ED thing-- 8 months out and still struggling with this ED

The only question I have at this point is, where is the ignore button I've heard spoken of, where as you can turn off certain members posts??

Logos,

Since it seems to have been Appleseed that set you off I will point out that, while you contend that people are missing your point here, you are missing the point, too, at least in as much as you are responding to Appleseed's venting. Yes, you are right; for a sufficiently inventive guy there are ways to have satisfactory intimate relations without a penetration-quality erection. Granted. But Appleseed was complaining about his androgen blockade that prevents any sort of arousal at all, physical or mental. And, yes, we guys on hormones can still inject and diddle our wives but most of the fun our wives have in sex is getting us excited. I'm not that good an actor and my wife loses interest quickly when she senses (with uncanny accuracy) that I am phoning it in.

And yes, this is an open forum and all respectable opinions are allowed. But I honestly can't see your point in complaining that men are talking about their disappointments with their genitals in an ED thread. Yes, we should get on with our lives, but some of us find it helpful to vent from time to time and we do that here on the forum in threads like this one.

We do get on with our lives, by the way. If you want to see how well you should go to one of the GFMPH gatherings sometime. Florida is coming up in March and there's plenty of room on the boat for GFMPH Alaska in June.

PeterD ED or sexual dysfunction i.e.{ total loss of libido} as a result of pca treatment is one package with at leasst 2 compartments. 1. loss of erection, with libido 2.Erection{ injections} without libido, 3. loss of erection and libido. so at least 3, then. #1 , the most common allows for the easier solutions. # 2 seems to me pointless, as there is only one "sexual" partner", who , actually both, would think would suffer some needless guilt and cause tension. On this point, most of the needless guilt would be from the man.
Women for the most part have the understanding of this issue, ironically better than the man, but will feel guilty based on their inability to please the man, who has a condition neither have control over. #3 seals the deal, now it all comes together negatively. What to do? I don't have that answer. But I do know what not to do. Hate yourself ,both partners, which will in time destroy what ever intimacy was trying to be effected. Depression is self hate from guilt , real or perceived. Appleseed brought up depression,which was the real trigger for my rant. He has the triple whammy and conceded his post as a rant and vent and did not need to go on Facebook or twitter to express it. that is the value of this forum. I participated in this thread to support Bigal and posted that support be fore my rant. I have since continued on this thread in spite of a pout full statement to the contrary. I have participated in these these thread often. I do believe in the importance of them. I posted a rant, which by its very definition is all over the place and logically inept, that was the antithesis to Appleseeds, but my rant was "out of line" and was castigated on the spin others provided. I spin my universe, I let others spin there's. Does this answer have holes, yes, feel free to fill them, I need support also. Shock therapy has proven useful in the treatment of depression, btw. As for GFMPH, to be honest, I do better one on one or with 2 or 3. From your story of being at a party once when first we met , I suspect you may be the same. I must ask you this, would the young man in my visual have cocked his head to focus attention on a comely young woman passing by on HT. I ask with complete ignorance of what exactly loss of libido " feels " like and want to know. Does a man still appreciate, the lines, the grace, poise and beauty of this other creature that glides the earth. I know the desire for sex is not there. The beauty, fat,skinny, short, tall, gorgeous , homely….. old/young. The eyes, the eyes…. are they still there?

Logos, you're still off in the weeds here as far as this thread goes but you asked an interesting question. I've moved your comment to its own thread so people can respond to it without hijacking this thread which is about something else...

-- PeterDisAbelard

Post Edited By Moderator (PeterDisAbelard.) : 12/9/2013 12:02:46 PM (GMT-7)

I will echo what has been said.  I am 19 months out and getting a fair erection (good enough for intercourse) with Levitra 20mg.  I had essentially nothing except fullness for about a year.  At 14 months I got partial morning erections.  I took Cialis 5mg every nite which I still do.  I also did shots for rehab.  I really did not have any sex for one year and it was ruining my life and stressing my marriage - primarily due to my preoccupation with it.  At 18 months I had my first non-shot intercourse.  Orgasms are getting easier.  It seems to bet better slowly.  I am more at ease.  I followed the path of Bill from NJ (Z0).  I would read his posts for encouragement.  Don't give up at eight months.  Do shots, pills, stimulation, pump.  My goal was not to leave any stone unturned in this endeavor.

 

Wow you guys are awesome -- I appreciate the answers

and yes things could always be worse, but that goes with anything in life. It does feel like your whining sometimes compared to others problems and anything can happen to any of us at a moments notice, but being able to perform in a little more natural way with your other is a huge part of human existence. It can be very bad if you don't have someone close to support you either. If you try to start a new relationship and you can't perform that's a very very hard thing to do. Just from your confidence in even trying to start with another person. I don't know how many of us are suffering from this severe side effect from the post op but I bet it's a big number. That's alot of good men that have been removed from one of life's major events and alot of good women suffering along with their men. That was a very good post about the Dr. telling you "not to have sex for 8 weeks". The same thing was told to me and it was told in a way that you would be able to have sex in 8 weeks.

That was very misleading-- and of course the Dr will tell you that 15% won't recover at all so I guess anyone who doesn't is covered in that 15%. Anyway thank you so much for the encouagement. It is fantastic to have somewhere to come and share these experiences. These are subjects that you really can't talk to very very few people about and it can get mighty lonely, but it also makes for good humor at times as well. So thank you all again for caring.

It still amazes me that the side effects and our reaction to them are as many as there are personalities. For me it's been 4 years and there is still no natural erection, and probably never will be. Since two months out we have been having sex, with a very hard erection, via the pump and cock rings. This has become the "new normal" and we look for forward to it twice a week. There have been other issues as noted below, but like sailors we trim our sails and tack until our backs are against the wind. Best Regards to all, Inkhorn

Hi
This is an important thread that touches on one biggest fears I had and have dealing with PCa, will I be able to have a satisfactory sex life? I spent weeks looking at information about this topic right after my diagnosis and frank discussions like this were lacking, all I could find was statistics. It scares the hell out of me that I won’t be able to regain some semblance of function in a reasonable amount of time. I want nothing more than to regain some sense of normalcy, which includes sex with my wife like we used to have...
But… people that have gone before me provide hope of function returning and that helps me deal with the frustration. Thanks for sharing your stories

What’s with the 3 month slump? I’ve not heard of that before