it's nhwife, passages, jitters, and a few others who come first in our thoughts. Our feelings and opinions pale in the magnitude of their brave journey and the sad times yet to come.
Posted 9/15/2013 1:59 PM (GMT 0)
Nhwife,

My heart is very heavy with sadness but relieved that Ed is at peace. May you find comfort knowing you stood by your man.

All my love,

Zimac
Posted 9/15/2013 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
NH, may the peace of the Lord be with you, and your family. May Ed rest in eternal peace.

david in sc
Posted 9/15/2013 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
NH you have my condolences.
Posted 9/15/2013 8:10 PM (GMT 0)
Nhwife, so sad with your loss, just a few weeks since Passages and Jitters. Your last days and hours with him at hospice gave you a little time to just be there with each other, holding hands. You both fought hard and now peace for your warrior. You will be in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
Pat
Posted 9/16/2013 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
I have opened a new posting in honor of our latest fallen PC Soldiers.

This is the title: OUR LATEST FALLEN PC SOLDIERS & THEIR WARRIOR CAREGIVERS

Also posted a poem that I thought would be appropriate at this time for them as well....

I hope the name and dates are correct.....all of you are in my thoughts and prayers and will there for a long time to come.....

Warrior - Jitters99 (LuAn) & PC Soldier (Jim): 07/05/2013
Warrior - Bjnemo (Barb) & PC Soldier (Gene): 07/21/2013
Warrior - Passages (???) & PC Soldier (Mike): 08/24/2013
Warrior - nhwife (Susan) & PC Soldier (Ed): 09/15/2013
Posted 9/16/2013 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
nhwife,
I offer my condolences. I am so sorry but I am glad he is no longer in pain. You were a magnificent warrior for him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in the coming days.
Southern Comfort
Posted 9/16/2013 4:37 AM (GMT 0)
Nhwife/Susan,
I'm so sorry, but glad you were with him and you are right he's/their at peace. An unbelievable toll our Pca warriors and we women warriors have had. Take care, my thoughts and prayers are with you. This part is not a fun journey either.
Jane
(Sorry all haven't been on, so much to do and 4 day visit to the hospital.)
Posted 9/16/2013 9:06 AM (GMT 0)
I am so frightful about going to this thread and fearing another loss has taken place.  God bless you dear Jane.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Susan, I know the pain you must be feeling.  All of you ladies are so strong and make the last weeks, months, years of your husband's lives.  With us, it's still vicious never-ending pain.  Right now Ron is said to have beaten this thing.  We will feel more assured two tears from now.

I almost feel I no longer belong here, but my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.  Please stay strong!

Hugs,

Aimzee

Posted 9/16/2013 9:29 AM (GMT 0)
My prayers are with you and your family.
Jim
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