Do any of your wives or partners not want any kind of intimacy after loosing the ability to erect?

As scary as PCa is for we who have it I believe it can be just as, or maybe more, frightening for our wives.

My wife and I have fantastic intimacy. However, with my treatments, the mechanics have changed. I use a VED. She has a "device" as well. We typically play, then I take 3-5 minutes to pump while she stays "busy", we then have intercourse, and sometimes we play some more.

After my surgery and getting started on ADT, she was the aggressor, getting me back in the saddle.

Because I am on ADT, the nature of my climaxes vary quite a lot. Sometimes they have moderate intensity. Sometimes I can string together several medium-sized ones during one session -- that is fun! Rarely, I have an earthquake experience -- the best ones in my entire life. I am looking forward to seeing if that can happen more often after ADT.

I am sorry for those that are missing intimacy in their relationships. It is a source of great joy for us.

SC

It's not me that isn't interested; it is my husband.  It has nothing to do with his ability or inability to achieve an erection, he has a prosthesis.  He just isn't interested.  BTW he also had radiation and HT post surgery due to positive margins.

We've been very blessed, mainly due to Hubby's attitude.   He's not had much of an issue with being at approx. 50+%, most liking from believing that it'll eventually get better.   He's had 'enough' (if he’s careful) for penetration (& his Big Os) since about a week or so after the cath came out, and we've had little problems.    We've also been blessed with being able to crack up laughing the time I got 'hosed', over any early on drips, and giggling over pumping attempts.   Maybe it’s been knowing it was about the surgery , not about himself or his manhood?   And if you google the percentage of women who orgasm through intercourse, you'll see it's very, very low.   I'm guessing it's society and 'guy talk' which has guys believing a rock hard erection is the 'be all, end all'.   Just as women have to daily face all those magazine covers at the check-out, all about how we ‘should' look….    Neither is our reality.   ;)   The twinkle in Hubby’s eyes as he looks at me, his true joy in pleasing me in bed and out, that he actually consciously tries to be a good hubby, how he jokingly does his pelvic thrusts as I leave for work, etc, etc….   He makes sure his side of our ‘emotional bank’ is full of deposits.   That’s what creates our ‘intimacy’, not an erection .      I truly wish God's peace to those struggling with this issue; I hear the pain, the sadness.  And I wish I had a magic wand to wave...   

I posted my rambling and over-long contribution to this topic in its own thread, here: www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=2892667